All comics by elmnt

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by elmnt
4-04-09
After rigorous amounts of preparation, two heroes, Kaela and Vincent, find themselves amongst rubble in a time far from their own...
Where the hell are we?!
Well...the time travel worked...
I'll be right back...
OK, I need to take this suit off anyways
...
HA!

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
*Whew*, glad I got that out of the way. Anyways...
?
GET US OUT OF HERE!
Erm...about that...

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
You'd better not say what I think you're about to say...
What? That it's actually quite easy for us to get out of this time period?
...
Alright then, let's go!
And so our story begins...
You're sick, you know that?
Yeah... :D

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Back at Vincent's apartment...
So what was the point of the first three strips?
I have absolutely no idea...let's go inside...
You know, I'll bet the author just didn't really know what he was going to do with this comic
You're probably right...
He might've just changed his mind about the direction of the story. Or maybe he wanted to introduce some new characters
Speaking of...

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Hey, Siggy
Yo! Vince, my man! How'd you like my time machine?
Actually, we ended up travelling to some post-apocalyptic city...
Ouch! That's harsh, bro...You know, I've got some new 'stuff' in my van that might cheer you up
Nah, I'm good. Say, where's Krieg?
Oh, K-Dog's in his room. I gotta run, man. Captain Jack's calling my name...

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Krieg! There you are! What's up, man?
How the hell did you get in here? I boarded up the door when I heard you got back...
So, anything interesting happen while Kaela and I were gone?
The power of Cthulhu compells you! Get the fuck out of my room!
What we have here is a lack of communication...
Yeah, I missed you too. You know, I don't see why you insist on living in this closet. It's so cramped in here...
Only when you're around, imbecile....

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
So, did the readers get to meet all the characters?
No, not yet. Hold on...
Hey, Griff
Hey, Vince
Now they've met everyone.

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Alright, well I'm gonna head home. See you later, Vin!
kbai
That's a sweet piece of booty you got there, bro. You're a lucky man
Yeah, she's pretty nice. Sweet personality, caring, understanding...
Are you gay?

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
So a lot of you are probably wondering why this webcomic is entitled 'Zark'. Well I'm here to explain that for you.
You see, Zark is Vincent and me's favorite online role playing game. I'm usually always on, and Vince plays a lot when he's not hanging out with Kaela.
Kaela even has a Zark account as well. Although her character kinda sucks since she's a girl and all...

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Welcome to ZARK. Please enter your username and password.
Username: ScanHammer Password: **********
Loading...please wait....
...
2 hours later...
A server error has occured. Please re-enter your username and password.

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Welcome to ZARK. Please enter your username and password.
Username: dstrukt0r Password: ***********
Loading...please wait...
...
Welcome to ZARK. Please enter your username and password.
I'm out.

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Welcome to ZARK. Please enter your username and password.
I don't even play this game
I said...Please enter your username and password.
I'll show you password!
Username: EatThatYouMother Password: **********

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Welcome to ZARK. Please enter your username and password.
Username: CozGirl Password: *********
Thank you. Your character is now loaded. Enjoy playing :)
Huh, I guess the server is working after all...
Meanwhile...
AAAAAAAGH!!! WORK DAMMIT!!!

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Somewhere in the world of Zark...
Hey, Griff. I see the server's still screwy.
Yep...although I think Kaela managed to find a way on.
.....
.....
This is gonna be a long week...
Don't even get me started...

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
At Kaela's house...
Hey babe, what's up?
Nothin' much, I see you gave up cosplay.
Only temporarily. The Valkyrie armor was getting a bit heavy.
I see. Watcha doin' there?
Oh, just playing Zark. The server's been really fast for me lately, so I've gotten a lot of playing in....Vin? You OK there?
fmylife

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Somewhere in Zark's forests...
Hey, Kaela. What's up?
Oh, hey Vin. I was just levelling up my magic. Watch this!
ACK!
Oops...
Never, EVER, do that again...
*Teehee* :3

 

by elmnt
4-04-09
Meanwhile, in RL...
...She killed me. I can't believe Kaela just killed me!
LOL! I just killed Vinny! He's gonna be soo pissed :3 Well, I'd better rest my character for now...
Hey Siggy, do you think Vince will mind us spying on his girlfriend's avatar while she sleeps?

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
Oh, hey Kaela. I was just about to go run some errands.
Ooh, well I just came by to apologize for killing you in Zark yesterday.
It's no big deal. I didn't lose much of my progress anyways.
I feel bad though...can I make it up to you somehow?
Well....
...No.

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
In the world of Zark, at the Elven Fortress...
Hey, Vince. I see you revived your character.
Yeah, although I'm pretty much back to where I started. Say, Griff, can I ask you something?
Sure, what's on your mind?
Well...Kaela and I have been dating for two years now, but she still won't sleep with me. How do I get her in bed?
...You're asking the guy who sits in an empty room playing online fantasy games all day.
I'm desperate.

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
Check it out, it's Vince's computing machine, man!
Don't touch me.
I've always wondered what was so fun about that Zorko game or whatever it's called...
I said don't touch me!
Maybe I should like, make an account or something.
Take one step closer, I dare you.

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
*sigh* Welcome to ZARK. Please enter your username and password...
Username: PeaceBro Password: **********
Loading...Please wait...Rendering world.
Coolio, bro!
Welcome to ZARK. As a new player, I urge you to turn back while you still have the chance.
It's really that bad, huh?

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
Umm...Siggy? Is that you?
Oh hey, Kaela. How'd you know this was my character?
Well, your username is 'PeaceBro'...
I see...wanna join my clan, sister? I can show you the headquarters if you want.
Er...I think I'd like to see what this clan of yours is like before I commit to anything...take me to it!

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
In the world of Zark, Siggy's base...
Well, here we are. What do you think?
This looks like Zark when the server's down...
Yeah, I didn't feel like paying The Man to play this game so I hacked a private server...it's a bit glitchy, to say the least.
Right...is there anyone else in your party besides yourself?
Hehe, of course! I'll introduce you. Right this way, milady.
Oh boy...

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
That's them over there.
Hello there, lass! I'm Pappi the Scottish Hobo! Spare some change?
I'm good...
And I'm the Microsoft Paperclip!
I'm out.

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
What the -
I see you're trying to leave. Would you like some help with that?
No! I don't want any help with that! Get out of my way!
CTHULHU DOES NOT APPROVE OF YOUR EXIT.
Wait! Don't go! I'm sorry! Dammit...why do the ladies always run from Cthulhu...

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
I have GOT to get out of here...
Hey, Kaela.
DON'T TOUCH ME PAPPI!
AAGH!
Wait....Vinny?! Is that you?? You're in Siggy's clan too?
Correction: I WAS in Siggy's clan. That is, until you killed me...again.

 

I can't wait to see the expression on their faces when I tell them I accidentally killed their son during the operation!
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

Now where did I leave my shoes...
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

The nail goes on the sign before your forehead, idiot.
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

Bug-spray, shmug-spray. Now where did that little bugger run off to...
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

I'm sorry for the way I treated you...
It won't make any difference now, I've found someone else. Now, do you want a medium or a large?
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

I just had my period!
I see you're menstrating in the house of God. Would you like some help with that?
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

This man just got Rick Roll'd...and that's terrible.
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

Garth thinks he's riding a horse...and that's terrible.
Garth, I don't see any horse...
Giddyap!
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

My work here is done...
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

This man is fighting a pencil...and that's terrible.
Go fuck a sharpener!
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

And together we can defeat the Spiderma-AAH! AAGH! NOOOOOoooo...
I shall now harvest you and create a diabolical sand-box of doom!
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
So lemme get this straight. You want me to sign here AND pay you $3 for shipping just so I can get that lowsy letter there?
Umm...yes.
And you're sure about that?
Not necessarily.

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
Sign here, please.
Oh! I'm sorry, young lad. I seem to have misplaced my pen.
What the fuck did you just say?!
Oh dear!
Thank you, ma'am.
*arghlgrg*

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
Psst! Kid! You wanna buy some wit-shitters?
Wit-shitters? What's that?
Here, I'll show you.
You know, man...I think I'm totally starting to get you...you're definitely my favorite dragon in the history of forever...I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, man...
It only costs ten bucks a pop.

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
*sigh*...Kaela managed to kill me again in Zark...
That sucks, bro. But guess what? No time for guessing, my girlfriend's coming over!
What?? Yeah right, you don't have a girlfriend
Oh! She's here now! Come on, I'll let you meet her.
Hey! I'm Jessie. Nice to meet you :)
Why am I not surprised...

 

Sex just doesn't always work out...
Let's never, ever do that again...
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

Crooked lawyers are crooked...
It...was...not...me...
OK, now recite what you're going to tell the judge again.
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

This scene is just disturbing...
by elmnt, 4-05-09

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
Mr. MailSham! The tests are in, you have cancer!
Cancer, eh?
:D
.....
:(

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
One the dirty streets of some city...
Oh god please don't come near me...
Ooh! What have we here? A thingamajig!
*sigh*...Welcome to ZARK. Please enter your username and password.
Erm...Username: PappiMcGee Password: **********
Thank you. Rendering character and maps....please wait......
Where the fuck am I...?

 

by elmnt
4-05-09
Apart from her passion for cosplaying, Kaela also loves animals. Therefore, she has a few. Would you like to meet them? Too bad, you're going to anyways...
Oi, I'm Snuffles, the cutest of all the animals. I just looove having people pet me.
Hey there, Snuffles! Who's a widdle cutesy bunny!
Take on step closer and you're dead, bitch.
I was being sarcastic, you know.

 

by elmnt
4-06-09
Aaw, look! It's Kaela's bird, Twitters! Isn't he just the cutest little thing?
*sob*

 

by elmnt
4-08-09
*knock knock*
Finally! He's here!
You called...
Good! You're here! I have a huge favor to ask of you. You see I've got this rabbit...
I hate animals.
Wait! You haven't heard the best part yet!

 

by elmnt
4-19-10
Monopoly!
For the last time, I'm not the Monopoly Guy.
......
Besides, that's not even what you say when you win the game.
...Yahtzee.
*sigh*...

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