All comics by l0zor

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
I hate you jesus
you can run but you can't hide

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
I just killed jesus.
jesus isn't real.
I'm telling you, I just killed jesus christ.
And I'm telling you jesus never existed.
Why should I believe you anyway? You're the easter bunny.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
I just killed jesus and a boy.
Oh wow, I hope you won't kill me too.
Don't worry, as long as you don't annoy me you will be safe.
Oh that's good to know.
Btw I thought jesus wasn't real.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
I just killed jesus and some children.
I did it because they annoyed me!
I see your point.
Why are you telling me this? I'm a dog wearing underwear while balancing on a ball.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
I just killed jesus, some children and a dog.
Why so violent? Can't we all just live together in peace?
No. They were annoying me!
It doesn't take much to piss you off does it?
That's right nigger.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
I just killed jesus, some children, a dog and a nigger.
Wait, why am I talking to a snowman?
phew...

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
I just killed jesus, some children, a dog and a nigger.
Hippies sure bleed a lot.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
I just killed jesus, some children, a dog, a nigger and a hippie.
And uhhh....
Maybe I shouldn't have taken the acid from that dead hippie.
You got that right.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
Bunnyman, I've heard that you've been killing a lot of people.
This isn't good. I will use my magic to send you to a place where you can do no harm.
What the fuck?
Welcome to Africa bitch.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
Well... Here I am in Africa...
The people must be very different here, living closer to nature and in touch with their ancestors.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
Hello son, I am the missionary priest of this village. What brings you here?
I killed jesus, some children, a dog, a nigger and a hippie.
You've got to be shitting me.
Nope. Prepare to die!

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
Uga buga buga wuga buga.
Wuga uga buga buga uga.
I think I'm starting to like it here.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
Say it... Just say the words...
Uga buga.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
Well, slaughtering an entire african village was fun. But I'm going to catch the next plane out of here.
Hey nigger! Which way to the airport?
That way.
Why were you pointing in that direction before I asked? Did you know what I was going to ask you?
You didn't think I was hailing hitler did you?

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
Goddamn, it sure is a long walk to the airport.
Hey elephant. I've got some good money for you if you can take me to the airport.
Sure, no problem man.
Maybe I'll even suck your dick and tickle your ass with my tongue.
Ooh shut up and start sucking me you silly boy.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
Well, here I am at the airport. Let's see when the next plane goes.
Meanwhile on the airplane...
ALLAHU AKBAR!!
Oh fuck it. I'll take the boat then.

 

by l0zor
1-07-10
Well, here I am on the boat. I'm going home at last.
Maybe I can finally get some peace here and...
Hello, I will be your entertainment this evening.

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
He should have seen it coming.

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Hello young man, what brings you to this cruiseship?
I killed jesus, some children, a dog, a nigger, a hippie, a priest and an entire african village.
Oh that's nice.
It sure was!
phew...

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Aaah... The open sea... Watching the waves bounce up and down... Breathing the fresh air...
And uhhh... Pirates..?
You've got to be shitting me.
Nope. Hand over the booty matey!

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
You think you can just take over this boat?
Aye, that's correct. My men have already killed all of the crew members.
Think I could join your group of pirates?
Har har har!! I've got no use for a man wearing a pink bunnysuit!
Well, I had to ask...
Uhhh...

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Rraaahh! What happened to our captain?
I killed him. I will be your new captain now! Set sail to America!
Aye aye captain!
Well, that went pretty smooth.

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Aaah... I always wanted to be a pirate. This journey is pretty cool.
I sure hope those pirates know where they are sailing.

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Captain, it seems we're lost. We have no idea where we are going.
Well, are you just going to stand there or are you going to say something back?
Hush.

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Captain, it seems a foreign ship has attacked us and their men are now coming onboard!
Well, are you just going to stand there or are you going to say something back?

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Boy, those pirates sure were dumb. Now let's see what these foreign attackers are made off.
Uhhh... Vikings?
You've got to be shitting me.
Nej. Förbereda sig för att dö!

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Säg mig var du gömmer guld och kanske jag låter dig leva.
Säg mig! Du underlig man som klär sig i rosa kanin kläder!
I really have no idea what you are saying.
Är du hotar mig?

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
I have no idea what you are saying viking man.
Säg bara var guldet och jag låter dig leva!
But I don't care if this whole ship sinks down. You're going down with me!
Kom igen. Det finns ingen anledning att göra det svårare.
Ok, maybe that wasn't such a great idea...
Vad gjorde du det för?

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Fårskalle! Nu är vi fast här på botten av havet. Vad ska vi göra nu? Kanske om vi arbetar tillsammans...
**EATS VIKING**
Thanks.
Don't mention it.

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Uhhh... Yeah see you later I guess..

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Irk irk irk irk irk irk.
Irk irk irk irk irk irk.
I thought dolphins were supposed to be smart.

 

by l0zor
1-08-10
Boy, it sure is interesting to walk around here at the bottom of the ocean.
Yep, real interesting.

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere...

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
I wonder what kind of monster that tentacle is attached to.
Cthulhu!
You've got to be shitting me.
Wow, you sure are an ugly pink son of a bitch.

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
So... Uhhh... Cthulhu... What's up my man? How's it hanging?
Just chillin'

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
So uhhh... What's it like living on the bottom of the ocean?
Oh, it's not bad. It's just that some things are hard to come by...
...like decent toilet paper.

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
So uhhh... You just sit around here all day on the bottom of the ocean?
Yeah, pretty much.
Wanna try out this bong I made?

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
So uhhh... It's been really nice hanging out with you here underwater Cthulhu. But I'd like to find a way out of here.
Oh, that won't be a problem. I can take you to the nearest land in just a few seconds.
Really? You could do that for me?
Sure, no problem.
A few seconds later on the nearest desert island...
Figures...

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
Goddammit desert islands are fucking boring...

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
Fuck it! I'm just gonna try to walk over the ocean so I can find my way home!
I did it! I'm walking on the water! It must be a miracle!
Oh, hi there!
You've got to be shitting me.

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
Jesus! I thought I killed you some time ago!
I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever liveth and believeth in Me shall never die.
Believest thou this?
Nope.

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
He who believes in Me does not believe in Me, but in Him who sent me. And he who beholds Me beholds the One who sent Me.
I have come as light into the world that everyone who believes in Me may not remain in darkness.
Yeah, whatever.

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
Goddamn, this sure is a long walk all the way over the ocean.
Much later...
I did it! I'm finally back in America!
Good day sir, I'm from immigration. Can I please see your green card?
You've got to be shitting me.

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
You've got to be shitting me.
You've got to be shitting me.
I'm sorry sir but it seems your papers didn't check out. We're going to send you back to Africa.
You've got to be shitting me!

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
Hahaha! Hey buddy I was just messing with you. Your papers checked out alright. Hahaha! You're free to go.
Hey, you hear me buddy? It was just a joke! Hahaha! Oh man, you should see the look you have on your face right now... Hahaha!

 

by l0zor
1-09-10
You can crawl but you can't hide officer.

 

by l0zor
1-10-10
Go across the street and take the right... Follow that street all the way and then take the last right... Take the next left and keep walking south...
Keep walking past the next three blocks and then take a left turn... Go past the bank and go right near the stores... Take right turn at the second street...
Ahhh, here it is. I'm finally back home.

 

by l0zor
1-10-10
Wow, I can't believe I actually made it... I'm home at last!
Yeah I really missed this place.

 

by l0zor
1-10-10
Hey bunnyman! Long time no see my friend! Whatcha been up to?
I killed jesus, some children, a dog, a nigger, a hippie, a priest, an entire african village, a clown, a cripple, some pirates, a dolphin, jesus again and an immigrations officer.
I'm sorry I asked.

 

by l0zor
1-10-10
So bunnyman, did you bring me back anything from Africa?
Yeah, AIDS!
Hahahahahaha!!
Hahahahahaha!!

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