All comics by retardo130

 

by retardo130
6-23-08
dude who are you?, where am I?, and why am I here?
I'm god and you're in heaven
you're the chosen one
what do you mean the chosen one?
you're the chosen one to suck my kawk!
ooooooook!

 

by retardo130
6-24-08
they were getting ready to make out
com'ere sexy
ok honey, get ready
then all of sudden...
omg! where did he go?
dude, why did u this to me, god.
you were about to have premaritle sex, thats a deadly sin.

 

by retardo130
6-24-08
umm... ill tell u the truth, god told me not to have premaritle sex with you
dude your freakin crazy, you know what, it's freakin over, goodbye
then he disappeared again
why didn't you have premaritle sex with that sexy blonde
cause god told me not to.
well god's a pussy, never listen to him again, sin all you want bro.
ok, thanks for telling me, by the way you need to get an air conditioner in here, cause it's hot!

 

by retardo130
6-24-08
hey god you're a pussy
no im not!!!
well then you're dick, your decision
your just jealous cause im better than you
then why do i have so many more followers than you do?
because the world is full of so many fucking trouble makers.

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
ok im here for business
wait, who the hell are you?
you hired me to work for you, like 5 years ago
bullshit!!!
dude a few years ago, your doctor diagnosed you with amnesia, and i've had to explain this to you every freakin day, it gets tiring.
oh, well then lets get to work

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
OK im ready to work
hmmm... you look familiar?
GOD DAMN'T, IM YOUR GOD DAMN ASSISTANT, BITCH!!!!!!!
ok you can take out my trash, since you just started working here
ok i'll take out your god damn trash, but just so you know i've been working here for FREAKIN 5.5 YEARS MAN, GET A LIFE.
OOOOK?

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
dude today is my 24th birthday, and our 6th aniversary of being together, so i brought you a cure to your amnesia.
ok ill try it.
he tried the cure
hmm.... wait i don't know you?
fuck, it didn't work, try this sample.
he tried the 2nd sample
hmm.... wait, you're my assistant bobby, hey do you want to go to the bedroom and have some fun?
heck ya, bring it on!!!

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
hey man, lets get to work
dude, who the fuck are you?
he tried the third sample
awww, fuck, it wore off, try this sample
ok i'll try it
hmm..., oh yea, you're my assistant bobby, hey do you want to have some fun in the bedroom again.
are you serious, of course i want to have some fun in the bedrom again

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
umm... i have some bad news
what's that assistant bobby
well i took a pregnancy test and it came back positive
go on!
and... you're the father
omg!!!! why did you have to lose your condoms?

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
wonder who that could be
i'll get it!
he got it
who are you and what do you want
well we have invested in your amnesia cure and it's working well but, people have been making complaints.
people have been making complaints that the cure has a side effect which has been making people very very horny!
oh crap, no wonder the reaper wanted to, uh nevermind

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
only 4 more months till i give birth to our child
20 years later
sup dad
oh you've grown up so fast
wait who are you again?
oh come on!!!

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
he tried the cure!!
ok, since you can't remember me, try this cure
ok, whoever you are
he went to talk to the reaper
hey sup dad
not much
hey you wanna go have some fun in the bedroom together
fuck ya, im really horny.

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
hey dad im not feeling to good
alright i'll call a doctor
they called a doctor
all done, whoever you had sex with last, gave you herpes
oh that was the reaper, but i was kind of horny
awww fuck, you gave him herpes, and all the times we screwed each other, hey wanna screw me again
hell ya, but lets have some fun with it this time, oh I wont give you herpes

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
hey umm... the government is going to sue you because you cure to amnesia makes people horny which makes herpes spread faster
how many people have herpes
already, about 0.333% of the people on earth have herpes
holy crap, by the way, you can't sue me, I work for the reaper
about 5 minutes later
omg!!!, he really does work for the reaper, I wont sue you guys, I promise, ahhhh I gotta get out of here
thanks old fat guy!!!!

 

by retardo130
6-25-08
now the percentage of people who have herpes on earth, has reach 1%, which is about 60,000,000 people.
oh my god, we're going to have to do something about this herpes thing, it's getting out of control
yea I know it's like turning everybody to zombies.
ya i'll have to create a cure
1 week later
now 100,000,000 people have herpes
ok im not joking this time, im really going to create a cure this time, sorry about last week

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
hey i created a cure to herpes
ok i'll test the cure
he tested the cure
wait, who are you?
awww fuck, try this sample
he tried the 2nd sample
oh you're my assistant bobby, and your cure to herpes works, now why do i feel like i have to take a crap all of a sudden
i dont know, mabey you ate a burrito or something

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
hey, i've heard you created a cure for the 200,000,000 people that have herpes
ya all taken care of, here's the cure
the scientist tested the cure
ok it works, but now i feel like i have to take a crap
mabey you ate a burrito?
hmm..., i dont think that guy ate a burrito, i think it's your cure you created, that's making people crap
hahahahaha, that's hilarious

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
THE NEW HERPES CURE IS FANTASTIC, IT'S MADE 50,000,000 DOLLARS, NOW ONLY 20,000,000 PEOPLE HAVE HERPES
wow im going to be freakin rich baby!!!
THAT'S DOWN FROM 300,000,000 PEOPLE A WEEK AGO.
wow that herpes cure is actually working
ha that herpes cure, is working!!!
ya but you put a side effect of diarea in the cure!!! lol!!!

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
i'm very ill, I have to tell Johny!
no you're to sick, i'll tell him, OK!
umm... I have some bad news, bobby is very ill, and he probably wont live much longer, would you like to see him?
yes I have to!
umm... Johny, I've caught a deadly disease, and I'll probably only live for 1 year, you take over and work for the reaper, it's your job now!
oook dad, this is just to sad, but i'll get through it, bye dad.

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
son, i only have a few more months, I can't move anymore, I have to wear adult diapers, and I have to be fed and hydrated through a tube!
daddy I promise you, you wont die
can we save him?
a cure would have to be create and your dad, is the only one that knows how to create cures
I'll figure something out, anything to save my father
well you only have 3 months.

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
what are you doing johny
looking up research on father's disease
you only have a month
I got it figured out, yes!

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
I have the cure, for my father
well we better get this to him immediatly, he only has a week to live, he can't talk now either.
dad try this cure
he tried the cure
ehhhhh... im dying, uhhh... I love you son
I love you to dad...

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
the cure didn't work
it didn't, so he died
yes he died!!!!
oh im so sorry to hear about that
ok im hungry for a burrito
coming right up.

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
hey dude I seem really hungry lately
ahh your transformation is coming then
hmm... what will I turn into
you wil turn into the devil, and become the ruler of hell and become mortal enemies with god and such things.
the transformation happened
wow I really did turn it the devil
in a week you'll leave for hell, in 2 weeks, you will become the ruler of hell, and in a month you will meet god and become mortal enemies with him

 

by retardo130
6-26-08
I've packed your bags , time to leave and start your training
yep here I go
wait!!!
what?
can I go with you?
yea, im sure there's alot of burrito's in hell.

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
here we are!
yep, this is the place
hey do you guys have burritos?
yep there right over there, see the sign, ALL THE BURRITOS YOU CAN EAT
they ate a bunch of burritos
hey do you guys have any bathrooms around here?
sorry , no bathrooms!

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
man, I hate hell, they have burritos, but no bathrooms, what kind of deal is that?
no wonder you stink!
maybe we can convince the clown, to let you leave hell?
why, cause I need a new pair of pants?
no, remember , you said you hated hell!
oh yea i'll go ask!

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
umm... hello
omg!, get away!, you stinnk!
well that's your fucking fault, for having burritos and no fucking bathrooms
actually that's satan's fault
I thought I was fucking satan!
not technicall, until satan dies are you satan!

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
umm... hello
are you here about your stinky friend
yes!
then I don't want to hear about it!
he wanted to know if he could leave hell?
he would have to talk to satan about that

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
umm.... satan, I have to ask you something!
fell for my prank didja?
wait, that was a prank?
yep, the good old, burritos but no bathroom trick, we do that to the new people!
wait how didja know I fell for it?
you have stinky pants

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
now what didja want?
I want to leave hell, I hate it here!
go right ahead, we can get more devils, oh yea the bathroom is on the right
thanks
He used the bathroom
he said we could leave, but I dont know how to get outta here
that's easy!

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
let's go
ok im ready
they went back home
that bathroom was an adventure, I'm gonna need another burrito
lol, I know what you mean!
then all of a sudden they were abducted by aliens
WTF. where are we?
I don't know, everything is so futuristic, I wonder if they have burritos here

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
hey why didja guys abduct us, we did not want to be abducted!
im sorry but we, smelled burrito's on you
oh I have two of them in my pocket, do you want one?
I would enjoy eating a burrito, right about now
i'll only give you one if you set us free!
are you sure you want set free, we were planning on flooding the earth!

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
when might we expect this flood?
december 21, 2012, at 11:11 am
yea right , you wont flood the earth
no im serious, but if you want to go back go right ahead, but I want my burrito
ok here's a burrito, now take us home
ok you will be home in a matter of minutes.

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
ok now your home, what do you say!
fuck you!
no your suppose to say, thank you!
fine, thank you!
your welcome, by the way, I ate that burrito and it was too spicy!
bye, jackass!

 

by retardo130
6-27-08
december 21, 2012, 11:09 am
what time did that guy say he would flood the earth?
11:11 am
time to flood the earth
yea I hate that guy that gave me the spicy burrito!
11:11 am
omg! he really did flood the earth!
and you didn't believe him?

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:12 am
I know how to fix this
how?
11:13 am
just pull the plug!
omg, they left a plug, you mean to tell me we're in a giant bathtub
11:14 am
yea, tthe plug is right over there!
ok!

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:15
GO PULL THE PLUG
OK
11:16, he pulled the plug
ok I pulled the plug
ok, good job!
11:17

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:18
11:19
11:20

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:21
why isn't it working
it's not done draining
11:22
11:23

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:24
11:25
11:26

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:27
is it almost done draining?
yes it's almost done
11:28
11:29

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:30
11:31
11:32

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:33
the draining is nearly done
cool
11:34
11:35

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:36
11:37
11:38

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:39
oh just about 5 more minutes!
finally!
11:40
11:41

 

by retardo130
6-28-08
11:42
11:43
11:44
ok we're back!
yes!, time to heat up some burritos

 

dude, what the hell?
god, please get this stupid creature away from
by retardo130, 6-29-08

 

umm... but we're virgins?
doesn't matter, you must do it!
by retardo130, 6-29-08

 

how do you use this gun?
umm... that's not a gun!
by retardo130, 6-29-08

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