All comics by nickmonroe

 

Do you know how fast you were going?
by nickmonroe, 1-13-09

 

by nickmonroe
1-16-09
And with the new mapping system i can simultaniously download the encrypted files and check my stocks, along with a thirty giga-bite hard drive it makes one sweet M36 processor. So, what do ya' think?
Why?
Anywase, about the processor.....

 

by nickmonroe
1-16-09
What in god's na-- Sanders, you'd better have a good explanation why your so damn late.
Well i killed my wife about two hours ago and as i was cutting up her body the phone rang, it was her mother. I said that she had gone out of town,but by that time I was already an hour late.
oh..
Well then, carry on.

 

by nickmonroe
1-16-09
What are doing?
The boss said to stare at the floor until i find an answer as to why I'm so incompetent
How's that goin'?
It wouldn't be so bad if people would stop bumping in to me.

 

by nickmonroe
1-16-09
Alright M'am, just slow down and give a description of the criminal.
Well he was tall, blondish hair. Had kind of a Mickey Rourke way about him. And he got in the monster truck and drove off, then he punched the president in the face.
M'am, did you even see the suspect or are you just making this up?
What's a suspect?

 

by nickmonroe
1-17-09
Where's Joe?
Oh oh um joe, well he's--he's gone to his grandma's house. and will be there for the rest of his life. And is definitely NOT dead after i hit him in the head with a coffemug for laughing at my haircut
Huh, ok. See ya.
Good good, everyone's bought the story so far. Now just to clean up the blood stain in the copy room.
Hey, did you know someone spilled their ketchup all over the floor in the copy room again? But its okay I went ahead and put it on my fries, little too much salt though.

 

Ya know...I think praying is pretty much out of the question at this point.
by nickmonroe, 1-17-09

 

No, not even this is going to make me convert. So quit asking.
by nickmonroe, 1-18-09

 

How many zero's did you enter?
by nickmonroe, 1-18-09

 

Told ya you wouldn't finish it in time to post.
Shut up.
by nickmonroe, 1-18-09

 

by nickmonroe
1-19-09
We're gunna have to let you go.
Its not that we don't like the job your doing, but we just feel that we can take it frome here. You understand, dont you?
No, i really dont understand.

 

by nickmonroe
1-19-09
Man, i hate the knew guy. He's so annoying...oh crap here he comes. God hes so annoying and he wont stop talking. I am the manager, there must be something i can do, hmmm...
Hey dude, whats up man?!! How was your day, ok me first, ok so this guy steps on my shoes and im like dude whatc where your going and he's all like screw you man. And then im like you wanna go bro--
Take a while though, eh..
And so after the fight i get his girl and then we go back to my place and things get crazy and then she said tha--
Your fired.

 

Good god, what happend to you?
Apparently my wife is on her peroid.
by nickmonroe, 1-19-09

 

by nickmonroe
1-19-09
You'v got mail!
Huh.
From you wife!
Oh...
She's leaving you!!
OH

 

by nickmonroe
1-19-09
Coming up comedians on comedycentral: Nick Swardson, and Jo Koy..
Awsome, dont mind being late for work for this.
also, Dane Cook and Kevin James
Sweet, screw work man. I'm callin in sick. This line up rocks.
But first: KAT WILLIAMS
Im late for work..

 

Joe's 2nd suicide attempt..
*sigh* Not you again.
by nickmonroe, 1-19-09

 

by nickmonroe
1-20-09
hey whats man?
Ah, yes Ben. Such a good friend, always wondered why i had never been over to his house
Um, why are you talking like that, you do realize that your not in a thought bubble?
Thats Ben, always pointing things out. I liked him, too bad Sara was cheating on him.
What??
Ben was never good at taking bad news.

 

by nickmonroe
1-20-09
So, what makes you qualified to work with us?
Well, im spunky, good with co-workers. Iv got a good resume and I'v good experience.
What might your references say, death?
Oh, that im a nice guy once you get to know me, i like to get things in on time, and I'm kown and feared in both planes of existance.
Sounds good to me, welcome to Ford.
Pleasure to be aboard.

 

by nickmonroe
1-20-09
Your soul will be mine, mortal. I will feast on your flesh and rip at your bones, ha ha!!
What else do you think i can look like?
I dont know, let me get s'more 'shrooms.

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