All comics by Alexandra

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by Alexandra
2-24-03
Alex is wearing his Matador outfit, talking with Lela on AIM
Hey there you sexy beast!
Hey there you foxy animal forest creature
But Lela is not responding
If you don't respond that has to mean someone broke in your window and is painting your fingernails with TOEnail polish...THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.
Somebody has a case of the Mondays.
what the hell just happened...

 

by Alexandra
2-24-03
GRR I'M A BIG BAD DEMON.
Man this strip is CRAZY! I'M A DIRTY HOOKER! AHAHAHAH!
OMG I'M LIKE A DONKEY! THIS IS AWSOME!
My wife was murdered

 

by Alexandra
2-24-03
"Dear Sir, We are pleased to inform you that you have been awarded the national acheivement award for sucking."
Alas. Tis the fate of a true genious.
I just killed some guys wife...

 

by Alexandra
2-24-03
Joshua is at a job interview
I'm an employer and I prefer JEWISH PEOPLE when I hire employees! Because I'm RACIST!
I am Jewish.
Joshua is a very black jewish person. He can dance and likes watermelon. His penis is huge. He can balance his checkbook.
Joshua tried to kill himself last night.
That was in a thought bubble retard. You crazy Jews.
My dad is a banker.

 

by Alexandra
2-24-03
Paper clips live in the ocean.
I have a massive erection
So do dolphins
Its fuckin HUGE!
For the love of god someone kill me.
Wanna see?

 

by Alexandra
2-24-03
Please let me out of this cage. I'm only in here because I'm a politically dissident novelist trying to write a book on the corruption of Democracy.
Please. Someone. Anyone, save me!
Who the fuck are you?
Wazzzzzaaaaaaaaaap

 

by Alexandra
2-25-03
So then I said, "THATS WHY ITS CALLED SCAT YOU STUPID BITCH!"
Thank you! Thank you! we'll be here all week!
Lenny has been abusing his medication
Tips are appreciated

 

by Alexandra
2-25-03
THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!
THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!
THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!
THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!
THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!
KILL THE CIGARRETE!

 

by Alexandra
2-25-03
THIS IS A HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL COMIC
nuts
nuts
THE NEXT FRAME IS INCREDIBLY CONTROVERSIAL AND MIGHT MAKE YOU ANGRY BECAUSE ITS SO DARING AND BOLD.
poon-tang
nuts
OMG!
I'm a terrorist.
You are forgiven my son.

 

by Alexandra
2-25-03
this strip isn't funny
So i went to the store yesterday to get some grapes.
Really? and how many did you get?
It really isn't. If you read the last frame your just going to think its stupid.
Well the guy at the store told me he didn't sell grapes to them chinese folk.
So what did you say to him?
I just left. I'm very hungry.
I'm so sorry.

 

by Alexandra
2-25-03
I lead a very sad life. I live in a small aprtment and eat cat food.
But at least I have my sweet axe and the gift of music!
Someone broke into your house, killed your dad, and kidnapped your mom. We assume shes been raped and killed.
I love this job

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
There is noone inside this house.
I'm here for our date today cutie.
You see. This woman woke up today next to her dead husband. He choked on his own vomit in the night. Now shes gone insane and is reliving the night they met , which took place over 30 years ago.
open the door sweetcheeks.

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
Santa is in prison for attempted genicide
Elves are impure and don't deserve to co-exist with the one true master race!
Santa always wanted to be an astronaut anyway.
Fat little boys that wear tight shirts make me giddy.

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
Back to hell with ye demon spawn!
Grrrrrr!
meanwhile back on earth
Bend over bitch.
Yes master.
And all of existence is made safe once again.
NOOOOO!

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
Mmmmhmmm. I'm straight trippin boo, cuz last night I gots my period yo.
Mmmmhmmm girl, I dig.
Mmmmhmmm. And I was gonna call up my boy, Donnel, buts I lost my cellphone, ya hear?
Mmmmhmmm girl, I dig.
And then space aliens came down and killed them both so I wouldn't have to listen to a conversation like that ever again.
I KNOW you ain't pointin that gun at me foo'!

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
Hello boys and girls. This is your old pal, stinky wizeltits. This is a song about a whale. NO. This is a song about being happy. Thats right. Its the happy happy joy joy song!
happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy joy
I don't think your happy enough. I'll teach you to be happy. I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs. Now boys and girls. Lets try it again.
happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy joy
If'n you ain't the grand daddy of all liers. the little creatures of nature. they don't know that they're ugly. Thats very funny. A fly marrying a bumblebee. I told you I'd shoot. But you didn't
happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy joy
believe me.WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
Hi Calvin! I'm gonna take nap!
Hey Hobbes! Lets go search for treasure!
Girls are yucky! Lets make a club and not let girls join.
Your grandpa and grandma are making out inside. Its really scary, come check it out.

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
My wife left me for a younger man today.
Can I help you?
Excuse me? Can I help you?
So I killed them.
Word.

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
Roller coaster. of love.
say what?
Roller coaster.
OO-OO-OO-OO
AZN PEOPLE ARE ALL ROBOTS TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THEIR LAZER EYES BEAMS.
works every time.

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
Alex is very bored today.
Wow. My life is very uninteresting and unfufilling. And I refuse to correct spelling errors. I thin I'll make an imaginary friend to keep me company.
I hate myself and I want to die.

 

by Alexandra
2-26-03
Alex has an imaginary friend named Amber.
Her name is Rebecca. Ass.
Don't make me remind you that your the one writing this bitch.
I'm going to go to bed.
Anyway...So, Amber your a student at Columbia University? Thats fascinating! Can I offer you my filthy cho- I mean, a beer?

 

by Alexandra
2-27-03
Well yesterday I found out I'm HIV positive.

 

by Alexandra
2-27-03
Scuse me Mrs.Teacher. Wouldn't that actually be negative csc(x)tan(y') because you carry the x to the right side?
No.
This is where milk comes for the baby *pinches nipples*
I stuff my bra.

 

by Alexandra
2-27-03
Alex is on AIM
Nobody is ever on at this time of the day.
Nobody is on. AND ITS BEEN 2 HOURS! This can mean only ONE THING!
Somebody has a case of the Thursdays
GOD DAMNIT!

 

by Alexandra
2-27-03
Elton John wrote this strip
The phrase "Slam Dunk" has always sounded like some kind of sick sexual postion to me.
Now that I think about it does sound like that.
Elton John wrote this strip
Ya. Like doggy style while hitting someones back with cupped fists like a gorilla.
Dude! I've got to try that some time!
Elton John wrote this strip
I, Sir Elton John, did not write this strip.

 

by Alexandra
2-27-03
I'm sorry, but theres no way in hell we can outdo that title.
Ya, your probably right.
hehe I'm a tentacle.

 

by Alexandra
2-27-03
psycic pornstar midgets don't make good cuddle buddies.
I am a psycic pornstar midget.
You look a hell of a lot more like a creepy hentai beast to me.
psycic pornstar midgets are very picky about what they eat
psycic pornstar midgets killed my sister.
I am a psycic pornstar midget
ZING!

 

by Alexandra
2-27-03
Did you know that there are 17 ways to say love in Greek?
Your full of shit and you look like that guy from the "revenge of the geeks" movie
It was "Revenge of the Dorks" bitch.
O. I'm sorry. You can take advantage of me now if you want.
Score!
But no handjobs because my hand is glued to my hair.

 

by Alexandra
2-27-03
Arrrrrrrrr
Arrrrrrrrrr
Arrrrrrrrrr

 

by Alexandra
2-28-03
my son was eating a PB&J sandwich yesterday
Arrrr. I be lookin to get me timbers shivered matey!
GeeT uN MAi LItTLe rED StvOoL AnD gIB mE BWAin!!
When he look up at me and asked, "Daddy, do you love me?"
Arrrr. This be a mighty fine way to end a day of pillage and plunder!
I HAM a vERy SoOK Sas FOol BAse cAT BOol PlAyhAR!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him I put rat poison in his milk
Word up yo!
SHAZAM!

 

by Alexandra
2-28-03
I don't believe in you.
Are you an elf?
No.
Then you get to live.

 

by Alexandra
2-28-03
Is it ok if i make you say innapropriate things in my strips?
Knock yourself out my son.
Thx man.
Sure buddy, no prob.
~whistle~

 

by Alexandra
2-28-03
I'd like to buy this can of peas please.
Do you need to buy a wok with that?
I don't get it.
O wait, hehe ya I get it. Thats funny.
I'm going to call the cops if you don't get the fuck out of my store.

 

by Alexandra
2-28-03
I desire hot bitches
I find that extremely offensive and I resent the correlation you've made between me and pimps.
I'm sorry.
All is forgiven. Just don't let it happen again.
Are you Elton John?
Why yes I am. Could I intrest you in a dimebag?

 

by Alexandra
2-28-03
GRRRRRR! ROAAARRR!
???
GRRRROWWLLL!
!!!
I have big nasty car with shiny thing on it and it make TEH BIG NOISE!
impregnate me immediately.

 

by Alexandra
2-28-03
This comic took me 49 minutes to make
I do not believe in the concept of free will.
Then how do you justify our obviously superior ability to conduct ourselves and make decisions?
WAIT! I'm still making it so it must've taken me longer!
I believe that we only percieve ourselves as superior, and in truth its simply that our actions are a result of an incredibly complex and intricate chain of events during our lifetimes.
Thats quite an interestg theory you have there.
Damnit I lost track. I'll just say it took me negative negative 4.8 hours.
You misspelled "interesting".
This cup I'm holding is filled to the brim with my own urine and excriment.

 

by Alexandra
2-28-03
Yes but I've touched a real boobie.
I'm a lvl 74 dungeon king with my own kingdom in an online RPG.
Wait, I think we were supposed to say that in the opposite order.
O, yeah, and this frame was supposed to be silent and I was supposed to cry alone in the last frame.
That would've been fuckin hilarious!
Not really.

 

by Alexandra
3-01-03
Today is March 1st. And that means that National Black History Month is over.
I can't wait for next year, so I can learn so much about African American culture again!
Like how George Washington Carver invented peanut butter!
I know! Its so fascinating!

 

by Alexandra
3-01-03
Eventually your going to have to make a serious comic that won't be silly or even nonsensical you know.
Ya I know. Thats gonna really suck when I start making these my homosexual little "Diary" instead of comics. Sey la vie I guess.
Not only did you spell that wrong, but I don 't think that made any sense in context.
Pull my skin and spit in my mouth.
Please remember to buckle your seat belts kids.
Doing drugs in school. Isn't cool.

 

by Alexandra
3-01-03
Are you a vegetarian?
Was that a racial slur?
Hi!
My baby is going to be the anti-christ. Please kill me and drown my fetus in holy water.
Silly humans! :lol
Nigger.

 

by Alexandra
3-01-03
Finally my time travel machine is done!
Is that a pile of condoms you're holding there?
Lol, we time traveled into prison.
I fucking hate you so much.

 

by Alexandra
3-02-03
LOL! that was funny. I'm gonna make a cloning machine next. Just like on Jimmy Neutron.
I hope you get anal raped.
OMG my new time machine I made while we were in prison worked!
WHO ARE YOU??

 

by Alexandra
3-02-03
Dear Cheif Tonto, I love you. Please take me to the Sunnyville High school prom this friday. If you don't then I'll kill myself. Sincerley, your loving wife Cindy.
Well I guess everyone has to die eventually.

 

by Alexandra
3-02-03
Which one is the real Savior of mankind?
*Snicker*
*Snicker*
Can you tell which one is the real Jesus?
*Snicker*
*Snicker*
Its neither of them!
ROFLMAO!! I'm just a guy on a crusifix!
This is actually very painful.

 

by Alexandra
3-02-03
Wanna go make out?
Yes.

 

by Alexandra
3-02-03
AHAHAHA, the title of this is "the princess diaries". You KNOW it has too be good when a princess wrote the diary.
Did you bring them?
Yes.
THESE ARE THE DRY KIND YOU ASSHOLE! YOU PROMISED LUBRICATED THIS TIME!

 

by Alexandra
3-03-03
Whew, I just had a horrible day at work.
O yeah?!? Well maybe you should try giving birth to a child! Then you'll know what real work is!
My mom died in child birth.

 

by Alexandra
3-04-03
What?
WHAT?
HEY! 99% of the population does it damnit!
I hear that!

 

by Alexandra
3-04-03
I'm bored.
Its my turn.
Shut the fuck up.

 

by Alexandra
3-05-03
Wed.
*sigh*
*sigh*
Thur.
*sigh*
*sigh*
Fri.
I fucking love Friday.
Get out the slip and slide bitch. I'm feeling frisky!

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