All comics by crabby

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by crabby
6-25-01
BARRY ARGUES WITH HIS WIFE
I KNOW YOU KEEP TELLING ME IM THE FATHER BUT I DONT BELIEVE IT!!!
OH MY GOD!!! HOW DID HE FIGURE IT OUT???
BARRY'S CHILDREN LISTEN TO THE ARGUMENT
I WAS BUILT TO BE THE PERFECT CHILD WHY DOESNT DADDY LOVE ME???
DANG BRO, DAD IS ACTING LIKE A TOTAL SQUARE.
TEN YEARS EARLIER
I SHALL BUILD YOU A ROBOT CHILD AND IMPREGNATE YOU WITH MY NATURAL SEED!!!
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE BUDDY FOR $200!!!

 

by crabby
6-25-01
BARRY'S PROBLEMS GET WORSE
SO ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT A DIVORCE???
MAYBE THAT EXACTLY WHAT IM SAYING SUSAN. THIS WHOLE MARRIAGE HAS JUST BEEN A SHAM YOU'VE NEVER LOVED ME!!!
SO SUSAN SEEKS LEGAL COUNCIL
SO YOU CHEATED ON HIM SO WHAT!!!! YOU WERE A PROSTITUTE WHAT DID HE EXPECT!!!! WE'LL TAKE THIS JERK FOR EVERYTHING HE HAS.
SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN TO ME!!!!!!
3 MONTHS LATER
WELL SHE TOOK EVERYTHING. NOW I SLEEP IN THIS TRASH CAN. I LOST MY HOUSE, MY ROBOT SON, AND MY FREAKY BEATNIK SON. OH WHAT A WORLD.
TELL YA WHAT PAL WHY DON'T YOU COME LIVE WITH ME???

 

by crabby
6-25-01
THINGS ARE STARTING TO LOOK UP FOR BARRY
ARE YOU SURE YOUR MOM WONT MIND ME MOVING IN WITH YOU PAL.
I SURE HOPE SO
OF COURSE THINGS ARE BAD FOR BARRY!!!
ummmm.....MOM CAN MY FRIEND MOVE IN???
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!
BARRY IS NO MORE!!!
I'M GUESSING NO ONE CARES ABOUT BARRY ANYMORE.
I HOPE THIS MAKES EVERYONE HAPPY!!!

 

by crabby
6-25-01
CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS PONDER ROBO JESUS 5000'S ALLEGIANCE
YOU THINK ROBO JESUS IS A CONFEDERATE????
THERES NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!!!!!
ROBO JESUS AND JESUS FIGHT THE NEVER ENDING FIGHT
UNION!!!!!!!!!!!!
CONFEDERATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT WAS I THINKING
I WONDER WHAT THE POINT TO THIS WHOLE THING REALLY IS????AND WHERE THE HELL DID ROBO JESUS COME FROM????THIS IS JUST SUB PAR WORK!!!!!!
MOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

by crabby
6-25-01
THEY ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE PUSHED AROUND BY JERKS.
YOUR A DIRTY BITCH AND NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!!!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO DAMN SEXY????
THEY ALWAYS FALL IN LOVE WITH MEN THEY CAN'T HAVE.
IM GAY!!!!!!
YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME.
THEY ALWAYS GO BACK TO THE GUYS WHO PUSH THEM AROUND.
YOUR STILL A DIRTY BITCH AND NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!!!
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO CHANGE???

 

by crabby
6-26-01
BARRY YOU MAY ASK ME ONE QUESTION!!!
HMMMMMM....ONE QUESTION THATS A TOUGH ONE.
ANYTHING YOU LIKE IT DOESNT MATTER.
LETS JUST CHECK MY LIST OF QUESTIONS TO ASK JESUS.
WHY MY MAN HOOD OF COURSE!!!!!
WHATS UNDER THE LOIN CLOTH???

 

by crabby
6-26-01
YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!
YES MY MOTHER IS A BITCH WHAT'S YOUR POINT???
WHY DONT YOU GET THE FUCK OFF MY BALL !!!!!!!!!
THIS ISN'T YOUR BALL.
OH MY FAULT. HAVE A NICE DAY.
NICE GUY.

 

by crabby
6-26-01
SO DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN???
CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A DRINK????
OH MY GOD!!! NOT ANOTHER GAY-BOT.

 

by crabby
6-26-01
WHY HELLO THERE CHILD, WHY SO BLUE???
PERHAPS YOU JUST NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP YOU COMPANY.
WHATS HE SUGGESTING.
ARE YOU BLUE ALL OVER????
ALRIGHT IM OUTTA HERE!!!!

 

by crabby
6-26-01
I LIKE YOUR CHAPS.
THEY GET THE JOB DONE I RECKON.
CAN I SMELL THEM????
EXCUSE ME.
YOU CAN TAKE THIS ANYWAY YOU WANT
MAY I SMELL THEM?????
YOU JUST GOT YOURSELF IN ALOT OF TROUBLE!!!!!

 

by crabby
6-26-01
I BETTER CHECK MY EMAIL.
MY GIRLFRIEND WANTS ME TO MEET HER IN THE FOREST. I BETTER GO OVER THERE.
SHE ALWAYS DOES THIS!!!!!!
YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by crabby
6-26-01
YOU KNOW THIS RELATIONSHIP WONT WORK OUT!!!
IS IT BECAUSE I'M NOT A CANIBAL LIKE YOU??????
NO!!!!!! IVE FOUND SOMEONE ELSE.
ARE YOU LEAVING ME FOR TWO SMALL ASIAN GIRLS???
MEANWHILE..........
YEAH I KNOW HE'S A CANIBAL BUT IS HE CUTE???
LIKE OF COURSE HAVE I EVER BROUGHT OVER AN UGLY CANIBAL FOR A GANGBANG????

 

by crabby
6-26-01
I AM redrobot1-1. AND I WOULD LIKE TO TELL SOME JOKES TODAY!!!!
WHY DID THE MAN-BOT CROSS THE ROAD?????
SO HE COULD PERFORM THE TASK HE WAS PROGRAMMED FOR!!!!!!

 

by crabby
6-26-01
I NEED TO DRINK FLUIDS!!!!!
YOU KNOW YOUR PRETTY SEXY FOR A FREAKY BEATNIK!!!!!
I NEED TO DRINK FLUIDS!!!!!
I GOT SOME FLUIDS FOR YA!!!!!
I DON'T NEED TO DRINK FLUIDS THAT BAD.
AWWWWW....BEATNIKS ARE ALWAYS THE BIGGEST TEASES!!!!

 

by crabby
6-26-01
HELLO THERE CUTIE PIE. NICE ABS!!!!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM!
NO BUT I'D LIKE TO FIND OUT!!!!
ALRIGHT THATS IT!!!!!
OH YEAH, HE'S A FIRE CRACKER, ISN'T HE???

 

by crabby
6-27-01
I JESUS HERE BY DECLARE THAT CAPS SHOULD BE USED AT ALL TIMES!!!!!!!!!
ROBO JESUS AGREES ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME BABY!!!!!!!!
Waaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! I don't want CAPS!!!! I want everyone to use proper punctuation at all times!!!! Waaaaaaa!!!!!!
Yeah!! If the South would have used proper punctuation we would have won the war!!!!!! Damn that Lincoln!!!!!
THE ALL POWERFUL AND WISE dogonball1 DEMANDS THAT WE ALL USE CAPS!!!!!!!
WHY I RECKON THAT ALL CAPS IS A GOOD IDEA!!!!!

 

by crabby
6-27-01
I'll never learn to be a BEATNIK!!!!! I should just give up trying!!!
YOU GOTTA BE REALLY THIRSTY IF YOU WANNA BE A TRUE BEATNIK MAN!!!!! BEATNIKS ALSO USE NOTHING BUT CAPS SO DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!!!
I'M SORRY TOBOR BUT YOU CAN NEVER BE A BEATNIK YOUR JUST TO SQUARE MAN!!!!!!
Is there no place that I Tobor can be excepted?
I JUST DON'T THINK YOU WOULD MAKE A GOOD BEATNIK MAN

 

by crabby
6-27-01
I just don't have what it takes to be a Beatnik. What was i thinking even coming to this Beatnik orientation?
TO BE A BEATNIK YOU GOTTA BE REALLY THIRSTY MAN!!!!! ALSO BEATNIKS ALWAYS TYPE IN NOTHING BUT CAPS AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT LITTLE BRO!!!!!
I'M SORRY TOBOR BUT YOU COULD NEVER BE A BEATNIK YOUR JUST TO SQUARE MAN!!!!
Is there anywhere that I Tobor can be excepted?
YOU HAVE POTENTIAL BUT YOUR MISSING SOMETHING AND I JUST CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT MAN!!!!!!
Try hitting me on the head!

 

by crabby
6-28-01
Hello JESUS.
Please DrPedantic just leave me alone!
I think I'll just stay here and wait for you to make a mistake and then correct you, there by making you feel inferior to me!!!
Go eat some NUTS!!!!
A peanut is not a nut.
I got crucified for people like this!!!!!

 

by crabby
6-28-01
There's a power within me there's an empire down below where energy and miracles are free and often flow
Right, just who is that guy you got there with you???
He lives down by the furnace And he makes the young kids nervous He tells everybody to call him Tony But he smells like oil, and his ass is bony
Oh i get it so he's a janiator huh????
You wanna get your ass kicked or something smart ass!!!! Your killing the whole mystique i was trying to build up!!!!
Why don't we take this to the infamous panel 4 if you got a problem!!!

 

by crabby
6-28-01
Hey crabby your so sexy and level headed, what's your secret to success?
HUH??? Well for one you have to refrain from any dick sucking that's very important!!!! Typing in all CAPS most of the times also helps!!!
Does it help if your thirsty alot like a true BEATNIK always is???
HUH??? I don't know I drink fluids, but I'm not in a constant state of thirst!!!! I hope that helps you out THIRSTY BEATNIK.
I to wish I could be like you.
HUH??? Well your gonna have to get off that cross for starters!!!!

 

by crabby
6-29-01
As your lord and savior I demand to know why you have abandoned CAPS!!!! That was a very important part of your charm.
HUH??? I don't suck dick!!!
That whole thing has grown stale don't you think???
But jesus everyone makes fun of me when I use all CAPS.
They will make fun of you know matter what my child.
WELL IF JESUS WANTS CAPS THEN JESUS GETS CAPS!!!!!!!

 

by crabby
6-29-01
HELLO EVERYONE!!!!! OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS PEOPLE HAVE USED LOVEABLE BONGO HERE TO PORTRAY ME IN COMICS!!!!
THATS FINE BY ME BUT I FIND IT A LITTLE BIT DISRESPECTFUL TO Amazed Porno Bunny!!!!
SO I'D LIKE TO MADE FUN OF AS THIS CHARACTER IF IT ISN'T TO MUCH TROUBLE!!!!! NO ONE USES THIS GUY!!!!!

 

by crabby
6-29-01
Hey look JESUS I got a Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis!!!!
What does it say my child???
It says i shouldn't worry about her shes with GOD now.
Well you know that god hes one Gin Soaked Boy.
$29.00 for a fisting??? I'm GOD dammit don't I get a discount or something???
Maybe you should go talk to Barbra Bush if you want a cheap fisting!!! Or you could try DrPedantic i hear hes really into getting fisted!!!!!

 

by crabby
6-29-01
DrPedantic being the know-it-all that he is would rather have a character that represents his personality more than just a lame scientist.
This doesn't look like me at all when will someone get it right?????
Seeing as how DrPedantic enjoys nuts in his mouth he's better suited to be a squirrel.
This is so much better!!!!
I DON'T SUCK DICK!!!!
Well that makes one of us!!!!

 

by crabby
6-29-01
HUH???? Look DrPedantic I don't want any more trouble lets just put this all behind us. We must run un speakable horror is coming our way!!!!
Such a simpleton you are, Crabby. Are you illiterate, or simply feigning ignorance?
HUH???? I don't have to time to argue I gotta get outta here!!!!
I wonder if even the powers of Captain Monosyllabic can save you?
BLAH!!!! I TOBOR SHALL CORN HOLE YOU!!!!!
Get it right!

 

by crabby
7-01-01
You are one sexy robot!!!! Why don't you join my stable of HO-BOTS!!!!
I ALREADY GOT A PIMP SO WHY DON'T YOU STEP OFF!!!
i got 42 Ho-BOTS just like you, don't think your special!!!!
ALRIGHT YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!!
HUH???? I don't suck dick!!!!
Alright I don't know where that came from so I'll just leave you alone.

 

by crabby
7-01-01
DrPedantic ruins a confederates day!!!!
You know what us here confederates have a whole lotta trouble tripping over our dicks!!!!!
Thats physically impossible!!!! However I'd still like to see it!!!!
DrPedantic ruins Gabes day!!!!!!
I keep getting all these letters in the mail from porno sites I've been to.....
Actually pal all those letters have been from me!!!!
DrPedantic makes the reaper very uncomfortable!!!!!!
Your time on this plane of existence is up DrPedantic!!!!!
Why don't we go back to your place first and you can show me whats under that robe!!!!!

 

by crabby
7-01-01
Thank GOD that theres no gigantic Red Robot around to CORNHOLE ME!!!
Wait who are you???? I don't like that look on your face!!!
I'm getting outta here!!!
TOBOR HEARD ABOUT YOUR USB PORT TOBOR WANTS TO TRY IT OUT!!!!!!!!

 

by crabby
7-01-01
Hey what do you got there????
It's a letter from my mom. She wants to meet me.
I haven't seen here in so long. What should i do????
Go see her whats the worst that could happen???
Mom it's great to see you again!!!!
MOO!!!!!!!!!

 

by crabby
7-06-01
Well it looks like he's dead. Show me to the next patient.
.......
Where am I the last thing I remember was passing out at 31 flavors, that was right after I boinkedbest friend's mother's sister's neighbor's cousin's aunt. How did I die???
Tainted cooch!!!! I will now take you to meet your maker???
HAHAHA I am the lord!!!!!
Hmmm..... I always thought you would look more like Billy Dee Williams!!!! Do you at least enjoy the smooth taste of Colt 45?????

 

by crabby
7-06-01
I Dr. Light have claimed the scientist character for myself!!!! Put that in your pipe and smoke it DrPedantic!!!!
Curses!!!!!!!!!!
But I was the scientist way before you were even around!!!!!
Jesus said that I Dr. Light shall now be the scientist!!!! Go ask him yourself.
AND SO....
Yes my child, that damn dirty make a wish foundation gave Wirthling his last wish which was you remain as a squirrel for the rest of eternity!!!!!
Get it right!!!!

 

by crabby
7-07-01
So thats it huh doc I'm gonna die and theres nothing I can do about???
I know it's hard little camper. According to these X-Rays your clothes just got to clean at WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH and your dirt filled body rejected them.
Damn that WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH but you have to aadmit there prices can't be beat!!!!! I just hope they have WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASHES in the after life!!!!
Why if I knew the answer to that I'd kill myself right now!!!!!
According to this map the WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH should be right here.
WELCOME TO HELLS WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH!!!!! GIVE ME YOUR CLOTHES AND SHUT THE HELL UP!!! YOU GOTTA DRY THEM ON YOUR OWN WE ONLY WASH HERE!!!!!

 

by crabby
7-07-01
well wirthling is dead!!!! How sad, but at least he'll be reincarnated as whatever he wants!!!!!
Oh NO I'm a donkey!!!!! I've been screwed by being turned into the thing I most love screwing!!!!
Hey look heres a donkey to screw!!!!!!
Please be gentle.
No can do!!!! I'm into hard-core donkey sodomy!!!!

 

by crabby
7-08-01
Hi there I'm Comic Strip Creators Wilfred Brimley look alike. I love oatmeal!!!!
I'm hardly ever used!!!! How could you guys not make crazy canibal comics come on!!!!
It really sucks being the token black guy around here noone ever uses me!!!!!
For such a sexy bird I'm hardly ever used at all!!!! Anyone up for a little bird sodomy I think the time has come to give the donkey a rest.
The gabe WATCHMEN characters deserve there time in the sun make it happen people!!!!!
MOO!!!!!!!! I'm hardly ever used around here. Come on people I make an awesome cow substitue!!!!!

 

by crabby
7-09-01
Well I'm glad I finally finished writing my last will and testiment.
I'm required to be here by the rules of this contest!!!!!!
Oh how sweet wirthling left me a small asian girl!!!!!
Oh how sweet wirthling left me his favorite ass humping donkey!!!!!!!
Why did wirthling leave me, Wilfred Brimley all these nude photos of himself!!!!!! I'm disgusted and slightly aroused.
WILFRED BRIMLEY JUST THE MAN I WAS LOOKING FOR HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO COMMERCIALS FOR WASH AND WAHS MILLENIUM WASH!!!!!!!

 

by crabby
7-09-01
THE WAY WITH THE RAG IS A LAY IN THE BAG!
You know I don't think that catchphrase is gonna catch on. I have to go back to the doctor to make sure my ear infection is getting better.
I DON"T SUCK DICK!!!!! Go to WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH!!!!
Now theres some catchphrases that I can see people using. Well i better go to the doctor now.
So doc is my ear all healed now?
Well your ears all better but that nail you just hammered into your head should kill you.

 

by crabby
7-10-01
wirthling finds himself lost in the country side.....
I doubt any of us are going to get out of here alive.
Oh, you should never doubt what no one is sure about.
He died from an allergic reaction to clown sperm. He was covered in it!
You killed wirthling!!!!!!
And so shines a good deed, in a weary world. A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

 

by crabby
7-10-01
HEY DID YOU HEAR CRABBY WON COMIC CONTEST 42!!!!!!!!
THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY WERE BOTH SCREAMING FOR NO REASON!!!!!! I GUESS THAT ALSO EXPLAINS WHY I DRPEDANTIC AM A SQUIRREL!!!!!!!
THIS IS TERRIBLE I CAN'T BELIEVE GABE WOULD LET THIS HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!
I HAVE TO BE THE SCIENTIST, WHY DOESN'T CRABBY GET IT I CAN'T BE THE SQUIRREL!!!!!!! WHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! I JUST HOPE IT ENDS SOON!!!!!!!
GET IT RIGHT!!!!!!!!

 

by crabby
7-12-01
In the short time I've been here I've been made fun of and told I don't exist. I don't even know ladyjdotnet.
RAAR!!!!!!! TOBOR CORN HOLE NEWBIE!!!
Great now I've been cornholed.
HUH??? Hey newbie just so you know I don't suck dick!!!! Got that, oh yeah and don't forget to do all you washing at WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH!!!!!!
That was easily the most annoying thing I've ever encountered in my whole life.
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

 

by crabby
7-13-01
I'm feeling blue.

 

by crabby
7-13-01
I'm feeling blue.

 

by crabby
7-13-01
How about Dr. Crappy contest.

 

by crabby
7-13-01
Fire Boobs.

 

by crabby
7-13-01
Rocket boobs.

 

by crabby
7-13-01
I miss DrPedantic damn Dr. Light for catching on and killing him.
I'm glad that gabe punk finally got off me.

 

by crabby
7-13-01
Jesus boobs

 

by crabby
7-17-01
I gotta get myself pumped up for this.
Were live here at the X-Games where Dingle Smith from the UK is preparing for the nail slam.
He will be using a Fairmont Hydraulic Hammer. He is also wearing there corporate logo on his back. I think he's ready.......
The judges have given him a 96.50 and with that he will move into first place passing Canadas Pike Olsen.

 

by crabby
7-17-01
This is some X-Treme bird humping going on here! Good thing I use Double Action brand condoms.
Double Action condoms electronically tested and manufactured to EN600 and BS3704 1996 requirements. Certified to ISO 9002, EN 46002. CE 120
Now the bird wants a piece of my lucious ass. Godd thing he's using those X-treme Double Action condons.
Little does he know I only use sheepgut condoms.

 

by crabby
7-19-01
Yo Yo Yo what up kid! Yo boyyyy your booty is kicking, dat ass be looking tight yo.
Oh my god it's Sir Mix Alot!
Bitch you must be tripping PJ Harvey is in the house Yo. I be kicking it old school for you punk asses on the ones and twos and none of ya'll be giving me props what up wit dat B.
I think that Cigarette that gabe slipped me may have been laced with some sort of marijuana.
Bitch i'ma bout to tap dance all over yo nasty ass face. Don't trip though B cause I ain't got nothing but love for ya!
When did PJ Harvey turn into such a bitch!

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