All comics by malcolio

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by malcolio
12-13-03
John & Jim Part 1
Jim, Jim!!!
What is it?
I haven't got any eyes!!
John, you're a cartoon character!
Oh yeah, I forgot.
I'd kick you, but I have no feet.

 

by malcolio
12-13-03
John & Jim Part 1
Jim, Jim!!!
What now??
I have no eyes!!!
You're a cartoon character.
Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me.
I'd kick you, but I have no feet.

 

by malcolio
12-13-03
John & Jim Part 2
Oh no, not John again.
Jim, Jim!!! Quick, outside!
Look! Over there!
Look! Over there!
!ereht revO !kooL
.retcarahc nootrac diputS

 

by malcolio
12-13-03
John & Jim Part 2
Oh no, not John again.
Jim, Jim!!! Quick, outside!
What now??
Look! Over there!
!ereht revO !kooL
.retcarahc nootrac diputS

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
John & Jim Part 3
Oh no...
Jim, Jim!!
What? No John, you...
Some guy just sold me this really expensive sugar! I'm going to try it!
Quack
Hey, Mr. Duck! Where did Jim go??

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
John & Jim Part 4
Hey Jim, lets go around my house!
We can't, you fool!
Huh why not, all we do is walk this way...
Wait, you can't walk that way...
Arghhh!! Where are we?
We only have three backgrounds, remember??

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
John comes over to Jims house...
Hey, where's Jim??
I'm afraid your friend has been kidnapped!
What? How? And who are you??
I'm an agent from a secret government agency designed to keep alien discoveries away from public knowledge.
What, the Men in Black?
No, the Men in Brown. This is Britain, remember, no government agency has a good budget.

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
Introduction
In the last episode of John & Jim, Jim had been kidnapped, and John met a mysterious agent from the 'Men in Brown'
Jim and 'Agent Brown' are now searching a graveyard for clues to Jim's kidnapping....
I can't see anything...
Hmmm, a piece of paper!
What do you think it is?
I don't know, but it matches all these other bits of paper I found here. We better go back to the lab for testing.

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
Back at the lab...
So, what are the pieces of paper, Agent Brown??
Well, it seems as if they all come from one piece of cardboard...
What's that sound??
That's a bangolia death siren! Quick, run!
John runs...
Your heart no longer beats!
Urk! The bangolia death grip, gurgle....

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
Introduction
In the last Episode of John & Jim, John runs away as Agent Brown is killed by a 'bangolia', a mysterious alien.
Will the alien find John? Find out in this episode.
Ah, you found me!
Ha ha ha, I have you now!!
Somebody calls out in the distance...
Hang on, that sounds like...
What the? No!! Its....

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
Carrying on from Episode 4...
It's Jim!!
Noo!!! Run away!!!
Jim!! Where have you been, and whats that sign?
Bangolia's can't stand instructions, they find them too hard to understand.
Conclusion in next Episode...
So the paper was...
Another sign I made. That alien thing ripped it up and took me to his ship, I've only just managed to break out of it...

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
Concluding episode of Part 5
Will that alien ever come back again??
No, I don't think so...
Oh, I was going to go after him.
I planted a tape of how to set up a Hi-Fi system in his space craft...he isn't ever coming back.
THE END (hurrah!)
Arghhhh!!!! Help!!!
Plug in Cord C into Socket X5-77. Turn Hi-Fi clockwise, 90 degrees, and insert spangle T9 into bracket 2(6T)...

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
John has a clever plan...
Instead of John always coming to my house and interrupting my work, I'm going to his, tee hee hee!!!
Lets see, he lives at number 26...Ha! He left his front door open, how stupid can you get??
Bangolia's can't stand instructions, they find them too hard to understand.
Shocking conclusion in the next episode...
What the...who are you??
Jim! I didn't think you would come to my house...

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
The shocking truth...
What the, is that you John??
Yes Jim, for you see, I am your twin brother!!
So why do you look so different when you come to my house?
Well, it gets confusing when there's two people who look the same...
Confused? Well tough, because thats THE END
Hang on, I'm not John, I'm Jim!!
See what I mean??

 

by malcolio
12-14-03
Jim has a cunning plan...
Ha, instead of John coming over to my house all the time and annoying me, I'll go over to his!
Ok, he lives at No. 26...Ha, how stupid can you get, he left his front door open!!
Coclusion in the next episode...
What the....
Jim! I didn't think you would come to my house!

 

by malcolio
12-15-03
John comes to visit Jim's house, again.
Jim, Jim! I just met this really cool chick do you want to meet her?
Er, actually no.
Why not? Oh, never mind, I'll bing her over.
No, you fool! There can only be two characters on...
So Jane, I'd like you to meet Jim...Jim??
Huh, he must of run off.

 

by malcolio
12-15-03
John comes to Jims house, again.
Jim, Jim! Hey, you're not Jim!
No, I'm from the government. We've come to reclaim your friends house, but for some reason we can't find him.
Hmm, that's weird, hes been gone ever since I brought Jane around...hey, there she is over there!
No, wait I...
The mystery continues...
Oh, he ran off.
Hi John, were's Jim, and who was that guy?

 

by malcolio
12-15-03
John comes to Jims house, again.
Jim! Jim! Hey you're not....wait, no, you are Jim!
Yes, well done. Well, I finally managed to get back, after you introduced Jane to the strip.
Oh, hi Jane, Jim was jsut here saying, oh, he's gone!
Yeah, he vanished again. Look, I have to get going, but phone me when you see Jim again. Bye!
Jim! Jim! Hey you're not....wait, no, you are Jim!
You can only have two characters on one panel at a time!!! I'm going on vacation, so introduce as many characters as you like.

 

by malcolio
12-15-03
Hmm, me on holiday, and not a John in sight.
Meanwhile....
So, £20 for the rights to this strip??
Yeah, sure. Whatever a strip is...
[TITLE IN PROGRESS]
I'm glum, I'm going to go kill someone.
Arghh!! Stay away from me you monster!

 

by malcolio
12-16-03
What's up doc?
Arghh! A talking rabbit!
Nothing happens
Scrunch scrunch scrunch
Errr...
Is Jim insane? Find out- if you dare!
Phew- that was close
I could have sworn that rabbit said something- I better go see a psychiatrist about it...

 

by malcolio
12-16-03
Jim gets back from holiday.
Hey, who are you?
I'm Jim, and my intuition has told me that John has just sold the rights of this strip to you!
Meanwhile...
So, you'll sell the rights to the strip for only £20??
I'm hungry...
Is this the end?
No! Johns done it again!
Too late! The strip is mine now, and there's going to be no more John & Jim! Goodbye!

 

by malcolio
12-16-03
George wakes up after an Office Party
My head...
You got drunk and started to shout at everyone! You went up to your boss and yelled at his face. He was furious!
Well, piss on him!
You did, he fired you.
Well, screw him!
I did, you're back on Monday.

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