All comics by rtock

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by rtock
1-05-04
If all evil is irradicated from the world, i will have no choice but to be good
But this will erradicate free will. I can't do a good deed if there is no alternative. That destroys the whole point.
You better not be polishing the bishop in there, Richard

 

by rtock
1-05-04
Hey mum. How are you?
You were a mistake

 

by rtock
1-05-04
I've been wanting you tell you something for ages, Richard
Yes, Holly
When i see you, it makes me feel sick
Oh
I think I've died inside

 

by rtock
1-05-04
Richard, you are the most vile person on Earth. I hate you. Let me spell this out Y-O-U H-A-V-E N-O C-H-A-N-C-E
Marry me

 

by rtock
1-06-04
All I've got to do is keep it simple. Just say hi. Just don't sprout rubbish
You can do it. Say "hi". It's only two letters
I AtE CraYoNS And THEy TasTeD BaD

 

by rtock
1-06-04
Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene.
I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started?
3 Letters : P-M-S

 

by rtock
1-07-04
So then he said he ate CRAYONS. BLUE crayons
I KNOW
THATS INSANE
Everybody knows that the green ones taste best!

 

by rtock
1-07-04
...So there you go! Clubbing seals, both humane AND erotic
And now a party political broadcast from the Holly party
Richard, you belong here

 

by rtock
1-07-04
Welcome to the inside of my head
Dreams are good. (fap fap fap)

 

by rtock
1-09-04
Help
Richard? What are you doing down there
Call me an ambulance
Your an ambulance

 

by rtock
1-10-04
Why are you in my house?

 

by rtock
1-10-04
Did i leave the oven on?

 

by rtock
1-10-04
Suppose I'm stuck here.
I could contemplate the great irony's. The stupid world rules. Stuff that's just wrong!
How DID Titanic win all those Oscars?

 

by rtock
1-10-04
So if I'm from the Middle East, why am I white?
Yes daddy, sorry daddy.
SHUT UP. I DIDN'T MAKE YOU TO THINK!

 

by rtock
1-10-04
OH DADDY! Why did you make me die like this?
Hey, I'm doing the best job I can, the angles wanted you to get AIDS

 

by rtock
1-10-04
Look, there's no need to punish ME
I'm not the dumb fucker who put the gobby snake near the fucking sacred tree.
Kids today, all they ever do is talk back.

 

by rtock
1-10-04
I love you
Go to hell
What the?
Bend over, boy

 

by rtock
1-10-04
Dad
Yes Son
If we're up here in heaven, how come we don't show up on radar and NASA hasn't seen us, and planes don't bump into us
Shut the fuck up or I'll make you save the Jews again.

 

by rtock
1-10-04
WHEN I AM PRESIDENT, I WILL KILL ALL HUMANS
YOU WILL BOW AT MY FEET, I WILL RULE YOU WITH AN IRON FIST. YOU WILL HAVE NO FREEDOM
I just wish Bush hadn't got there first

 

by rtock
1-12-04
"Oh, Richard, that restraining order was just a joke, she'll never enforce it." That's the last time I EVER ask Seddy for advice.

 

by rtock
1-12-04
You look really nice today...
...

 

by rtock
1-12-04
Hey Vikki, you look really nice today...
..Ta
You have nice breasts
Thanks a lot
Please hit me

 

by rtock
1-12-04
Holly hates me, my parents hate me...
The BBC hates me (no series 3 of 24). I think God hates me.
Run with that idea.

 

by rtock
1-13-04
"So, you want to go and see the new Bill Murry film?"
That'll work. She'll say yes. She likes Bill Murry. You get along
I mean, what's the worst thing she could say?

 

by rtock
1-13-04
You EAT crayons.
Sorry, I'm washing my hair. Plus...I hate you
You EAT crayons.
Sorry, I'm washing my hair. Plus...I hate you
You EAT crayons.
Sorry, I'm washing my hair. Plus...I hate you

 

by rtock
1-13-04
I would like to make a formal statement. Sorry for the last strip. It was a mistake. The following strip occurs in real time between 8pm and 9pm, and is less fucked up then the previous one. Sorry

 

by rtock
1-13-04
You EAT crayons
I'm washing my hair...Plus...I hate you
Do I get to put "helped the mentally challenged" on my CV?
You made a COMIC about me. You're a creep.
WHATEVER made you think I was in your league?
Hahahahahaha

 

by rtock
1-13-04
What can I get you sir?
I’ve got very special dietary requirements and i'm not really sure if I can eat here
Well we do try to have something on the menu for everyone, and our chef can make up absolutely anything you could want.
Well in that case maybe I will have something.
The answer to my greatest question: why the fuck did God put a blabbing snake in the garden of eden. It's an accident waiting to happen

 

by rtock
1-18-04
So I invented a time machine.
....ACTIVATE
Look, we're in the year 3000
...Of all the years...you have to pick the one with Busted in.

 

by rtock
1-18-04
Comming to the BBC in 2004:Killroy and Muhammed
So our Muh'mmed what do you want for tea t'night
I was thinking of ordering a take-away
You are such a lazy shit.

 

by rtock
1-18-04
Comming to the BBC in 2004: Flying School.
In this first episode: that bird from Holby City
I'm on the moon. I can jump high
You're not. You're on a high building. You'll fall, fool.
AGGGGHHHHHHHHH
I fancy a pizza.

 

by rtock
1-18-04
Glitter In The Sandpit: Gary Glitter starts in this comedy set in a primary school.
What happend to your cool costume Mr Glitter.
I ditched it for my new "clean" look
...Owww, you're the best teacher I've ever had. I love you
I've got sweets at my house.

 

by rtock
1-18-04
New to the BBC in 2004 : Hangin' with Shipman. Join Harold Shipman on the streets of Harlem
Yo Mr. H, you a tripping mutha.
U trip to my places muthafucka. iI got some good pussyshit going, man, i load you up, you bet your muthafuckin' black ass.
Do you want some medicine?

 

by rtock
1-18-04
Stay cool.
Try and find common ground.
So...Kirk or Picard?

 

by rtock
1-20-04
My GOD, that was the best show ever.
Yeah, I can't believe they ended up detroying the whole city afterwards.
Well, it's been a trademark of theirs.
So, now that it's over, what you wanna do?
I want to raid a ... wait, isn't this our city? And isn't that our car on fire...Where are you going?
I'm putting out the dog.

 

by rtock
1-20-04
My GOD, that was the best show ever.
Yeah, I can't believe they ended up detroying the whole city afterwards.
Well, it's been a trademark of theirs.
So, now that it's over, what you wanna do?
No...wait...we're in California, this was here before.

 

by rtock
9-27-04
Man, I haven't seen you in so long. What have you being doing?
Later...
...
3 Months Later
Your mum! Ha! Take that.

 

by rtock
9-27-04
Note to self: Never talk someone to a Libertines concert on your first date.

 

by rtock
9-27-04
Sometimes things can be surreal for the sake of it.
Sometimes things can be surreal for the sake of it.
Sometimes things can be surreal for the sake of it.

 

by rtock
9-29-04
This new aquarium is excellent
It's got fish, sharks and dophins.
It's got... wait have you gone onto standby again?
Fuzz***Boredom circuits overheating***buzz***

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