All comics by chopper

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by chopper
8-25-05
Last Week...
Is wha di rass this? Me get ban fe simple joke?
Mi hear say Shim go suck a dippy fe avoid him secret leak out...
This week.
YO whagwaan Choppa, Unu nuh si say unu wholla thread dem did flop?
Shet unu toilit-mouth before meh chop unu metal skunt hole too. Me dun wid this nonsense "war". It nuh good at all.
We are here to put to rest the scrawny body of a certain boardie....
I will never love another...

 

by chopper
8-25-05
*sniff*...and then he said that all Irish ppl fuck sheep, and something about my mumma, and...
These are very serious allegations mr Shim, We will bring this Insurrectionist to justice, I mean all the times you´ve helped us it´s only fair.
LATER THAT DAY...
Hol it right there Choppa, we´ve got u surrounded!
Mi nuh know bout nuh baddy name Choppa...
Somewhere in the jungle:
So wha unu have fi say JJP?
The higher the monkey climb is the more him expose!

 

by chopper
8-31-05
At club Paradise
Spice,what are doing with so much Crystal?
Well newsbot, I boops the liquor and Mayti sells them to pay her rent and car note
where does MAyti hide 10 bottles of liquor to smuggle across the border????
when the bottles all start smell like three day old fish, ya get your answer...
Outside...
Wha di rass u mean dress code?
Purple suit naah mek it tonite, Chopper

 

by chopper
9-12-05
At the club last weekend
..and mi hear seh Malvo ah one child molesta, and dat motherfucker weh seh him a go stay off come back again, and...
This naah mek it, me ave fi mek a move or me ears will bleed...
a wha dis fada?
Help! Zeres a man try kill me, cest tres terrible! cest par possible!
A few minutes later..
Yo, dude are you like, OK and stuff?
At least I´m not in New Orleans...

 

by chopper
9-12-05
...We were like down in south-east asia for a couple o months, and the people are so much happier down there, They dont have all the modern day stress and I braided my hair real cheap...
OK Choppa, lets Summarize: Nice ass, and the face is not bad, but why she have to talk so much bout them hippie drug trips and rave and ting...?
...there was this producer call K-flap , and he totally told me I could be a star! We only had to fix my face up a little bit, and something I´m gonna be like the Madonna of the ne Millenium...
Is this what we were put here to do? Isn´t there some other way of getting punny than listening to this?
Are you the guy that put out an ad for School Girls? I like beeing DP:d, gangbanged and...
Yah mudda kunt, life nuh easy!

 

by chopper
9-12-05
So Mayti, why them tak wey all u rep point them?
I sent some bad ratings in another persons name. LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!
And You Debo, why them decrease your post count and mek you green?
a: becah me a spam the board wid poll or b:Me a one big fassyhole, or maybe c) Top Choppers comics is the best thing to happen to the board since how lang.
Any comment JJP?
Ban all white membars!

 

by chopper
9-13-05
In the not too distant future DHR is divided by race. In the White People Forum:
Yo No Nicetime, How come there´s no Obeah artists? That like sing bout puttin curses on peole and stuff?
Elephant Man is a Obeah artist. Is pretty common to see him fucking goats in Jamaica. Badman nuh inna dat.
In the Chiney and Coolie people forum:
Wakkarimasen Gavin-Sama... How to create very infinitely conquering photoshop?
batangpaganga...bighead bungdiongshigong.curry katam salang bigong..
In the Ethiopian Jewish Forum:
Write, goddamnit.

 

by chopper
9-13-05
Yow soundbwoy, peep this yah now. Me ave all the latest tune and me could splice any sound name ova them!
I want one Jacob Miller tune, dat say "Deathflash sound whip dem wid culture"
...........Hol it right there SpliceMan,............. ............... your days of low grade dubplate cutting......... ....... ..... have come to an end.....................
Captain Reggae?! But they told me you retired?!
After a well deserved beating and a few bottlings...
....Some People......... ...never...... learn....... ......Groovebot.....
Why unu nug go a di toilet and have a shit. Di constipation is making you talk funny. When yu dun let we bad up the news bot!

 

by chopper
9-14-05
WELCOME TO SOUND SYSTEM HISTRY WITH PUPPAH CADBURY:
Dis ah Puppah Cadbury Man blessed lemme tell unno youths wha gwan wid jesus. Me an jesus use to par ah England lang lang time ago zeen.
Jesus was a dreadlocks youth him did born ah Brixton from one gyal name Marissa. Him was a good youth use to play pon a sound called Almighty Hi Power dem times yuh had Jesus ah MC...
"All a di man weh naah support no Battyman, dem tune yah request fe the I them, Come dung wid it Buju, cha!"
Dem times SAXON was just ah juggling sound Papa Levy and dem man was upcoming youths so dem never buck up Jesus sound.
Jesus did murda nuff sounds left and right. Now its kinda sketchy fe Puppah Cadbury Man get fe find out de Jewish bredda and de Roman bredda dem accused Jesus ah playin splice tunes and trick people.
Cadbury Man did sorry when me hear wha happen to jesus me nah lie. Cadbury Man me have some cassette ah Jesus when him play sound if any youth interested uno link me zeen. Dis ah Cadbury man blessed

 

by chopper
9-14-05
In Okinawa.
"...unu go suck unu slanty yeyed dog-nyammin, antiman mudda kunt. Mi nuh waan no Japanese fassy round yah so...
This is enough. Time for revenge is now.
In Jamaica.
YOU HAVE DISHONORED MY NAME. PREPARE FOR SUDDEN NINJA ATTACK SOMETIME NEXT WEEK
Nuttn nuh goh so, Time fe get me a saturday night special and a ski mask and ambush dis fassy dung a Norman Manley...
This is not ultimate fight location, Scwally-San.
Me nuh si nuttn wrong!? Bring it, Pokemon Bwoy!!!

 

by chopper
9-14-05
The Badman Dog is fed up with his master and decides to run away...
Mi tired now fuck a Debo an him poll fuckry. Him naah even pay fe dogfood. Him tink seh mi can live offa mi owna shit and grass alone?.
Badman Dog wanders the streets til he reach the poor parts...
BZZZ BZZZ Two for Five ova here so BZZZ BZZZ
How come these motherfuckers cyaan get a job like evrybody else? Come inna mi country an dig up mi bone and sell honey fe a living. Dem ah thiefs and pimps the whole ah dem!
U lookin for some company? Me love it doggy style yu know!
Me get some Bunny-Punny and me nuh haffi sleep in Debo bed Tonite! Win win situation!

 

by chopper
9-14-05
As suspected, fuckin Bunnies can mek even a Badman Dog fret fe lift him leg pon any fire hydrant...
Me neva really love JJP thru him a iidjat mascot, but rite bout now me nuh have no other alternative... Bare fire and razor me ah piss!
Mi hear say unu get di crab an clap and dem ting deh. Nuh worry bout it mi idren, mi have a cure fe it. We only need to go check mi contact. Step inna mi ship, If u please.
JJP´s spaceship goes into orbit...
Nuh badda worry, Badman Dog, me nuh inna di probin man ting. But hear now: When we ah reach me a go stay a di ship and you go meet the contact, sight?
Seen
(to be continued)
What is dis now? A setup?
Mek me gi yu the cure fe fuckin me wife while me deh pon interstellar mission.

 

by chopper
9-14-05
Unu should´ave neva stick dat dutty canine cocky inna mi gal pums, Badman Dog. Tek Gunshot!
Unu should ave neva stuck dat bunnu buddy inna mi gal SKLW6ORX Breeding hole. Tek lazer beam, Bugs Batty!
The Badman Dog is now stuck on the moon, but luckily Neil Armstrong runs an internet café where our Canine Hero can send a desperate call to his master...
Dat fuck betta not be home from work, else me a go chew evry piece a shoe deh inna di house...
DEBO I AM ON THE MOON. GET ME A SPACESHIP OR GO FOLD UP
Back on earth
Yo 40oz, look like you gonna be bruks this month.
I should ave got the Badman Goldfish...

 

by chopper
9-15-05
After a few loans, Debo is in orbit.
Is why you falla me all the time, missa IT guy? Unu nuh have nuttn bettah fi do than watch me evry move?
Since you were employed, virus and hate-mail costs have soared to the sky. And you shouldn´t have eaten my sandwich. IT WAS CLEARLY MARKED "IT"!!!
So, care to hexplain this? You know I couldn´t post a poll today because a dis?
For starters you could buy me a leash insted of using ducktape when u waan me fe stay somewhere. Secondly, buy me a chewtoy you didn´t stick inna one a u fat bitch dem...
Back on earth, in the jungle.
Did you see my spaceship today JJP?
Me ave two brother name see-an-blind and hear and deaf. U catch my drift, snowflake?

 

by chopper
9-15-05
Sound System Histry part 2
Blessed this is Puppah Cadbury blessed. Yes mi know bout foundation tune. One time me and one dread name Daniel mek one move guh dung a one club name Jericho.
But when we reach, di gatesman seh wi cyaan come in thru say them have dress code, an mi did say the man well grudge a well dress man like meself, but him have shotgun pon him back so me an Daniel go.
So we dey a Daniel yard, and him tell him gal go fe de chalwa, and mi an di bredren siddung and reason. Afta a while this rudeboy name Mac Truck sey him a go fe him gun dem and nuff people falla.
Daniel say him noo too like the way things a gwaan, seen, so him start pack up him speaker and ting pon him truck back,him pickney did help too, and him sey wi fi go back a Jericho
Mack truck and him posse si wah gwaan and jus tek a seat a di truck wid dem gun pon safety.Dis time around the Gateman ah act like him a di big man, but him neva see when Daniel pickney connect ..
di speaker and turn dem to full blast. Daniel tell me fe tek di mic an mc and then he play "visit a di King Selassie I" til Jericho wall all a crumble. Mi tyell yu dem ol time dance gwaan wickid...

 

by chopper
9-16-05
Breeding rituals, part of the cultural heritage. White ppl:
So I´m off to Iraq now baby. Can I fuck you up the ass before I go?
Save something for the Welcome home party.
Black people:
Buy me McDonalds!
Only if you swallow.
Chiney People:
Sucki Sucki
Fi´e dolla´

 

by chopper
9-16-05
The CIA have discovered that they can fly all around the world and kidnap people if they accuse them of being Al Qaida. This time they go to Italy.
Lets get us another factory worker for the Guatanamo Bay Happy Meal factory
Yeah yeah, cool! huh huh huh!
The Cia find a victim
Stop or I´ll shoot, towelie head! Your friends have all Implicated you as Bin Ladin right hand.
*?* il americano? Fan Culo!
But before they can fly to Cuba, an representative for the Italian people find them...(based on a true story)
Ha ha I´m the Cia motherfuckers, You cant even stop me from kidnapping The pope!
What-a da fack-a you doing-a?! You americano, with-a your weak coffe and bassibolla? Get-a da fuck-a out-a here!

 

by chopper
9-19-05
Since he dealt with Peter Joyce at Dublates.com, cpt reggae and the groovebot tek vacation.
......Yo.... Groovebot.. ...I.....need....some... ...help.... wax...the.... ...reggaemobile....
Sorry sah, me naah have time fe dem ting dey, me get an invitation from di newsbot to meet him inna an abandoned warehouse.
Hello? Newsbot? Are you here? memba that it was choppas idea to harass you, me juss a falla. Hello?
*HISS* ^PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS^
Yuh mudda kunt! Its a g-1000 liquid metal polyalloy Drumpan Droid!
MISSION: FIND THE GROOVEBOT AND TERMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. SUB-MISSION: GO BACK IN TIME AND STOP NINJAMAN FROM PERFORMING AT STING 1991.

 

by chopper
9-19-05
Its a showdown between Groovebot and the Drumpan droid.
Come on then, tek badup! " them cyaan kill the groovebot no matta how them try, it no mek sense a pussyhole plea nah cry..."
HAHAHA! PITIFUL! "TO KILL GROOVE AH RED BOT PLEASURE, TIME FE CALL THE ROBOT UNDERTAKER, GO SUCK A METAL VAGINA, AND GO FOLD UP IN CAPTAIN REGGAE MOTHER."
"the Droid cyaan tek the boom boom ratatatablamblam, Groovebot a dust out another drumpan."
"GROOVEBOT; THERE GOES YOUR BATTRYMAN CARREER, MEK RAY GAY SCREW YOU INNA DI REAR, GROOVEBOT JUST GET DEAD IN HERE..."
The groovebot bionic sound finally conquers the evil droid...
"Groovebot a real badman, mek from fiberglass and bluesteel badman, how unu feel drumpan, the way me kill u up me a surreal badman!"
SYNTAX ERROR!!! SHUTDOWN SEQUENCE INITIATED!

 

by chopper
9-19-05
YO DHR, IS ME NAME CHOPPA, AND ME MEK THEM CARTOON YAH.
NUFF PEOPLE TELL ME SEH DEM LOVE THE STRIP, AND RAY-TAY. ME LOVE FE HEAR DAT.
SOMETIMES ITS HARD TO FIND NEW IDEAS FOR ME CARTOON, SO I JUST PASTE SOMETHING SOMEBODY SAID ON THIS BOARD.
ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO SHOW YOU TWO NEW CHARACHTERS THATS GONNA BE FEATURED IN FUTURE STRIP:
Hi everybody, I´m Shimino.
A me name N.I.X.

 

by chopper
9-19-05
I heard theres a comeback on DHR!
Who could it be?
Welcome to FuckDonalds, can I tek your order?
Mooooooooooooooo! Give me a hundred mcnugget and a gallon of diet coke. Did you hear who is back?
PREPARETH FOR H.I.M's RETURN ! REPENT MAAAWFUKKA'S B4 HIS RETURN OR FACE JUDGEMENT !!
WACKNESS HAS REIGNED FOR WAAAAAAY TOO LONG NOW.SMALL ISLANDERS ARE STARTING TO FEEL DEM MIGHT EQUAL TO THE YARD MAN ! AND WHITE PEOPLE A GWAAAAN LIKE DEM BELONG ON YA!!!

 

by chopper
9-21-05
Couple a years ago Choppa was arrested for a minor charge, and while incarcerated he realized certain things:
So why are you here?
Me did deh pon base and push and ol lady outside a church and tief har five dalla EC fe go buy anodda rock.
Dem charge yu fi wha? Yo rudeboy dis naah look too right, how a man could tief, sell and buy the same one set a CD player?
At least them neva see di joint me chuck inna me Ital-stew.
I came here on a ship from South Africa, and after two nights sleeping on the beach I break into one house. Too bad it was the only one with an alarm inna di whola English Harbour
Mi is a Criminal Genius..

 

by chopper
9-22-05
Mi nuh care what them tell you, while we deh pon dis island you will adress me as Major Machete! And yu nuh name Sawyer nuh more, u call Shaggy from now on.
Sir yes sir.
Mr machete, we have prepared the budoir in the cave. It will be me the rich chick and the Chiney gal.
It just so happens I brought some outfits with me. You feel more like: nurse, cheerleader or maid. Or maybe a sexy feral girl?
We gotta get off this island! We trying to build a raft, but smaddy ah torch it!
Is me decide who an who a go leave dis island, and whoever find me Ganja Plane first have a guaranteed spot.

 

by chopper
9-25-05
"- Choppa, me waan unu fe come a mi house when mi hubby is away and chop mi panty dem to shreds. Here is some pum pum pics." DAYUM!
If she have di punny she haffi get fuck , nuh true, Chatty?
*SQUAWK* - ROLL UP ANOTHER ONE *SQUAWK* JOIN THE INSURRECTION *SQUAWK* POLLY WAAN PUNANI *SQAUWK* GIMME PUNANI!
Mi gone out fe me Thai-Bo class, baby. I´ll pick up dat machete u asked for even though me nuh know why. Ta-ta!
Tek your time missa one minute ruks. Choppa come fe deal wid me case!

 

by chopper
9-26-05

 

by chopper
9-26-05
Hello and welcome to DHR news. Todays stories: Spades accused of being Down-Low, Experts say the board did pop dung.
Also all the details of HIM´s comeback, why Gavin cant ride an escalator and much more. But now, joining us from outside the white house, is Tony with an interwiew with MaitiKilla.
Shamu, theres been a whole heap a rumour going around that you are the only one who would like to see yourself unbanned . Could you comment pan dis?
If I dont get my membership back there will be no marriages for VISA. This mean that many artists wont be able to travel, and it will generally affect reggae music negatively.
I see. How do you respond to the allegations that you inspired people to invent the term "Mampie"?
This interwiew is over. Why cant you go find Bogles killer instead?

 

by chopper
9-27-05
Bombo cleet, its Cracky the duck! I´ll just look the other way and hope him naah see mi.
Yo Chopper! Whagwaaarn mi bredrin! Lissen now, a suppm seeeerious a gwaan right now, so me need fe borrow twenty dalla, u check?
Mi waan four rock!
Laawd Cracky thats the third time your here today! Mi nuh waan see you round here no more, Debo started acting suspiscious when him found a pile a cash when him dig up di yard.
Bwoy Solomon, e´rryting criss. Unu sen on di pipe now!
You one crazy cat, Cracky

 

by chopper
10-04-05
Blessed dis a Puppah Cadbury Blessed. Today me have a special treat fe de I-dem: an exclusive clash between the Masters of Mayo,
A Suburban Showdown in true mumma basement-style. Its the clash to end all clash and Di puppah a go bring dem on and si weh dem say...
NoNiceTime, Formerly of the Cunt Posse sound, now representing Picket Fence International. Wha unu have fi say bout dis clash?
Its been long in the making, it all started when mi heard de other sound selector say LA gear run di cut and mi naah lie Puppah, badman nuh inna dat.
Mad Shim from Goat Style sound, how unu feel bout the competition?
It a go get sticky fe dem right a bout now. Dem cyaan play Boy George like we, and dem no have no Crocodile Dundee intro. Mi bring nuff badman fe fling toilet roll if mi feel crowd biased.

 

by chopper
10-04-05
Crack Powder Head has found a girl on Blackplanet.com
Hmmmmm this looks like my kinda woman, Blessed Dawta. Mi a go send PM and reason with her.
Easy going gyal I love Reggae music, Traveling especially to Jamaica, meeting new people, "tree`s", .....and anything to do with nature.
After a few weeks of intanet "sex" and totally corresponding cultural resonings, they finally meet:
Yo, like blessed mon. I think all races are beautiful. Jah Love.
You white harlot! Dont try mix up inna mi culture! I should have known you was white!
Crack powder head goes home...
Trangbak, baby, Could you fix me those Roti you always do? I had a tough day at the office today.
Sure, Honey. I would do anything for the man that buy me suit, my metrosexual Badman.

 

by chopper
10-05-05
Uncle Solomon, how come them say Cat have nine lives? Does it mean I can survive getting hit by a car?
Good question , Blackie. Me will have to investigate further. I´ll come back tomorrow.
Do you know why them say a cat have nine lives?
Yeah Gi mi five dalla Ec an mi will find out fe you.
Gi mi a rock Nuh, Bad Man! Hey! Do you know why dem say a cat have Nine Lives?
OK, Cracky, numba one: you still owe me for last week, and numba two: Mi will ask JJP.

 

by chopper
10-05-05
First thing, me no love how yu leave me deh pon de moon, but dat a alright, secondly why the fuck dem say Cat have nine lives?
Becah dem love to bow, dem mussi be able fe tek gunshot, unu nuh see it?
Did you find out why?
It is a complete and utter mystery.
Dinner time, Solly, Mommy needs a toungueing.
You can do this Solomon, imagine it is a piece of fish

 

by chopper
10-06-05
Me lub Crack Cocain, Marcus Gravy and beef patty.
this is real tired Drew...did think you said you gave up the fuckery....new man and all that....guess not
Mi No lub white people, specially not people inna Amsterdam.
Go stick your dick in the paper shredder mr office badman
Have you seen the stapler, Tracy?
Go look up inna yuh mumma pussy. And change the fuckin sig already.

 

by chopper
10-10-05
Use the words 'defense', 'defeat' and 'detail' to make a complete sentence.
Di dawg jump over de fence and de feet went before de tail.
A certain staff member at a tourist resort had just started learning German and had been told to practice as much orally as possible.
The staff member decided to start practising with a co-worker who had absolutely no knowledge of the language.
The co-worker did a good deed one day and, in reply, the German practicer said politely "DANKE" (which means 'thank you').
The co-worker, shocked, replied loudly and defensively: "Donkey like yuh puppa!"

 
by chopper, 10-12-05

 

by chopper
10-18-05
DHR remembers the Badman dog...
Even though him chase me and chew off mi ear, and his breath smelled of feces, I cant help but miss him...
Him was di best dog inna di business. Di rock him sell me was neva chipped, and when mi owe, him ongle giv mi cut, him naah stab.
BREAKING NEWS! THE BADMAN DOG HAS PASSED AWAY!
Shet unu claat, Newsbot. Cant you see I´m in mourning...?
.......Gone..........but...... ...the....memory..... .....lives on..........
Him neva talk too much, but his life was in his works... Di diggin of bones, sniffin of punanny an di lickin of him own balls...

 

by chopper
10-18-05
MAWFAKKA! DID I LEAVE THE OFFICE FOR THIS?DIS ANO NINE NITE, A DOG DEM BURY!!!
But the counsellor said we should do more things together.
Yo puppa, mi still feel dis a joke ting.
Blessed dis a di puppah blessed. For so sayeth the lord Jah: If they lie with the sheep as a man lie with a woman they shall be put to death. Blessed.
Dont worry Debo, we can get a new dog, and a new house, and you wont have to pay me for that "Saved by the Bell" DVD.
Its not the same, I just cant get rid of all the memories....

 

by chopper
10-18-05
Debo is reminiscing of his time with the Badman Dog:
Yo doggie! You wanna lick offa dis Ice cream? Quadruple chocolate a dweet!
Sure thing, Me deh pon parole from di Dog Juvie, and me need a front fe me hustlin...
I´m going on my first date. How do I look?
I left a prettier pile on di sidewalk dis marnin.
Did you piss on my Whitesnake Records?
Fuck you! I plead the Fifth! And I would do it again!

 

by chopper
10-18-05
You sure about this? A dog is better than a gun? And you have to sleep inna di bed fe guard di house proper?
Unu neva now seh me fart inna yuh face when u sleep.
Why did I have to stab Da Vernite fah? Him a no badman, and him neva diss me.
Him likkle pet Vietnamese pig a try move in on me market. If you know what is good for you youll shet unu mouth...
Him was di best fren mi ever did have...
Wow, this Hooti and the Blowfish Cd is signed by ALL the band members...!

 

by chopper
10-19-05
Blessed, this a Puppah Cadbury Blessed. Today I have with me the Gold teeth front teeth gun pon teeth Don Gorgon, Ninjaman! Wha unu have fi say?
Blessed Puppah, me love fe seh dat a ole timer like you still around fe educate de yute dem, yu understand?
A lot of people dont know this, but you actually started dee-jaying unda di name "Double Ugly", Nuh true?
Yes I, dem time deh Stone Love only had two speaker boxes with crocus bag on the front and the Sound was played from tube Amplifiers.
There hasn´t been much talk around you since that beating you took at sting 2003. What are you gonna do to reclaim your badman image?
Mi waan go a Iraq pon tour. Mi hear say mi have nuff fans dung deh so. Mi a go see if dem people down deh really mad like dem seh all weh Bin Laden come from.

 

by chopper
10-19-05
PUSSYHOLE CHIMINO, GO A DI SHOP AND BUY MI A SIXPACK!
Gimmi the money, nuh!
Gimmi dat money else mi a go chuck battery acid inna yuh face!!
Take what u need! Please dont hit me!!
I got jumped by a whole gang of Crackheads...
WHE DI RAS? AGAIN? FA DAT U AGO SORT MY PAPERCLIP DEM BY COLOR, AND IRON MI PINK SHIRT DEM.

 

by chopper
10-25-05
Spare some change sir, I just got fired from my job as a mascot.
Go hol yuh Madda cunt, you perpetrating wannabe pussy hole.
Gimme all your money or your Chopped Suey.
Like, No way man. property is theft!
That was so cool.
Spare some change, sir

 

by chopper
10-27-05
.....Nobody....remembers... ...Cpt Reggae any more..... ...it seems..... I will.... ...have... ...to... ...do.... ...something.... about it....
I know, lets have a Arch-enemy audition! Me have the News Bot, but u nuh have none!
Hello, I am Fish Hand. My special powers are: I have a fish instead of a hand.
NEXT!
I am Pork Man, You may remember me from such books as the bible, the qouran and the Torah.
........You........are.....hired....

 

by chopper
11-03-05
Captains log stardate 53.3746. We are stranded at a distant planet call DHR, and supplys are running low.
Captain, there are unnatural levels of fuckery here. It is not wise to linger.
Greetings and salutations! Where can I find your leader and a good amount of Crack-cocaine?
Mhooohohoh! Mi lub fe look nekkid horse cartoon and fuck up people title. Di finga I´m showing is the one I use to suck pussy juice from..
Blessed this a di puppah, blessed. Alton Ellis gi mi special fe free, so wha di fuck yu waan do?
I salute you, Fada Cadbury!

 

by chopper
11-16-05
Daddy, what does Vagina mean?
Vagina is why Daddy cant stay home and watch Football all day.
Mommy, what does Herpes mean?
It means that me and Daddy sleep in separate beds.
Hey Cracky, whats going on? Got any new words for me today? I can pay you...
Yeah, ask dem what bukakke, greek massage and masturbate mean.

 

Happy Birthday Gavin!
Must not eat a cow, must not eat a cow must not eat a cow must not eat a cow
by chopper, 11-28-05

 

by chopper
11-29-05
This is the emergency broadcast system warning all citizen to stay inside as The Drumpan Droid has been sighted. Over to Walter Conchkite :
Groovebot, can you explain how this could be? Didn´t you kill off the Drumpan droid in another award winning comic by Chopper?
Apparently di drumpan droid a one hard metal skunt to beat. It seem dat him Clone himself an Now there are hundreds of him.
What about Captain Reggae? He ´s been nowhere to be seen in the last few months. Does he even care anymore?
Me cyaan gi away any detail, but let me assure di I that I and I have a plan.

 

by chopper
11-30-05
Somewhere in the jungle...
Lissin Captain, there has been a rupture inna di space time continum, and you need to go back in time...
......I....... .......Am.... .....On.......... It....
At the robot factory.
HA HA Captain Reggae cant stop us Ha ha!
As soon as The Original Drumpan droid kills Puppah Cadbury sound back in 1965, Captain Reggae will never have existed.
Back in 1965...
Cadbury man will never defeat me, I am equipped with two I-pods and the latest in I-pod mixing technology...
So mek mi get dis clear, star, U wanna clash di great Puppah Cadbury? Unu naah go last a round, skip.

 

by chopper
12-01-05
In 2005...
This device will propel you back to 1965, but remember, u cyaan buss dance dat dont exist before dem time, or the world could end!
....Sight..... ...seen...... .... ... ...Blessed...
Bwoy, tings a get renk roun here! Da bot deh bias now fuck!
HHHHZZZZZZZ ! ALL HAIL DRUMPAN SOUND!
Captain reggae arrives in Shanty Town,1965
............
Rasclaat dis yah collie weed tough!

 

by chopper
12-01-05
Later that same night the clash dance start.
Mi nuh Know who you is, but yu a fool to test me sound, Alton Ellis just gi mi "Cry Tuff" dubplate !
TALK YOUR LITTLE TALK, YOUNG CADBURY! MY DUBPLATE FROM THE FUTURE CANNOT FLOP!
The crowd is divided...
I travvel all zi way from Stuttgart Germany to si Puppah play!
DRUMPAN SOUND! DRUMPAN SOUND! DRUMPAN SOUND!
...I... ...Need... ...heavy...... ...speakers.... ....and... ...amps...
Mi ave what u need Rude bwoy, satta!

 

by chopper
12-01-05
...Fast... Puppah... ...plug.... in ... ...these...
Blessed Captain! Its an honor!
The crowd make their decision...
Dat metal bredda deh nuh carry weight same way like di Puppah, him and him strange dub done!!!
YOU MIGHT HAVE FUCKED UP MY PLAN DIS TIME CAPTAIN REGGAE, BUT I SHALL RETURN!!!
Captain reggae reach back ah 2005, but smaddy ah inform:
Captain Reggae you re under arrest for copyright violations and Time travel crimes!
.....unu fe.... ...stop... ..di... ..skuntery.... ...Captain....RayGay..

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