All comics by uberking2005

Profile

 

by uberking2005
1-29-05
Hello. I am a clown.
And I am a little Asian girl.
And this is a comic about nothing.
Do you like having sex with onion bagels?
No, but I am in bed with your mom right now.
Then I shall kill you.

 

by uberking2005
1-29-05
Ouch! It burns! It burns!
I'm not really an Asian girl...
FBI. You're under arrest for various sex offenses, breaking and entering, and fraud.
Fraud? Breaking and entering? But I'm a real clown! And this is a cave!
If you're the real clown, then who's that bound and gagged in the corner?

 

by uberking2005
1-29-05
Teacher: Today you will learn how to say the alphabet.
I have a question: is P next to U in the alphabet? Because I smell something. P-U!
No, I think U is next to P, because U just P'd on the wall. Now I'm telling the teacher!
Wait a second here: What happened to N? Whoever made that made a mistake.
And if you're so smart, why are you even in the first grade?
*bell rings* Time for recess!
Yay!
Yay!

 

by uberking2005
1-29-05
Oh, hi Bozo.
Before I let you go, you need to be castrated.
*you hear snipping* Bozo: Ow! My nuts! They're gone!
I was thinking about getting rid of your penis as well. Okay, all done. You can go.

 

by uberking2005
1-29-05
ATTENTION! There are three reasons why I am better than you and I shall rule the world.
Reason number one: I can count, unlike you.
Reason number three: I am not an idiot and I can spel, unliek you. This is why I am better than you.

 

by uberking2005
1-29-05
Hello, my name is Bozo the Clown. The real one. Not the imposter who snip-snipped me like a dog getting fixed.
I am a clown, but I am not funny. Not at all.
This is about the best joke I can think up: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! Ha-ha-ha-ha!!! They say if I tell one more joke, they'll kill me. Oh no! Here they come now!

 

by uberking2005
1-29-05
Hello. Let's play Paper-Scissors-Rock.
It's Rock-Paper-Scissors, you idiot.
I am not an idiot! To prove that I am not an idiot, I will win you in Rock-Scissors-Paper. And play paper! Rock-Scissors-Paper-Shoot!
Paper!
Rock! Rock beats paper!
No, paper covers rock, you idiot. I WIN, meaning YOU ARE AN IDIOT!

 

by uberking2005
3-01-05
This is my final plea. I am not an idiot. I know everyone thinks I am, but I'm not.
I know 2+2=5, and I know that cat is spelled "k-a-h-t".
Disclaimer: This dude is an idiot, and he has neither a brain nor a penis. Make fun of his stupidity whenever you can. Thank you.
SO STOP MOCKING ME!

 

by uberking2005
5-21-05
DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DA-DUN-DUN-DA-DUN...
Stop it, you're not Darth Vader.
Silence, foolish Asian girl! Now join the dark side!
No!
Then I shall do this!
Ouch! It burns!

 

by uberking2005
5-21-05
Hello. My name is Bozo the Clown. This is where I am now, now that my crowd has chased me away. I am in hell.
I am not funny. Not at all. And my nuts have been chopped off.
Oh, this is the life.
Hi!

 

by uberking2005
5-21-05
So! Bozo the Clown! You're the one who has been captured, castrated, set free, chased by an angry mob, and sent all the way here to Hell?
Yeah, that's the whole story.
SILENCE!
Aaaa...ohhh.
Then I shall sentence you to work for me for an eternity!
Yes, Your Satan-ty.

 

by uberking2005
5-22-05
Hi there, and welcome to American Idle! I'm your host, Ryan Seacrest!
Our two finalists both got blown up by Iraqi terrorists using a car bomb, so, sorry to waste your time.
Seacrest...out!

 

by uberking2005
5-22-05
IDIOT! IDIOT!
SHUT UP!
IDIOT! IDIOT!
YOU LITTLE...AAAAHHH!
Welcome to hell, idiot.
I am not an idiot!

 

by uberking2005
5-22-05
Don't erase me!
Don't erase me!
PLEEEEEAAASSSE! DOOON"T ERAAAASE MEEEEE! I'M JUST A STICK FIGURE! NOOOOOOOO!

 

by uberking2005
5-22-05
It's cold here on the moon. I should've bundled up.
I'm burnt to a crisp. Should've stayed on Pluto.
It's cold here on the moon. I should've bundled up.
I'm burnt to a crisp. Should've stayed on Pluto.
It's cold here on the moon. I should've bundled up.
I'm burnt to a crisp. Should've stayed on Pluto.

 

by uberking2005
5-24-05
What do I do now?
Before you do anything, I must remove your penis.
No My nuts have already been chopped off! I wanna keep the wang!
SILENCE!
Ohhh...
Now! Fetch my minions!

 

by uberking2005
5-24-05
A-B-C-D-E-F-G,
H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,_. Q-R-S,T-U-V,W-X-Y and Z.
Where the P at?
All over the floor!

 

by uberking2005
5-24-05
So, Idiot.
I am not an idiot!
Yes you are! Now I must remove your male genitalia, just like Bozo.
No!
Wait a second...YOU DON'T HAVE ANY! BECAUSE YOU'RE REALLY...A DUMB BLONDE!
Where am I?

 

by uberking2005
5-24-05
Hello! I am a stupid squirrel on a red background.
BUTCH NO LIKE COLOR RED!
Would you like to have sex with me?
BUTCH NO LIKE COLOR RED!
So? Would you?
BUTCH NO LIKE STUPID SQUIRREL!

 

by uberking2005
5-27-05
Hello, I'm the Uber Gayness.
Yes, I'm gay.
A homosexual.

 

by uberking2005
5-27-05
Hello.
You're under arrest.
For what?
For being gay.
What! That is a human right!
Come on.

 

by uberking2005
5-27-05
BEING GAY IS NOT A CRIME!
In you go!
This isn't fair.
In jail for being gay. This is an outrage.

 

by uberking2005
5-27-05
Hello. My name is Uber Gayness, and I am a homosexual.
I am writing this letter from jail, where I am being kept for my gayness.
This is a basic right, to be gay. Why am I having it taken away from me?

 

by uberking2005
5-27-05
No, we should not allow gays to marry.
Well, Mr. Bush, I mean we could at least-
At least what? Let those guys up in Massachusetts get married?
Mr. Bush, that's already been done.
What? I say we drop a nucular weapon on 'em!
Mr. Bush, it's pronounced "nuclear", not "nucular".

 

by uberking2005
5-27-05
Reverend: Michael, do you take Steven to be your lawfully wedded husband?
I do.
Reverend: And Stephen, do you take Michael to be your lawfully wedded husband?
I do.
Reverend: Then I now pronounce you man and um... man.

 

by uberking2005
6-04-05
Hello. I am Uber Gayness, and I am in jail for being a homosexual.
And I'm Da Blacknesss, and I am in jail for being a African-American, yo.
I've been sentenced to death for no reason.
This some racial profilin' dawg.
And now I shall die.
Yo! I didn't know it was supposed to be this way, all cooked and fried up! This is wrong, yo.

 

by uberking2005
6-04-05
Translation without accent: You got all this money? Money is the greatest thing in the world, is it not?
Yo Jacques! Look at all this cash!
You got all zis money? Money eez zee greatest sing in zee world, eez eet not?
Yeah. Besides, why are we still in elementary school?
Because you fail all of your tests! And you care only about money!
Jacques, my money is...
You sink zat you are Monsieur Cool, zat you 'ave everysing going for you...Au revoir!

 

by uberking2005
6-04-05
Hello.
GIVE ME YOUR CAT
Why do I have to listen to a robot with one arm?
BECAUSE I SAID SO
Well, I'm not giving you my cat. *Meow*
THEN I SHALL KILL YOU

 

by uberking2005
6-04-05
This is cool, underwater.
But what's Jesus doing down here?
And why am I not wearing any scuba equipment?
HEY! I have been nailed here for one thousand, nine hundred, threescore and twelve years! Thou shalt not leave me here!

 

by uberking2005
6-04-05
Ugh! These are the worst clothes ever!
I can't stand to look at them!
HAVE SEX WITH ME
What? Who said that! I'm leaving this crappy store!

 

by uberking2005
6-04-05
I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
I SHALL USE THIS SUPER RADIOACTIVE CHAIR AND BECOME PRESIDENT!
COME ON, WORK ALREADY!

 

by uberking2005
6-04-05
What kind of letter is that?
It's a letter from my lost love.
What kind of letter is that?
My sweet, sweet love.
What kind of letter is that?
Want me to kill your cat?

 

by uberking2005
6-07-05
Hello. My name is Pizzadude.
I like to nail hammers into my head.
And I used this knife to chop off my own dick. I wish I was a woman... A beautiful, blonde woman...

 

by uberking2005
6-07-05
Here lies Uber Gayness.
And here lies Uber Blackness.
I am a lesbian Asian girl. That is why I came to bereave a fellow homosexual.
And I can't stand racial inequality.
You're under arrest for being Asian.
What?

 

by uberking2005
6-07-05
Why are you such a gaf?
What's a gaf, Sdrawkcab?
It's really the same as a lauxesomoh.
I don't get your drift AT ALL.
I have come to...
Shut up, you tnuc!

 

by uberking2005
6-07-05
Ugh!
Ugh!
Hey! My arm!
Ugh!
What's the password?
Ugh... Ugh... PENIS!

 

by uberking2005
6-07-05
Why can't I go to school?
Because you're a dog.
This is unfair.
And your a fag.
Why? Just because I was fi...fi...fikhhhhh...NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why are you even speaking? I thought dogs said "Woof".

 

by uberking2005
6-07-05
OOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That had to have been the most dreadful performance I have ever witnessed. Every window within 15 miles of here must have been shattered by that dreary screeching singing voice of yours.
AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
STOP IT! JUST STOP!
Wait a second! You're not Simon Cowell! You're that idiot!
What's an idiot?

 

by uberking2005
6-07-05
Woot!
Woot!
SHUT UP YOU DUMB CHEERLEADER
Woot!

 

by uberking2005
6-07-05
If you agree to kill everyone here, I will give you a reward.
Gug goog blurg?
A reward.
Blub?
And learn how to speak English.
Ig blurgig?

 

by uberking2005
6-07-05
Yaub?
Hi, Stoneman. My imaginary friend came real! Yay!
Blaub? Bloig goog doog floib glurg. Guuug.
What?
OOG!
AAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

by uberking2005
6-12-05
Blurg?
What? Who you? Where you come from?
Glurg? Blub glurg flurg.
What? I can't even undastand what yo sayin'.
Glurg.
WTF does glurg mean?

 

by uberking2005
6-12-05
Oog? Flurb lurg blurb glub glub glurg flub.
Sorry, no habla español.
Bloob! Yoog bloog!
What you just call me?
Gig goog! Bloog glurglurb!
Now you gon' kill me?

 

by uberking2005
6-12-05
gloog.
Now what you gon' do?
BLOOG!
Blurg.

 

by uberking2005
6-12-05
Squirrel!
Oog blurg!
You stupid stone!
Cheep! Chirp chirirp!
KILL STUPID SQUIRREL!
OOG BLURG BLURGLURB!

 

by uberking2005
6-15-05

 

by uberking2005
6-15-05
Hello. I am a half of a deer.
In a prison cell, or out of one. You decide.
Looks like I'm trying to be freed, but my half a body is just stuck between the bars.

 

by uberking2005
6-15-05
I am the Video Game Geek. Let me see here. What was I trying to get here?
Milk? Cheese? Bread? Estrogen pills? Contraceptives?
Don't tell me I have ADD.

 

by uberking2005
6-15-05
What was I supposed to do?
Let me just sit here.
Uh... why aren't you wearing any pants?
I thought I put them on.
HA! YOU! IN TRASH CAN! YOU TALK TO ASIAN GIRL WHO'S NOT EVEN THERE! HA!

 

by uberking2005
6-15-05

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