All comics by foolweasel

 

by foolweasel
6-23-08
So I was looking over your application to become one of Satan's minions. I do like your qualifications, but...
I need to ask you one question before I give the final go-ahead on this.
Shoot...
Does this sword make my ass look fat?

 

by foolweasel
6-23-08
...and this will be your cube right here. Any questions?
Does the campus include any employee facilities like a gym or a billiard room?
I can understand the confusion
...but this isn't Microsoft.

 

by foolweasel
6-23-08
So how are you enjoying your first day?
It's not so bad. I've had much worse jobs before. Besides, it beats eternal torture in the pits of fire and brimstone.
True. Well, watch your back. It seems like everyone here will do and say anything to get ahead.
Thanks for the info.
Later that day...
How's the new guy doing so far?
Depends. Does his job description include dealing crack and running dice games out of the storage room?

 

by foolweasel
6-23-08
I really need to get my job back. Times are tough and you've seen how bad the economy is right now.
What the? *sniff*sniff*sniff*
If I don't find something soon, I'll be forced to take social assistance. I have far too much pride to take such drastic measures.
Pardon me, but what the hell is that smell?
I had roadkill for breakfast, and I might have soiled myself at some point.
You were saying something about pride?

 

by foolweasel
6-23-08
We need to lay off a staff member to free up some payroll for the raise I'm giving myself next month. Recommendations?
That administrative assistant of yours might be a good cut.
She's condescending, has a bad attitude, and is generally an unproductive employee.
Shot you down, eh?
Something about "playing for the other team."

 

by foolweasel
6-24-08
I'm engaged in a dilemma of extreme proportions.
On one hand, there is the drive to fulfill a desire that has pained me since the day I first realized it.
However, to engage in the gratification of this desire would mean the possible end of a personal relationship.
*sigh*
Screw it. I'm totally going to do your mom.

 

by foolweasel
6-25-08
I had a dream about my ex last night. She referred to me as "a slow-processing dickhead."
Oh yeah?
Figures. Even in my dreams, she's both a superhot nerd...
...and a total bitch.

 

by foolweasel
6-26-08
Later...
...no, I'm pretty sure the word was "immolate."

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