Top Rated Comics Archive

This static page shows every comic captured in sc_toprated_comics when the archive was generated.

1. Who Moved My Movement?

by AccentuateNegative on December 15, 2015
Rating: 8.21 (14 votes)

Who Moved My Movement? by AccentuateNegative 12-15-15
We've been at it all night and we still can't find the cheese. We'll never find it in this maze.	I smell something around the corner. Freedom?	If they aren't out in ten minutes, I'm sending in the cat.

2. Too Close to Home

by Hari_Nezumi on October 29, 2010
Rating: 9.41 (17 votes)

Too Close to Home by Hari_Nezumi 10-29-10
Alright, your Dungeons and Dragons character is almost done. You just need to name him. Hmm, well, I picked this race of devil-like people. What kind of names do they normally have?	Well, they pick their own names when they turn 16 based on their goal in life. This character is based on you, so where does he eventually want to end up?	And what is your name, stranger? They call me Third Base.

3. CC676: Abducted

by evil_d on September 28, 2017
Rating: 9 (10 votes)

CC676: Abducted by evil_d 9-28-17
Please don't be alarmed. We merely need to run a few tests to update our data on your species.	Are you going to use one of those anal probes on me? Oh heavens no. Those are old technology.	Oh, thank god. These urethral probes are much more sophisticated.

4. Entitled

by Murica on August 22, 2014
Rating: 9.13 (23 votes)

Entitled by Murica 8-22-14
Hey, mister. Watcha doing? I'm dying for your sins.	Cool! Can I have a turn on the cross? No, I'm sorry. I must suffer this fate alone.	Are you the son of a bitch that won't let my daughter play on the cross?

5. I've Got You Pegged

by four_legged_tripod on October 2, 2017
Rating: 8.13 (8 votes)

I've Got You Pegged by four_legged_tripod 10-02-17
Why are you so happy all the time? I love my wife!	Really? Sure do! We have anal sex all the time!	Wow! That sounds amazing! Sure is! We do it so much, I think we may have worn out the strap-on!

6. Dogma

by choadwarrior on September 8, 2007
Rating: 9 (10 votes)

Dogma by choadwarrior 9-08-07
GRRRRRRR! Be not afraid. I am your messiah-- Dog Jesus.	What are you doing here? To atone for your sins.	So that stain I just made on the carpet? It's fine with me, but Dog Pope is going to rub your nose in it.

7. I wood die for you 2005

by kramer_vs_kramer on January 27, 2005
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

I wood die for you 2005 by kramer_vs_kramer 1-27-05
Well hello there. I see you're admiring my baby. You may have noticed he is sculpted out of wood.	Realistic, isn't he? I modelled him on my sadly deceased infant son.	Unfortunately, my wife was able to tell the difference straight away.

8. King Kong Balls

by choadwarrior on November 15, 2006
Rating: 9.29 (14 votes)

King Kong Balls by choadwarrior 11-15-06
...so then the Chinaman says... "Why you want broccorri beef?"	OH! Did I tell you that joke already? I heard it from a sixth grader.	You let kids tell dirty, racist jokes like that to you? I was in sixth grade too.

9. Snow Wonder Continued

by four_legged_tripod on December 31, 2014
Rating: 9.25 (20 votes)

Snow Wonder Continued by four_legged_tripod 12-31-14
Now you're a snowman.	Now you're a snow woman.	Now you're a snowman again. Next time you take it off, no hands.

10. CC: 642 - I'll drink to that!

by Porternotes on May 5, 2016
Rating: 9.23 (13 votes)

CC: 642 - I'll drink to that! by Porternotes 5-05-16
It seems like you're upset with me. The fact is, you've been drinking too much and if you don't stop I'm taking the kids and leaving you.	I can't believe what I'm hearing. I've never been more serious in my life.	You'd actually do that for me? Fuck you.

11. Another Bump in the Road

by choadwarrior on November 19, 2016
Rating: 9.17 (6 votes)

Another Bump in the Road by choadwarrior 11-19-16
I'm not sure where you stand on the rights of disabled people. The cripples love me.	What did you just say? I don't know, maybe you're deaf too, but I said the cripples love me.	Don't make me roll over your toes. I'm going to build a curb.

12. It's the Principle of the Matter

by Bull_Moose on April 17, 2009
Rating: 8.5 (10 votes)

It's the Principle of the Matter by Bull_Moose 4-17-09
I need your advice. I have a client who wants to fight over a $1000 difference in a settlement offer.	I told him it will cost him at least $20,000 to go to trial, so he should just cut his losses and take the offer.	But he won't listen. He says it's the principle of the matter. What should I do? What should you do? Start looking at sports cars. Stupid fights over principle is where we make our money.

13. Randumfum (comic 1395): Random Thoughts

by umfumdisi on August 11, 2008
Rating: 8.64 (11 votes)

Randumfum (comic 1395): Random Thoughts by umfumdisi 8-11-08
Should I steal her purse or help her cross the street?		Should I cane him in the eyes or the nuts?

14. Five Year Mission

by choadwarrior on August 10, 2008
Rating: 9.13 (46 votes)

Five Year Mission by choadwarrior 8-10-08
My tricorder has run out of power; can you scan these rocks for all the things a tricorder seems to do? I don't have a tricorder.	Dude, you're like the captain. How can you not have a tricorder? I got a bicorder back when they were new.	Now I'm locked into a two-year plan and can't upgrade.

15. Lets Make A Snowman

by LittleRocker on January 31, 2011
Rating: 9.17 (18 votes)

Lets Make A Snowman by LittleRocker 1-31-11
Final carrot, where would you like it?	We could pretend its a dick! hahaha! ok	I'd like it up my ass

16. One part the Führer, one part the Pope.

by KajunFirefly on February 25, 2015
Rating: 9.23 (13 votes)

One part the Führer, one part the Pope. by KajunFirefly 2-25-15
Where the fuck have you been, you used to be on this site every day? I started getting regular sex so I didn't have time for this place any more.	You're back now though? Yep.	Congratulations on the wedding. Thanks.

17. I-ZAK

by gabe_billings on September 20, 2001
Rating: 9.03 (31 votes)

I-ZAK by gabe_billings 9-20-01
The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club. Oh yeah? Well the first law of robotics says that a robot may not harm a human being, or through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.	Really? Damn straight.	You're out.

18. Three alarm

by mandingo on February 15, 2008
Rating: 9.02 (61 votes)

Three alarm by mandingo 2-15-08
please! save the jewelry! it's been passed down for generations!	please! save the stock certificates! they're worth thousands!	i'm sorry, ma'am, i couldn't find any of those things. but look who i did find! why would i want their cat?

19. Why Ancient Rome never developed a space program

by kaufman on October 21, 2016
Rating: 9.12 (17 votes)

Why Ancient Rome never developed a space program by kaufman 10-21-16
X, IX, VIII, VII, VI, V, IV, III, II, I, ...	Oh shit. We have no number for zero.	Guess we need to scrub the launch.

20. Lightbulb Jokes I've Enjoyed #1

by ZMannZilla on July 4, 2010
Rating: 8.75 (16 votes)

Lightbulb Jokes I've Enjoyed #1

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.

by ZMannZilla, 7-04-10

21. How Was Your Day?

by Hatrix on January 30, 2007
Rating: 8.24 (17 votes)

How Was Your Day?

Yeah hi. It's your time Dick Crapperson. Oh, I found this letter in the mail box. Wanna read it before you go? Congratulations! You have won fifty million dollars.

by Hatrix, 1-30-07

22. How to help your new Asian roommate get acclimated:

by ekramona on February 24, 2008
Rating: 7.5 (12 votes)

How to help your new Asian roommate get acclimated: by ekramona 2-24-08
Would you like something to eat? I know in your country you sit on the floor, but here we use "chairs." Oh, and you may wish to eat with sticks, but here we use a "fork."	Now once in a while you may want to celebrate an occasion, but it is not always necessary to dress up like a dragon. And even if you want to "play joke" please only pee pee in the toilet.	Would you like to play a game of checkers? You might be accustomed to checkers in a star shape, but here our board is "square." Um, is my deposit refundable?

23. Porkman & Finchy Are Better Than The Dumb Rules To This CC

by ZMannZilla on May 13, 2019
Rating: 7.5 (6 votes)

Porkman & Finchy Are Better Than The Dumb Rules To This CC by ZMannZilla 5-13-19
Holy Cursewords Porkman! Joe Blough's latest Comic Competition DARES us to offend people! So, it's a Stripcreator Comic Competition with no actual rules then.	No, you don't understand! THIS one specifically demands that we be offensive and- Stripcreator in 2019 is essentially six dumb insecure crackers re-telling the same three shitty jokes they heard on Howard Stern! BEING OFFENSIVE ISN'T A CC RULE, IT'S THE FUCKING BASELINE!	Ouch, dude. That was uncalled for. You think so? Gosh, I hope I offended that racist sexist needle-dick bootlicking cucktard Joe Blough just enough to win!!!

24. Snow Wonder 3

by four_legged_tripod on March 5, 2019
Rating: 5.63 (8 votes)

Snow Wonder 3 by four_legged_tripod 3-05-19
Ha! Now you're a snow woman again! Why don't you come real close, look me straight in the eyes and see what happens?	_______________________________________________________________________	You didn't have to shove it so far up in there! You're MY snow woman now, rabbitch!

25. Numbers Game

by four_legged_tripod on April 16, 2018
Rating: 7.86 (7 votes)

Numbers Game by four_legged_tripod 4-16-18
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven, "ate", nine.	Ha! It's funny, isn't it? I guess. Do you why ten died?	No. He got caught in the middle of nine eleven.

26. Dilly Dilly

by four_legged_tripod on March 29, 2018
Rating: 7.5 (8 votes)

Dilly Dilly by four_legged_tripod 3-29-18
Good sir, how long wilst thou journey be? Twill be long and hard.	Tis what she proclaimed! *gasp*	Fear not fair maiden. It won't catcheth on.

27. Won't Be Comin' Round Here No More

by four_legged_tripod on October 3, 2017
Rating: 6.25 (8 votes)

Won't Be Comin' Round Here No More by four_legged_tripod 10-03-17
I guess you heard Tom Petty died. I guess you're about to make a joke about it.	No way! His death is a tragedy! You feel that way?	Sure do. The whole situation is a heartbreaker.

28. PETA Remakes The Godfather

by kaufman on February 7, 2017
Rating: 7.22 (9 votes)

PETA Remakes The Godfather

AAAIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!

by kaufman, 2-07-17

29. Never Gonna Dance Again

by Namgubed on December 26, 2016
Rating: 6.43 (7 votes)

Never Gonna Dance Again by Namgubed 12-26-16
Zzzzz...	*yawn* - ooh, last night was fantastic and I... are you OK?? Oh, NO!!	George Michael didn't wake me up before he went-went!

30. Oso Wrong

by AccentuateNegative on April 30, 2016
Rating: 7.5 (10 votes)

Oso Wrong by AccentuateNegative 4-30-16
Woof. Ignore.	That's just my way of saying I think you're handsome and I'd like to get to know you. Thanks, but you're not really my type.	You sure I can't buy you a drink? There's no such thing as bear goggles.

31. Kids Will be Kids

by four_legged_tripod on April 14, 2016
Rating: 9 (5 votes)

Kids Will be Kids by four_legged_tripod 4-14-16
And why do you think you'd be a good addition here at KinderCare? I have a lot of experience working with children?	Are we talking pediatrician or Chuck E. Cheese attendant? Neither.	Sweat shop manager.

32. CC 633: Fill It In Yourself

by kaufman on January 27, 2016
Rating: 9 (5 votes)

CC 633: Fill It In Yourself by kaufman 1-27-16
A fight prop that gyrates and whirls ... Is about to run over some squirrels.	My attention span's lacking, The next panel's blacking ...

33. CC631

by Porternotes on January 7, 2016
Rating: 9 (5 votes)

CC631 by Porternotes 1-07-16
I say, I'm feeling a bit saucy this evening perhaps we should come together in a knowing way. What's this all about?	I looked up sex positions in the Urbane Dictionary.