All comics by bounder

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by bounder
8-05-03
Well, how did the blind date go
The guy was a total tosser. I had to pick him up. found he had left his wallet at home so I had to pay for the meal and the drinks, and while he was at the bar he chatted up some little slut.
Throughout the evening he talked about himself and fucking football while steadily getting pissed at my expence and on our way home he asked if we could go back to my place and have a shag.
What did you do?
I took him over the other side of town, stopped outside the first house with a closed gate, asked him to get out and open it then drove off. What the fucks wrong with me, why cant I meet a nice man.

 

by bounder
8-05-03
You are in luck. a friend has just come out of a long term relationship. I think you would get on well. leave it to me.
Well.... alright if you think he's OK and not like that wanker the other night.......yes.
Hi, how did the date go with my friend.
The night went well. He paid for everything. He was very attentive and polite, opened doors for me, held my chair I could'nt have been looked after better, and he did'nt try anything on after.
Great. Are you going to see him again.
No.... I dont think so. He was.... um.... well..... I.. a.. you see... uh...(sigh) you see... he was, nice.

 

by bounder
8-06-03
BOOM.BOOM.BOOM.TISH.BOOM.BOOM
Here comes that fucking wanker again. Bloody windows wound down, stereo turned up the little shit, it gets on my fucking tits. He and all his twat mates
I believe its all to do with a ingrained need to advertise for a mate, but they dont know it. But in the world of ornithology. The birds whistle for a receptive partner.
BOOM.BOOM.TISH.BOOM.BOOM.BOOM
Crap. The little shit is advertising that he's got a fuckin old Fiesta thats not worth a toss but spends 4 times its value on his music machine and speakers.
In our days kids use to walk around with ghetto blasters on their shoulders but apart from that I dont know the reason.
BOOM.BOOM.TISH.BOOM.BOOM.BOOM
Big speakers small willy?
I'll go with that.

 

by bounder
8-28-03
This new bloke..whats he like..are you doing the dirty deed yet
He's alright, quite nice,but our relationship is more...(?)..platonic.
Platonic, what do you mean platonic.
?......?....
Well
Basically..... we havent exchanged any body fluids yet.

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