All comics by laurapetersen

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by laurapetersen
10-05-01
KK walks along the shores of Lac Leman in Geneva.
Hey now....that chick is HOT!
Wow, Geneva is so pretty...Laura and I really love Switzerland.
click...click...click.....OWWW!! Baby, you fine!! ;-)
What the hell? Did that guy just click at me??
Thaaaasss right....you heard me baby.
....and smelled too.

 

by laurapetersen
10-05-01
Oh.....I shouldn't have gone out shopping alone tonight!
hmmm.... what should I get pierced next?....
Entschuldigen Sie... Wo liegt das Laden, in dem man Telefonekarten kaufen kann?
Bitch, do you know who the fuck I am? ............. ............ ...........Ich bin der Man, der in Schatten lauret. Follow me and I'll get you a phone card. Hey, wanna go to Amsterdam too?
I'll call collect.

 

by laurapetersen
10-05-01
Terror is about to strike at a nation's capitol....
Ich komme aus Afganistan. Ich hasse den USA!
Fuck Bin Laden, man!
oh, scheisse
Hey you there! Yeah...you with the sheet on your head!

 

by laurapetersen
10-06-01
I claim this here moon planet for the greatest country on Earth.... Canada!!
Yo...that ain't no Canadian flag....
....and you must die for your sins!!
Dude, according to intergalactic-moon law we are forbidden from killing anyone who is not crazy!
Am I the ONLY one who heard what he said about Canada???

 

by laurapetersen
10-06-01
Hi... My name is Satan, the Prince of Darkness... this is my first time... Well, I may as well say it.. I am an alcoholic.
*applause* Hello Satan and welcome.
Can you spare a brotha some change?
What the *#$*!?
Woh....what happened to you?
Y2K, man, Y2K.

 

by laurapetersen
10-06-01
Isn't life great?
yahh..umm....
Don't you love it?
Umm.....sure..... You stay here among the rocks and dirt, and I will seek a better home... I don't care where I am, just so long as it isn't HERE!!
Welcome! Bruuuuhahahaha!
Take backs?

 

by laurapetersen
10-06-01
I will listen to your speech if you want, sure.
Ya.... actually..... Let's go to a movie and dancing instead.
I already told you, I have a boyfriend. Besides, I am very busy...if you need help with your speech, fine, but I will not go out with you.
Oh...okay. Well, I saw you at the gym today! You looked hot. Wanna go to the house party with me tonight?
What the FUCK did I just say? Lass mich bitte in Ruhig!!
Okay, I understand. But if you reconsider, I'll be waiting outside your door.

 

by laurapetersen
10-06-01
That spaceship bathroom sure was weird!
Ya....ahem...I thought so too. Boy, did I really need to go pee though!
Ya, whatever.... Hey, Charlie, look here, does that tatoo look like a real butterfly to you?
Oh my... I... uhhh...ahem..... ohhh yaaa...I mean, excuse me...
????
Gotta go to the bathroom again!

 

by laurapetersen
10-06-01
Jesus, what in God's name are you doing out here?
Waiting for Godot.

 

by laurapetersen
10-07-01
One day about 2000 years ago...
Damn, that sucks.
I know.
In about three days you will feel all better.
I know.
! ! ! ! ! ! !
Go away. . . . . or I'll tell your mom what really happened to that hamster. . . Kid, I see more than Santa Claus. Don't fuck with me.

 

by laurapetersen
10-07-01
...and then Joseph Smith had a woman and a seer stone help him translate the Book of Mormon from golden tablets...
Riiiiight..... and where are these golden tablets now?
...Oh, God already took them up to heaven....
How convenient.
Wait! Come back. I know you really are an Investigator, who wants to learn all about 'The church,' become a member, and make his covenants with God!!
fuck off

 

by laurapetersen
10-07-01
Diiing Dooong!!!
Yes?
Good afternoon....... I am a member of LDS and I want to tell you about The Church. For 10% of your income and cultish devotion, your soul too can be saved.
I'm calling the police.
Wait! Did I tell you about the special names and secret handshakes??

 

by laurapetersen
10-07-01
... I just wish you weren't so ill-informed, is all...
Huh?
God is NEVER wrong. God is ALWAYS good and just. And God's laws should ALWAYS be obeyed... we must be good Christains, like Moses for example.
But didn't Moses murder all those people who worshipped the golden calf after he came down the mountain holding the 10 Commandments ... one of which was "Thou Shall Not Kill"???
Touche.
I may be drunk, but I ain't stupid.

 

by laurapetersen
10-07-01
...so let me get this straight....
Okay.
I give the church 10% of my income...read the Bible & the Book of Mormon every day...pray and give thanks to God...live a good life with as little sin as possible...obey my husband's every command...
yep....of course.... uhh huh...ya...yes...
... I lead a perfect life...and I STILL can't get into the first level of heaven unless my husband calls me up?
That's right bitch. Now go make me a cheese sandwich.

 

by laurapetersen
10-09-01
You think THIS is bad??
Yes
You should see the OTHER guy!
Oh my.

 

by laurapetersen
10-11-01
Ahhh, Jesus, just the man I was looking for...
What do YOU want???
Gotta question for ya...
???
Are we still on for golf this weekend?
You bet!!!

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