All comics by gduya896

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by gduya896
12-25-07
Spend the day outside Mom says...
See the world and all its glory Mom says...
Wow, I never seen Billy run so fast...Get him Mr. Robinson!

 

by gduya896
12-25-07
How's the swingset your pops made??
It hangs too low so it's hard to ride...
That's what she said!
Huh?! I gotta go inside now...

 

by gduya896
12-25-07
Can't wait for our date tonight...Hey, what's that on your monitor??
It's practice for our date tonight...
But it's just a passed out girl getting fondled by some creep.
It's my red tie isn't it...I can take it off!!

 

by gduya896
12-25-07
So women will find me cute after taking this shot??
A New York Minute later...
Hmm... you can say that!
OK. I'm ready...
I should have spent more time thinking this over...

 

by gduya896
12-25-07
Darling, I have something to tell you before we get married.
You slept with my brother didn't you !
I never slept with your brother... I used to be a man.
Well, our love is strong enough to get passed this.
He took it pretty well... Maybe I should tell him I had sex with his sister before I had my sex change.

 

by gduya896
12-25-07
I couldn't find the nuts you wanted sir.
That'll teach you. Tomorrow better be a different story...
Anything you say sir.
The Following Day...
I guess I have to crack open the baby sized nuts that rest below your waist.
Oh man... I needed those.

 

by gduya896
12-25-07
Asian guy to Asian guy...You know why we don't get women?
Not really, no.
Plain and simple, we lack the confidence.
And all this time I thought it was my baby-sized wang...

 

by gduya896
12-25-07
That last Vodka Red Bull was too strong...
20 Minutes Later...
Hey... Let's go back to my place...
who are....OK!
2 Minutes Later...
Honey...where'd you go... I have the Red Bull Vodka you wanted...honey...

 

by gduya896
12-26-07
Now class, I'll be your substitute teacher for the remainder of the year...any questions?
You're much prettier than Mr. Kowolski!
Uh...thank you Billy...Billy, get your hands out of your...
Now I know why Mr. Kowolski isn't coming back...
Can I get a tissue...

 

by gduya896
12-27-07
I'm on a luck streak lately. I'm gonna play the lotto...Want to get in with me??
You'll never win...The odds are so bad.
So it's a no...
A big fat NO!
The following week...
You hear about Steve...he won the lotto. He's in Jamaica right now livin it up.
Mutha fucka...

 

by gduya896
12-27-07
So I met this girl but her friend was a DUFF, Designated Ugly Fat Friend. I had to make good with the DUFF to get to the friend...
Oh I hear ya...I know all about that! Tell me more about it tonight!
Later That Night...
Meet Tabitha my wife...
Okay, where is she?
OMG...It's THE DUFF....
Hey I remember you...

 

by gduya896
12-27-07
Hey Billy, Now is a better time than never to experiment...
umm...
Mom...Me and Britney really need separate rooms....

 

by gduya896
12-27-07
Hellz Yea Beezie..Fo' sho doh...jus hit me on mah hip shawtee...
Like that shit ever works...
hmm... hey yo baby...I like yo boots wid da furr.. ya heard...
Yo game is wack...Get outta mah face...
Hey Beezie...That boy foul...you heard meh....
Fo sho...let me bah you a drank!

 

by gduya896
12-27-07
I found a pretty innovative way to masterbate...First you get a hammer, then...
You know what, I think I'll pass on this one...
Many Lonely Nights Later...
WTF, internet connection down again...
Following Day...
Hammer...check..Then what...?

 

by gduya896
12-27-07
In Hell...
I only downloaded a couple music albums...I don't see the harm in that.
The Best of John Tesh and Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits...
I stand corrected...

 

Attn Whore!
Mental Note: Never leave dog alone with girlfriend...
by gduya896, 12-27-07

 

by gduya896
12-27-07
So you're telling me...I'm your father?!
That's what mom says.
Long Pause...
Can I have 20 bucks...

 

Metro
For the last time, it's a Man Bag....
Don't let your "Man Bag" hit you in the vagina on the way out...
by gduya896, 1-09-08

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