All comics by wizard1

Profile

 

by wizard1
7-23-02
Devguys Daily Thought
Why am I doing this?
Cuz it's fun.....
Fun? In what way?
Erm for all the appreciation you recieve from a gratefull user base...
Inspiration... loads of inpisration...
We the players does DEMAND that the following outrageous infractions against our unbreakable rights be immediately and without delay be prioritized, fixed, solved and besides that this list of ......

 

by wizard1
7-29-02
Oh the Joys of Gamemaking...
Finaly New Season started.
Damn FTV get that USSM u suck! Gottcha! Kablowie! Pow!
BOOM!?! What the Hell was that? How did u get that huge battleship? What u mean u found an Exploit?!? You made HOW much???
You Cheater! No YOU Cheat! I Didnt! You Cheater! No YOU Cheat! You Cheater! No YOU Cheat! You Cheater! No YOU Cheat! You Cheater! No YOU Cheat! You Cheater! No YOU Cheat! You Cheater! ...
I'm Going home...

 

by wizard1
8-04-02
An Ordinary DevGuy On His Way to Dive Into the ME codebase
Sometime I wonder why I do this... there got to be a reason!
Loading ME....
function bryanmeish($urghl){(/&#%(/&"(/(//return false;}function vrmandsmorkish($ooops){ return ()/¤#/¤/&"%""!} ERROR Wizish code encountered! Middyish Bzzz zzzzt ..
I guess reasons are overrated...

 

by wizard1
8-04-02
The Admin finds a Newbie lost in space
Help ! ! !
Did you read the manual? Did you read the survival guide? Did you check the forum? Did you ask on IRC? Did you ask the other players? What did you Do?
No. No. No. No. No. I messaged you privately 55 times.
Oops! I slipped...

 

by wizard1
8-04-02
An Ordinary IRC Session
BEEP! BEEP! Incomming Private IRC Message #346847466! From Player #7441 "Hello! You There?"
In a bedroom far far away
Yes?
OHHH MY GOD! I have a direct line to the admins... OMG! I OWN the World!
*) L337 is Gibberish for Elite.
* SIGH *
Hello I'd like some special favours since I'm so L337* and can use an IRC client and can pop up little windows on your screen. A BattleShip with extra shields would be sufficient.

 

by wizard1
8-04-02
19:28:56 A DevGuy Accidently Commits Some Bad Code... Hell Ensues!
BEEP! BEEP! Incomming Private IRC Message #346847466! From Player #7441 "Found a Bug"
BEEP! BEEP! Incomming Private IRC Message #346847467! From Player #1231 "Found a Bug"
BEEP! BEEP! Incomming Private IRC Message #346847468! From Player #3321 "Found a Bug"
BEEP! BEEP! Incomming Private IRC Message #346847469! From Player #4061 "Found a Bug"
Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Close Ahrghl! Weee Fun!

 

by wizard1
8-05-02
An Everyday Event...
This Game Sucks, It's Sooo Slooow! We Spend Hours Every Damn Day Playing This Lousy Game. Fix it NOW!
Sure! I need a better server. Can u donate some so I can go buy better hardware?
Incomming Email: Donation Recieved $6.38
Ok I Guess I wont Be Quitting My Day Job Anytime Soon...

 

by wizard1
8-07-02
In the Developers Only IRC Channel...
I have decided we freeze the features to the current level and keep working with bugs only for now.
#> Ok But... I already am...
What?
#> Well ... For every new feature I implement I get new bugs....
#> Wiz.... Wiiiiiz... You still there? Wiiiz?

 

by wizard1
8-07-02
Later In the Developers Only IRC Channel...
Jerico> I am bored
Fix some bugs
*** Jerico (Jerico@serf-54934.bre.cable.ntl.com) Quit (Quit: )
I wish they at least tried to pretend to look busy!

 

by wizard1
8-07-02
An Everyday ME Player IRC Session...
You are. Am not! You are. Am not!You are. Am not!You are. Am not!You are. Am not!You are. Am not!You are. Am not!
What now?
CoolBlade> Smork Tell them i am not a multi
Which one of your accounts do you mean?
You are. Am not!You are. Am not!You are. Am not!You are. Am not!You are. Am not!You are. Am not!You are. Am not!
Nevermind....

 

by wizard1
10-23-03
Discoveries
What the heck... How?
function generateuniverse() { // TODO: finish asap }
Uhm maybe we should finish this thing soon...
We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME! We want our ME!

 

by wizard1
10-23-03
Rapid Development Method
Hello, are you guys done Yet?... Hellooo... anyone...

 

by wizard1
10-31-03
WizardOne listens to a player complaining...
This is horrible! Everyone tells me You really need to fix ships, base, attack, alliance and movement code!!! You really cant keep it like this! Really!
PHP, Python, C & Bash for Dummies
Wonder why Wiz gave me these URLs to read?
You done with the fix of ships, base, attack, alliance and movement code yet?
I *must* learn to shut up! I *must* learn to shut up! I *must* learn to shut up! I *must* learn to shut up! I *must* learn to shut up! I *must* learn to shut up! I *must* learn to shut up! I *must* ..

 

by wizard1
11-02-03
Wiz infront of the ME app server...
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Later
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Much much later...
Zzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *pling* Done!

 

by wizard1
11-17-03
Originality....
SUGGESTION BOX: You have 998 messages all marked Urgent...
Message #1: Could you change this, this and this, ofcourse you moved this over there and changed this to that /PlayerA
Zzzzz
Message #238: Could you change this, this and this, ofcourse you moved this over there and changed this to that /PlayerZ

 

by wizard1
12-19-03
#devguys
Guys... You ready to release the game yet?
No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes!
#me
*sigh*
Test Game Full Game Test Game Full Game Test Game Full Game Test Game Full Game Test Game Full Game
Yet another ME launch filled with tradition...

 

by wizard1
12-20-03
Lightning fast system
Whoohoo finally top tuned!
Zummmmmm
Ready, Set,
Let the Game begin!
ZUMMMMMM
GO!
*sigh* Why do I keep doing this?
Hey where did the game go!?

 

by wizard1
12-27-03
WizardOne beholds his super tuned Database server...
Day 2
Day 4...

 

by wizard1
3-04-04
The joy of Economics
&%#¤% Electricity Bills!!
BEEP: Payment done! Current balance $0.79. Thank you for using Acme Internet Bank.
The Joy of Player Interaction
Incomming_Message: (R***) Why dont you care about the players, you know you would have alot more Gold Members if you just cared! Hmpf! You suck! We wont play anymore...
The Joy of... erm... nevermind.
*sigh*
Incomming_Message: (R***) Why does it take so long to fix everything... bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla trading bla bla bla bla bla bla bla combat bla bla bla bla ...

 

by wizard1
10-21-04
23:30 Network is Down
The page you tried to reach is unreachable *BEEP* NetMon: Your Servers are Down! *BEEP*
23:31 Customer Support is Down
Customer Support is available from nine thirty to Half past nine.
23:32 Computer is Erm... Down...
!¤%"#¤!

 

by wizard1
10-22-04
21:00 Game Is UP!
Ahh all is well...
Die FTV Scum.. No *YOU* die! No Die FTV Scum.. No *YOU* die! No Die FTV Scum.. No *YOU* die!
22:50 Game Is... erm...
Network Timeout
22:55 *sigh*
*SOB* !%¤#"¤"!
"ISP Customer Support is STILL only open between half past nine and nine thirty... go away"

 

by wizard1
10-22-04
21:00 Game Is UP!
Ahh all is well...
Die FTV Scum.. No *YOU* die! No Die FTV Scum.. No *YOU* die! No Die FTV Scum.. No *YOU* die!
22:50 Game Is... erm...
Network Timeout
22:55 *sigh*
*SOB* !%¤#"¤"!
"ISP Customer Support is STILL only open between half past nine and nine thirty... go away"

 

by wizard1
2-05-05
A Normal Day in The ME Universe
DIE FTV SCUM! *KABLOWIE* NO You DIE! *bang* HA HA I Got... wtf?!
Uhm...
Uh oh...
Connection Timed out Netcreen Firewall Not Responding...
Life is just Grand...
@#!¤%!!
Firewall Guy: Im sick as a dog call me in the morning! Customer Support: *beep* Your call will be answerred in a few hours...

 

by wizard1
4-09-05
Normal Day in #devguys
Chat: Ok at least we dont need redundancy on the Database side yet, but we do need it on the game servers...
5 minutes later
Uh ohh!
Chat: Uhmmm guys Game is down!
aint life grand....
*sigh* of course not, it's the only thing we dont have redundancy for...
Chat: Cant reach the DB Server!

 

by wizard1
4-14-06
The Joy of Upgrades
Ahhh Finally!!!
MySQL Installation Complete!
Weeee!
Database Transfer to New Server Complete!
*sigh*
Benchmark confirms Sites being 5 times slower than before migration... Test Complete. Thank you!

 

by wizard1
9-04-06
Erm...
...
I Luve U Wiz!
Wiz now remember why he dont do this everyday anymore
...
!

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