All comics by A2k3fest

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by A2k3fest
12-09-08
LOOK AT ME YOU FUCK!
This Persimmon salad is awful
I have something to tell you son...
You do, do you? Alright, tell me "Taint-face"
BUCK WEAR HAT - RELEASE DEER
LOL

 

by A2k3fest
12-09-08
Fozzie the Bear makes a critical error whereby he is driving on Quaaludes
Ooops that prolly hurt, lol
Hi, my name is Johnald Frobb (Esq.) I saw the accident...
!!!!
Luckily Cthulhu came along and ate the crime scene, whereby, technically "nothing" "happened"
MUAHAHAHAHAHA MUAHAHAHAHAHA

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
Mike, let me ask you something: Do you think about Indian/midget/lesbian porn ALL DAY LONG?
Yes. In fact, in my dreams, they are wrestling as well...
I'll bet they are, you fucker.

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
"Verily, I attack with Pointy Stick"
*shakes dice* 1d6=3
"Verily", you're a "butthole".
..and by "butthole" do you mean: a dirty sluice from which excrement may issue forth?
Verily.

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
I don't like you.
"Hat" doesn't like you either.
"Hat" has the death sentence on 13 systems.

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
Describe me in two words.
"Dumpy", "Hatty"
You don't say...
I DO say actually...
I was going to say "Blumpy" and "Spewey", but whatever. It is what it is...
I took a dump into this coffee mug. What do you think of THAT, genius...

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
(jacking off)oooooohhh oooooooooohh
OMG he's whacking off in public!
(jacking even harder) OOOOOOHHHHHHHH OOOOOOOOOHHH
YOU REALIZE I CAN SEE YOU RIGHT?!
Bunnyman finishes...
...aaaaaand that's what you call, "Handing out 'Business Cards'".
You've got some of your "Business Cards" in my hair! Now i'm going to have to clean myself up in the water at the bottom of the Port-O-Potty. BRB...

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
Sgt. Cthulhu, what's your assessment of the situation?
I'm horrified, quite frankly... there's lots of "Gay" at this scene...
Alright. I'll bite. How can you tell?
There's "Business Cards" everywhere.
BADA BING

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
*BLARGHHHHHHHHH*
AHHHH WTF!!!
I don't remember getting a "golden shower"
PEE. STANK. SKANK.
What a handsome "Pimp Owl" he is :)

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
HEY LOOK OVER THERE!!!
!!! Wha- WHAT???
BEND OVER!! HERE COMES XMAS!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
Jerry Christmas- Handing out ass beatings one-at-a-time
I swear I heard something.
EAT GRAVITY HAMMER NUUUBZORZZZ!!!!!!!!1!!

 

by A2k3fest
12-10-08
Jerry Christmas' sarcastic concern for women's issues
...so then my "labia" collapsed outward upon itself and caused a black hole.
-yeah, yeah, yeah and now it looks like "Roast 'Beast'"
Floppy. Dark. Purple. Roast. Beast.

 

by A2k3fest
12-11-08
Wow, this little girl isn't "hot" at all...
...scuse' me mister, didja see th' ice creams truck? :):):)
How would you like a job? Hmmm? You'd be working 3rd shift BTW...

 

by A2k3fest
12-11-08
Hey Nancy. How would you like to come to my "workbench" and handle my "business cards"? Hmmmmm????
I'll send my friend Baloney.. he's good with his hands...

 

by A2k3fest
12-11-08
Oldie but a goodie...
...so last night I did a "SHIT-TONNE" of damage to my liver.
I did a "SHIT-TONNE" of damage to your mom's ANUS last night...
"shit-tonne" + mom + anus + dmg = ???
Dad???
YES? lol

 

by A2k3fest
12-11-08
What color is this shirt?
Periwinkle?
??
Here, i'll spell it out for you: PERI-FUCKIN-WINKLE
sup..........FAG

 

by A2k3fest
12-12-08
Hi Santa! I'm Albert!
I know who you are. You've been bad. You've been VERY BAD.
...for instance: I know that you have NOT been flushing your shit down the toilet...
That's true! I like to share Santa!
You. Ruined. Christmas.

 

by A2k3fest
12-12-08
I'm St. Francois. Patron Saint of fun and games!
Would you like to play a game? HMMMMM?????
I'm kind of stuck here...I guess we could play some word gam-
Lets's play: YOU'RE GONNA EAT KITTY'S RED TURDS!!!! OPEN WIDE SHIT-MOUTH

 

by A2k3fest
12-12-08
I'm the ketchup inspector.
You shant expect to get in between me and my ketchup.
I don't expect to stop you. I can only hope to contain you.
Verily, I will get my ketchup.

 

by A2k3fest
12-12-08
Space
and boobs.

 

by A2k3fest
12-12-08
IMA CHARGIN MAH PORK SWORDZ
***SPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH***
NOW UR TEH GHEY LOLZ
sup..........FAG

 

by A2k3fest
12-15-08
Let me run an idea by you: Onion Donuts
I hate onions.
Onion "Popovers"?
I hate onions.
Onion parfait...
I hate YOU.

 

by A2k3fest
12-16-08
OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. Kid, ALL YOU DO IS SHIT! Honey, watch your brother while I go get the bourbon...
Here baby. Have some Magnesium Citrate.
29 minutes later..."digestive 'excitement'"
OOOOOMMMMGGGG NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

by A2k3fest
12-16-08
How much can?
What
How much can? HMMMMMMM???
How much "can", what? That doesn't even make sense...
How much won't?
*sigh* Are you going to urinate on me now? Or what...

 

by A2k3fest
12-17-08
Grandma is enjoying some "alone time"...
*knock knock*..hey grandma let's make some xmas cookies!
omg omg omg omg yes yes YES YES!!
hey grand- OOOOOOMMMMMGGGGGG!!!!! *BLEEEEEAAAAAGHHHH!!!* ..... *BLLEEEEEAAAGGGHHH!!!*
!!!!!!!
GRANDMA, LET ME KNOW THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE "PLAYING THE BANJO"!!!!
Awesome. Now I can "finish"!

 

by A2k3fest
12-17-08
*BLEEEAAGGGHH!!*
*BLEEEEAGGGHH!!!*
*BLEEEAGHHHH!!!!*
BITCH?! YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE PUKING "PEE" ALL OVER THE PLACE IN THERE!!!!!

 

by A2k3fest
12-17-08
OMG WHAT DID YOU DO????
what
OOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGG!!!!!!
LOL
YOUUUUUU RUIIINNNED CHRISTMAAAAAASSSS!!!!
I knew you were going to say thaaaaaat lol

 

by A2k3fest
12-17-08
Hey dude! Sweet knit cap!
Fuck yourself! Dude!
!!!
...AND THE "CHRISTMAS" YOU RODE IN ON!!!!
I. AM. "CHRISTMAS".
lol

 

by A2k3fest
12-19-08
The finest Lambs-woolen "penis-towels": $39.95
Sheeps-silk "Clams-Woobys" fit for a queen: $39.95
Making sure your "secret bits" are warm this Xmas season... Priceless

 

by A2k3fest
12-19-08
Has anyone seen my wrinkled sack of "shit-towels"?
Don't you mean: Your wrinkly satchel of "shit-paper"?
No. I mean: Where is Uncle Adam's tussled tote of "shit-shammys"
Oh those.. I have em'...

 

by A2k3fest
12-19-08
May I help you?
Why yes! Good sir gentleman- might I inquire about some sheeps-silken "clams-woobies"?
*singing*
claaaams-woobies...they're my favorite thing to weaar...they're dry, they're neat, they're a hoot, they're a treat! They won't "finish" in your haaaair....
Sir, this is Pet Smart.
You don't say..

 

by A2k3fest
12-19-08
guesswhat guesswhat guesswhat?? :):):)
What honey???
Grandma wants to teach me how to play the "banjo"!!
Honey that's gre- WHAT?!!? OMG THATS DISGUSTI-- *BLEAAAAGHHH!!!!* *BLEAAAAGGHH!!!* *BLLLLLEAAAGH!!*
PSA Crab for Stripcreator.com
Hey kids, PSA crab here... don't skimp on the taboo sex jokes and puking in your comic creations this holiday season! Your nearest and dearest loved ones will thank you for it!

 

by A2k3fest
12-22-08
There. I've done it! I've decided on my Top 3 "Faves" stripcreator.com comic authors...
It shall be my semi-permanent shrine to whom's comics I "not-so-secretly" admire...
eeeeewwwwwwwwww...
Kind of like my "shit-station", where I have enshrined my Top 3 favorite "Excretory offerings"

 

by A2k3fest
12-22-08
Xmas morning...
ORLY??!! AWESOOOOOOOME!!!!! A "DINGLEBERRY REMOVING KIT"
<3 <3 <3
Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Can I go right up to the "shitter" and use it right away???? :):):):):)
I suppose ;););)
*sob* this is the best xmas ever...
OMG!!!!! YOU GOT ME "CLAMS-WOOBIES" :):):)

 

by A2k3fest
12-22-08
Dingleberry removal instructions. Step 1: Carefully wrap penis in swaddling "penis-cloths" for warmth and protection.
Step 2: Gingerly and liberally apply "dingleberry-creams" to anus area.
Step 3: Assemble and installSpecial adult diaper. "Dingleberries" will be solved in 6-8 weeks. Kickass.

 

by A2k3fest
12-22-08
Baloney the "Sexual touching monster"
Hey fella, it looks like that briefcase is kinda heavy, can I help you carry it? HMMMMMMM????
I'ts not heavy. DON'T TOUCH ME! AHH!!
EEWW. I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU!!
FAG
Hey pally, looks like you're kinda stuck there! :):):):)
NOOOOOOOOOOO

 

by A2k3fest
12-23-08
Here's an idea from a co-worker of mine.
What are you doing in there?
I'm playing "dress-up" with my "vag"...
There. It looks just like a Geisha...
No you're not! YOU'RE TAKING A SHIT!
You can't "take" a shit. You can "leave" a shit tho lol... but anywho, trust me... i'm playing with my "banjo".

 

by A2k3fest
12-23-08
How much xmas?
Lord help me...
Look here, you retarded, shit-colored, urine-guzzling, donkey-fucking, bunny-cock licking, poor excuse for a-
How much do? HMMMMMM?????
*SIGH* 10.

 

by A2k3fest
12-30-08
*BLEARRRRRRRRT*
lol
Honey, CSI:Miami is on- OMG THAT IS THE MOST AWFUL "WIND" I HAVE EVER SMELLED!!! DID YOU MAKE THAT??!
I may have... *snicker*
IT SMELLS LIKE A DEAD BABY COVERED IN ROTTEN EGGS AND DEAD BABIES!!! *BLEEAAAAGHHHH*

 

by A2k3fest
1-05-09
Baloney - Sexual Touching Monster
Hi Baconman! Would you curl up into a "butthole" shape for me?? :):):):):)
what
Fuck you.
As sexually attracted to you as I am, there is nowhere to put my penis "in"...
Oh you! Come here pally!
OMG. WHO SAID THAT?! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE TURN ME AROUND!!! AHHHHHH@!@!@

 

by A2k3fest
1-09-09
omg the servers are hot! HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!
OMG! What do we do?
Shut down all the garbage compactors on the detention level!!
SHUT DOWN ALL THE GARBAGE COMPACTORS ON THE DETENTION LEVEL!!!
God, we're nerdy...
Not me, I paid for sex last night

 

by A2k3fest
1-09-09
I think this recession is "the bomb"...
Whatever you say "hotdog tits".
I mean, the nudie-book stores are literally giving away "game film".
I'm "giving away" 13 inches to your mom's "furry hole" tonight.
Are you even listening to me?!?
I am going to "spray" diarrhea all over your feelings.

 

by A2k3fest
1-12-09
I'm going to have sex with "time".
what
Does "time" even have a "vagina"?!
You bet your sweet ass it does! :^D It has a GIANT, HAIRY, BLACK, VAGINA.

 

by A2k3fest
1-12-09
??? These jeans have "FART-STAINS" IN THEM!! DAMMITTTTT!!! :(:(:(
FUCK IT!!!!!! IMMA. WEAR 'EM. ANYHOW!!!!
Why are you smiling like that? OMG you're wearing the "fart-stained" jeans aren't you?!
;^D

 

by A2k3fest
1-13-09
Grandma is enjoying some more "alone-time"...
oh yes oh yes ahhh ahhaa
OOOOOHHH YEAAAHHHH!!!!! *SPSHHHHHHHHH*
Grandma?? Is everything alright? Thank God you left this door op----
*SPSHHHHHHHHHHH*
AIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! OOOOMMMMGHG WHAT IS THAT?!?!IT'S ALL OVER MY FACE!!!!!!! *BLEEEAAAAGH!!!* *BLEEAGGHGHG!!!*

 

by A2k3fest
1-13-09
Jimbo McNelly, Operations Mgr.
OMG!!! I HAAATE PEOPLE!!! I HATE THIS OFFICE!!!!!
What seems to be the problem here?? First of all, Calm. Down. Nothing is accomplished by yelling. WE can work on this. Together. :):):)
I HATE THIS JOOOOOB!!!!! I SET MY PHONE ON FIRE! I HAAAATE YOU!!!!
I'm very sorry to hear that. Let's talk about our feelings. Walk with me.
Wanna hit "Sluggs" for happy hour?
I've told you before, that drinking, is bad. I'm taking my family to church and dinner tonight.

 

by A2k3fest
1-13-09
*sob* ...and then, I was "touched" in the ass by his fingers in an upward "scooping-motion" *sob*
There, there... we're not going to stop until this is made right. We're going to catch this bastard!
2 days later...
*sob* ...so then as I was "falling", he caught my ass with his hand in "claw-shape"...*sob*
This is no laughing matter now! We will start an internal investigation immediately!
2 MINUTES later...
*sob*...then, he came at my balls with BOTH HANDS in "tickling-motions"...*sob*
Oh! My heavens! He is a MONSTER isn't he?? I'm going to pray extra hard tonight for this wayward soul!

 

by A2k3fest
1-14-09
So what is McNabb gonna do to make an ass of himself this Sunday??
Hmm? Oh, let's ask the cat. Cat, your answer?
Collegiate Fight Song Playing in the background...
Cat thinks McNabb has a Vagina.
AWWW CUZ!!!! THE CAT HAS SPOKEN!! THE CAT HAS MADE IT'S PREDICTION!!!

 

by A2k3fest
1-19-09
I'm scared of being on the toilet by myself... i'm not a "Big-Boy" yet. :(:(:(
How would you like to be my "shit-buddy"? HMMMM???? :):):)
Haha! Oh... you're serious...
...and then you sit on my lap, forming a "shit-tower"...
Where do I sign??? Can we hold hands??? :):):)

 

by A2k3fest
1-19-09
...so let me get this straight. You're going to pull down your pants, and then sit down on the potty...
Yep.
...then i'm going to pull down my pants, sit on your lap, and shit in-between your legs? While you're shitting too?
Yep.
Well, that doesn't sound gay at all!
Not unless we make eye contact. ;););)

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