All comics by pretentiousyouth

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I've been thinking...
How utterly delightful, do share
I don't want to alarm anyone... I feel just sick about it... how clumsy of me...
Look chap! Bloody hell! Do share whats making you so tragically anxious!
I think I left the television set on by mistake.
oh bloody hell...

 

FEAR MY WRATH! I have been sent to conquer you and all surrounding peoples!!
I command you to submit to me, infidel! I fear not your curveless features, nor your spectacles of Satan! I shall now proceed to coerce you using only brute strength!!
well he was a bit irksome.

 

Our hero, Chaci, encounters a ruthless prostitute. Let's watch his skillful handling of a sticky situation.
mmm mmm mmm...
He starts well, unfaltered by her attempts to free herself. He tries to discern her place of birth. Very clever policework Chaci.
please sir! i... i won't do it again! i swear... money's so tight these day... i ....
Are you from Ireland?
*cough* nevermind...
er...?
Because my penis is Dublin!

 

I've been thinking... I don't know if I'm ready for this commited of a relationship yet...
I just feel as though I'm not on your level... that I can't connect with you. I look into you eyes and... its just not there. We don't share interests, hobbies, beliefs anymore! It's weird...
Jeb knew Molly could never be the girl for him.
I wish I could be the man you want.
i can see up your nose. can i have my kickball back now?

 

Hi... um... I've never really done this sort of this before... and... umm... i feel a little awkward. but i saw you from across the room...
And I just felt so... drawn to you... really hot... yknow? And I don't mean to sound forward... and maybe you're not into this sorta thing but um would you like to engage in sexual intercourse withme?
Dawn never could resist a good goat-fuck.

 

I've been thinking, we should engage in a question answer dialogue that would allow to find out more about eachother, thus strengthening our relationship.
You know... I ask you a deep and meaningful question about your views, your hopes, dreams, etc. and you give me an equally deep and provacative answer. Then you ask me a question. Ok? You start.
The best relationships are built on Campbells.
What's your favorite kind of soup?

 

So anyway, I've been thinking about us, and how unusual we are. I mean, sometimes I get the feeling that you're more caught up in clothes than I am.
... high tops or low tops... oh this is such a tough decision. thank god they're the exact same style shoe... but still... which to wear, which to wear??!
Of course then I tell myself thats ridiculous, there's no way you could be possibly that caught up in the way you look and matching. I'm just being silly, there's nothing to worry about...
of course if i'm wearing a sweater, maybe the low tops would be better. but then again, do i really want to COMMIT to wearing khakis? would the khakis truly accentuate the delicate color and patterns?
there ISN'T anything to worry about... right?
I'm sorry, can you possibly walk a little bit behind me? That shirt of yours clashes horribly with my high tops.

 

so basically after long and careful consideration, i realized that to get my drivers license would only end up being some grievous crime against enviroment, and who wants to commit that??!
so... what you're saying is, you need a ride?

 

Dear Sal, LA was rougher than expected. Three long years of casting calls gone wrong, rotten agents, bit parts, animal porn.
The list could continue, with each situatI have, however, finally discovered peace and prosperity. As we speak I am settling into a new home, not far from you, and I look forward to being neighbors.

 

fuckin principals office again. this is so lame... this school has no appreciation for art. just a bunch of fuckin nazis. no one understands MY needs...
why are they always looking out for everyone else? when is a teacher going to hear me? my artisticism? when will someone see the genius that is behind my work? the tortured brilliance of my mind!
besides, i only said i was gonna chop off his testicles and feed them to his mama. its not like i threatened to kill him or anything...

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