All comics by californiamagic

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by californiamagic
9-10-04
The Question of the Day
Our next Viewer wants us to Answer which weighs more, a Pound of Feathers, or a Pound of Gold...
Hmmmm....Im thinking the Gold of course
Neither One you Idiot! They Both weigh the SAME, a Pound!
I Cant Believe I fell for That

 

by californiamagic
9-10-04
Dude, Where's that Five Bucks You Owe Me!
Five Bucks, What Five Bucks?
Oh, well uh you were drunk when I loaned it to you.
Oh, THAT Five Bucks....
You were Drunk when I paid you Back!
Shucks!

 

by californiamagic
9-10-04
I told em I didnt want to sit close to the Screen
Who's Idea was it to see PATTON Anyways?

 

by californiamagic
9-11-04
He Puts the Question out there...
You Want to Go out on a Date This Satuday?
She Gives No Definitive Answer...
Can I get Back to you on That One?
Brrrrr!
The Cold Reality of the Situation
Man, That was Really COLD!

 

by californiamagic
9-11-04
Hooray! Karioke For Christmas!
I going to Grow up to be a Big Star and Sing for Large Audiences World Wide
Now I play to Dead Audiences, I think I will sell my Karioke on Ebay Now!
Good Grief, What have I done with my Life?

 

by californiamagic
9-11-04
The Christmas Movie Audition....
Sorry Man, Im just not feeling the Spirit.
Shucks!
The Cattle Call Continues....
Sorry Kris, Your Just not doing it for me
Asshole
The Final Choice
Ahh, FINALLY, someone who can follow Direction!
When is Lunch

 

by californiamagic
9-11-04
Uh, oh!
Hmmm, mmm,hmm
If its Stuck,Force it, if it Breaks, it needed to be replaced Anyways!
Crap!

 

by californiamagic
9-11-04
Found Stoway "Number One"
Arr, Ill Teach the two of you to Stow away on my Ship!
Uh, Oh!
Found Stowaway #2
Arrr, Do it Again!
No, Please, it Hurts!
The Stow Aways have been Erased
Arrrr, it brings Tears to me one good Eye!

 

by californiamagic
9-11-04
Why you should never Talk back to a Police Officer:
Son, your eyes look a little Red, have you been smoking marijuana?
No Officer,your Eyes look GLAZED, have you been eating DONUTS?
They Might show you how smart they really are!
Bullshit! You cant see my Eyes, Im wearing Sunglasses! Do I have Crumb's on my Shirt Somewhere?

 

by californiamagic
9-12-04
Excuse Me Father, did you hear what happend to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Why No my Son, What Happened?
Popeye Beat the Shit out of him!
Very Funny!

 

by californiamagic
9-12-04
Spare some Change?
Oh Shit!
Spare some Change for a guy down on his luck?
What the
The Candy Bar that guy was eating looked good

 

by californiamagic
9-12-04
What are you Staring at?
You think People never seen someone relaxing in a Trash Can Before
What the
I Landed here first, Take your Ship and go home!

 

by californiamagic
9-12-04
Mmmh, mmmph,mmh !
What have we here?
Oh, Yeah!
This Shouldnt take long at all!
Whoa, How can I ever thank You!
Let me Have your Soul!

 

by californiamagic
9-12-04
As the Audience Chants over and over: "Eat the Shit, Eat the Shit"
Uh-Oh...
The Giant Fly on Stage Hesitates....
I dont think I can do this...
The Audience BOO's as they Shoo him offstage...
I CANT, THERE'S A HAIR IN IT!

 

by californiamagic
9-12-04
There was a young Woman From Zorb's, Who's Pussy was Covered with Sores...
As she walked down the Street, the Dog's ate The Green Meat, that hung in strings from her Drawers!
Hi there Cutey
That was Fucking Disgusting

 

by californiamagic
9-12-04
Take me to your Leader!
Im not going to ask you Again!
Guess he wasnt Kidding around
Oops, Darn Safety Lock

 

by californiamagic
9-14-04
Halloween Time is Here Again
Does this make me Look Scary?
Dont Make me Laugh!
How about Now?
Not Even Close!
How about Now?

 

by californiamagic
9-14-04
Listen to this, I bought a dozen eggs at the supermarket the other day....
uh, huh
I got home and only ten were good, so I go back to the market and tell the manager, and you know what he told me?
No What?
Too Bad...Get it? TWO BAD?
GROAN

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