All comics by dooshy

 

Man, you know you be jealous of my hair, son!
Perhaps. But it is I who holds the bag of testicals.
by dooshy, 12-06-06

 

I love God more!
No, I love God more!
by dooshy, 12-06-06

 

Yeah, that's it. Now tell me that you lurve me.
I hate when he smokes the acid.
by dooshy, 12-06-06

 

Guess who just OD'ed!
Don't say me. Don't say me.
by dooshy, 12-06-06

 

Hey, honey. I think you should come watch this.
by dooshy, 12-06-06

 

by dooshy
12-06-06
White chicks are the best. You come up the drain pipe when they trying to shower and they get all hysterial, say some crazyass nonsense, like, "Oh my Gawd, Harry..."
"Oh my Gawd-oh my gawd! Harry get the fire extinguisher!" And I'm like; fire extinguisher? Whatcha think, I'm gonna crawl up your ass and

 

by dooshy
12-06-06
Know who cracks me up? Fruit Fly. Fruit Fly be talking with that lisp, all, "You haven't lived until you've crapped in someone's Zinfindel. Sonoma Region, preferably an odd numbered vinatge."
I'm just kidding. I love Fruit Fly. Fruit Fly be doing the hell out of my taxes right now. He all like, "Sorry Beetle, but Martinis can not be deducted." And I'm like, but I use them in my act."
And he says, "yeah, how's that?" And I say, I put the olive on my head. Ohh!

 

by dooshy
12-06-06

 

by dooshy
12-06-06
Mariah's coming.
To the Best Buy on my block.
Curbside sleeping bag.

 

by dooshy
12-07-06
How many angry blind men does it take to screw in a light bulb.
Gosh... could be... 3... I dunno, maybe a dozen or two? A baker's dozen is thirteen, I know that... Hm; tough one... How many bakers does it take to screw in a...
Hm. Angry blind guys? Gee, I guess it depends on their nationality.... and the wattage of bulb... Heck; I'm stumped! Tell us; how many angry blind men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What?! You see that I'm blind mother-fucker! How dare you ask me that? I should kick your sighted ass all the way back to sensitivity training. "How many blind men..?" What the fuck is that?!

 

by dooshy
12-11-06
I done wish I could figure out what to eat fer lunch... Any ideas, Canary?
Baked Vagina.
Dit... but, what..? Hm... Baked Vagina. That sounds like some tasty Martha Stewart type shit! You got any in that brown, paper bag Canary?
I'm not a canary. I'm a chicken.
Chicken? No, I'll just have some of that there Baked Vagina you was just speaking on.
How 'bout a Shit Sandwich?

 

by dooshy
12-12-06
It was perhaps the worst business model of all time...
A well-intentioned, but ultimately unmitigated failure...
A men-for-women whorehouse that focused on role playing and was spearheaded by a drunk C.E.O. who once lost his job for shitting on a flight attendent.
We're a new kind of company. We're a "people first" kind of company and it's our pleasure to serve you!

 

by dooshy
12-12-06
Know who I'm sick of; blind mother fuckers. No one ever makes jokes about blind mother fuckers. God, fucking forbid! Well, not anymore!
How many blind mother fuckers does it take to screw in a mother fucking light bulb..? I dunno. But it better be like 50,000 watts cause those mother fuckers can't see shit.
You know, I've never found this asshole funny.

Showing page 1.