All comics by winkingjesus

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by winkingjesus
2-05-02
Where do you want to go today?
www.WinkingJesus.com
loading....
David witnesses the miracleknown as The Winking Jesus
wink
how many other people fall for thiz computer wizardry? this seems more like Harry Potter then the work of the all mighty.

 

by winkingjesus
2-05-02
Does it matter if he winked or not?
Honey-Chile, I looks at it dis way, Any God who gots a big enough sense `o humor to create something dat looks like the garaffe has GOTS to be 1 crazy God! Don`t you think so?
Sho` he`s been good 2 ol Rastus, yes sah ! He be my God 4 all time! But, there aint no need 2 think that Jaysus just sitting around on some cloud, killing time all day, is there? No suh, there aint.
He`s gots 2 have something going on 2 helps pass the time, right? So, he lets people create sights like winkingJ , in order 2 watch it drive peoples like you (who aint got no sense of humor), crazy!

 

by winkingjesus
2-05-02
htttp://WinkingJesus.com
I've been touched by JESUS!!!
Please point to the parts of the doll where you've been touched by Jesus.
uuuhhhhhhh

 

by winkingjesus
2-05-02
htp://www.Winkingjesus.com
wink
O my god that was so gr8 i luv u jesus man but ive got 1 question 4 u i hope u can help. If you are so great how come your dead?
Smart Ass

 

by winkingjesus
3-22-02
wink
My life has not been altered,
but that wink did prompt me to consider how many of my precious life-minutes I blow on crap like this.

 

by winkingjesus
9-03-02
A satanist visits WinkingJesus.com
wink
Did he?
Yes Master, Jesus did wink at me. I'm sorry my Dark Lord!!!
He could've lied! Stupid peon.

 

by winkingjesus
9-03-02
What's your excuse THIS time?
I'm sorry boss
Instead of devoting all my free time to spreading the miracle of your wink to internet sinners, I've been drinking, smoking pot, and making hot monkey love to complete strangers.
Groovy!
Thank you Sir.

 

by winkingjesus
3-21-03
Johosephat visits WinkingJesus.com
Yes its true....he winked at me...
but after I clicked refresh and he did it again I realized that either I am the holiest man alive or Jesus is just stupid.

 

by winkingjesus
3-21-03
Rasputin visits WinkingJesus.com
I haven't seen a bigger case of religious fraud since Satan took a dive in the first round on South Park.
May you all burn in H-E-double tounge depressors for your blasphemy.

 

by winkingjesus
3-21-03
Christina visits WinkingJesus.com
wink
I've been winked at. My life has meaning, Jesus H. Christ winked at me. Next time you talk to him tell him I like him as a friend but I'm not ready to get involved in anything serious.
But he does have great abs!!

 

by winkingjesus
3-21-03
Scot visits WinkingJesus.com
I've been a non-believer for a long time. I clicked on WinkingJesus.com for a laugh.
Then, as I was sitting, taking a wee nip of whiskey, Jesus winked at me. I fell on the floor and started speaking in tongues.
When I was done with that, I just sat there, overwhelmed by The Spirit. It was a truly amazing, and life altering moment in my, well, life.

 

by winkingjesus
6-07-03
http://www.WinkingJesus.com
wink
The best thing in the world would be if Jesus came back to life..
..or if McDonalds served breakfast past 10:30, either way, Id be happy.
Moses is Mexican, Mary is a black handicapped conservative Jew and Jesus is gay. I mean come on, those sandals are G A Y

 

by winkingjesus
3-04-04
Rev. Chance started WinkingJesus.com with noble intentions, but has lost sight of his original aspirations, and has allowed the Prince of Darkness (no, not Ozzie) to become his ruler.
Also, I was told by a very reliable source that a WACTHTOWER magazine fell out of his car door once when he stopped to get gas and a Playboy Mag. at a BP station in Midland, Texas, June, 2003.
The Scientology warnings at the bottom of WinkingJesus.com are just a ruse to throw us off. Didn't think anybody was watching your climb to total depravity, did you Jonny?

 

by winkingjesus
5-16-04
wink
I used to be a corporate lawyer earning $120,000 a year, drove a BMW M3, had a beautiful supermodel wife and 4 houses.
After seeing Jesus winking at me I was kicked out of my firm, my car was repossessed, my wife divorced me and...
all 4 houses got robbed and destroyed by malevolent geese farmers. Thanks Winking Jesus, now I have less than nothing!

 

by winkingjesus
1-26-05
Lately I have begun to question my faith. Today as I was googling for porn I came across the winking jesus site.
"What better way to prove gods love then going to a shifty site" I asked myself. Eyes eager with joy I clicked the link and jesus winked at me.
I fell out of my chair in amazement but luckily the stash of weed I keep around my computer cusioned my fall. PAISE THE LORD I shouted and with that I decided to become a jew.

 

by winkingjesus
1-26-05
deep into the darkness peering
oh what to do, oh where to look and thought to myself, "god damn I need to drive a ford"
and then he winked at me

 

by winkingjesus
1-26-05
I am now trembling from head to toe. Jesus winked at me just as I was taking a bite of my grilled cheese sandwich. And, LO! There on the grilled cheese sandwich was a picture of a toe. Jesus's toe.
I am sure it is a sign but am not yet sure of what. I will save the sandwich for years and years. Maybe one day it will come to me just what the purpose of the sandwich with Jesus's toe on it means.
Otherwise, I'll sell it on ebay where they seem to know better than I about these things.

 

by winkingjesus
5-15-05
TiddlyWinkS visits Winingjesus.com
wink
He winked!
Since then I'd won the lottery, dragged myself outa the gutter, got a clean pair of undies for the first time in my adult life,
and am now sipping champagne and having hot sex on the beaches of Cancun!

 

by winkingjesus
5-15-05
wink
My life has been changed for ever!
Before I found this incredible page, I was into pornography and rock and roll.
Now, ever since I saw Jesus wink at me, I am not longer into rock and roll!

 

by winkingjesus
9-19-05
I got a winking from the Jesus man
immediately my cubicle turned into an office
and my boss turned into a water cooler...thank you Winking Jesus!

 

by winkingjesus
9-19-05
Jesus winked at me, and the next day my friend died in a car crash.
I hated Jesus. Then, they found out my "friend" was really going to kill me and eat me for food.
Now I love Jesus! Thanks Jesus for winking at me!

 

by winkingjesus
9-19-05
Jesus did wink at me.
No longer will I use my now blessed computer for masturbatory purposes.
What could be more blasphemous than using a sacred item, (now that it has been touched by our lord), for the pursuits of self abuse?

 

by winkingjesus
9-19-05
It was amazing , I saw it! and it only did it everytime I refreshed the page.
From now on I'm gonna stop sinning, and buy your miracle cream hand soap!
As soon as I get it I'm gonna spread it all over my penis, and use it as smackle for the deep crevases of my ass.

 

by winkingjesus
9-23-05
wink
Jesus winked at me!
I can hardly believe it, that I a lowly farm boy from Peckham chosen by his Jesusness to witness this blessed sight.
I have not seen such a miracle since watching "Nuns on the Run" starring Eric Idle and Robbie Coltrane.

 

by winkingjesus
6-01-06
Many have asked what happened to WinkingJesus.com
Hi, I'm Rev. Jonathan C. Chance. I'm here to tell you a little story.
Once a upon a time a bunch of right wing wacked out freaks took over the government and gave huge tax breaks to the rich. I'm not one of the them.
I had to remove The Miraculous Winking Jesus because I could no long pay the bills. Don't blame me or the Winking Jesus, blame George W. Bush!

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