All comics by Alpha1

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by Alpha1
9-21-01
The girl of my dreams! That does it I'm going to ask her out... the worse she could tell me is "no."
Uh--
NO SHITWAD! You dont have the right to breath air in the same universe as me. I'd kick your rusty ass it it were worth the time it would take to life my foot. Beat it dickless!
Ahh, more meat for the grinder!
The girl of my dreams!...

 

by Alpha1
9-22-01
...eey, nice rack...
Ugh, Why do I even come to these lousy clubs anymore? There's not one decent guy in this place...
...what's your sign, baby?
The one that tells you to eat llama crap and die. I swear if I meet another horny, macho parasite tonight I'm gonna--
--Oooh, the night just picked up
uuh... I'm n-not feelin' too right in the head... tonight... man i'm sooo.. m-messed up-p... uuh like... hey...

 

by Alpha1
9-22-01
Last night was really great! I've never had a one night stand before
Don't flatter yourself, I'd hardly call that a whole night.
A-are you saying I wasn--
I'm pretty sure you've just turned me off of guys for good pal. I'm signing up for the lesbo newsletter as we speak...
Uh... well, uh thanks for.. telling me... I have to go take care of... uh somthing
No Problem, keep up the good work I could use a few lesbian partners, say do you know where I can find a good Golf shop?

 

by Alpha1
9-22-01
Wooh! That lesbian bit was the best one so far. The power I wield over men simply by being a woman is awe inspiring... I've got to abuse it some more!
But it's got to be the right man, a loser, someone whose heart I can pull from his chest watch crumble to the floor in a pool of agony...
JACKPOT BABY!
Man! my life sucks! Where the hell is Cthulu?!

 

by Alpha1
9-23-01
Nied! Will there be StarCraftage tonight?
Waiji you ass, no Craft for you untill you finish the next "That Weekly"
Fuck dude, You're right! I keep forgetting! That does it I'm gonna clone myself so I can be more efficient!
Damn straight bitch! Get on that clonning shit, I'm gonna find Ash, that fucker.
Waiji clone demand MIIGAAZ!!!
aww fuck.

 

by Alpha1
9-23-01
Ash, you cocksmoker we're playing Craft n'shit get your ass in gear fucker.
Did Waiji finish "That Weekly" yet?
No, the fucker's cloning himself so he can do both n'shit.
Cool! I'll be right there!
Waiji clone demands Craftage!... or your girlfriend.
umm... hold on, gimme a second. I'm thinking...

 

by Alpha1
9-23-01
Waiji clone will play StarCraft or he will be allowed to mate with your girlfriend.
ummm... Well, maybe she wont notice... but I still have to get "That Weekly" finished before Nied and Ash Get here. Time fore another clone!
Mixing Protoss DNA with my own was a dumb idea. Hopefully this new clonewill be more co-operative!
...crrrr'aft n'owww...
Mental note: Using Zerg DNA, bad.

 

by Alpha1
9-23-01
No StarCraft for you Waiji-zerg!
.......C'aaathhhhh....
No girlfriend for you, either!
...rrrrrr'gggggg............. Aaaarm'mor'd C'oore 2?
No Armored Core 2 either! I Need you to finish "That Weekly" for me!
.....rrrrr... I'mmm goo'ing tooo eee't y'oor paanc'reeas lat'rrrr....

 

by Alpha1
9-23-01
Uh... Cath? I was in the basement making clones, right? I made one with Protoss DNA but all it wants is to mate with my girlfriend.
But I REALLY wanted to play StarCraft with Nied and Ash sooo, umm--
Who are you again?

 

by Alpha1
9-23-01
I'm sorry Cath, but I traded you to the Waiji-Toss clone so I could play StarCraft...
YOU DID WHAT?? Come over here so I can punch you vigorously in the face...
...well I would but I don't much care to be punched... and Scriptcreator.com dosent have a decent graphic for you yet.
If it makes you feel any better, the Waiji-zerg clone wants to eat my pancreas...
...I'll get the BBQ sauce...

 

by Alpha1
9-23-01
Meanwhile Nied and Ash arrive...
Man where is that shitwhip motherfucker, Waiji? Bet he's somewhere havin' sex n'shit, fuck!
eh? ...Nied...
Wait here Lunchbox, I'ma find that bitch so we can get our MIGAZ on.
Uhh Nied... dude....
Something's devouring my leg, and it looks alot like Waiji!

 

by Alpha1
9-23-01
Cath, this is Waiji-toss. Umm have be nice to each other
You are an excelent specimen, we shall make many strong Zealots together.
Um.. well gotta go check and see if Nied and Ash are here yet, bye!
Oh cool, a PS2 and Armored Core 2!
*sigh*

 

by Alpha1
9-23-01
Waiji, you ragedy cocksmoking sonovabitch, are you ready to kick some Craft-ass now?
HELL YES! Where's ash? And why does Waiji-zerg lok like it gained 170 pounds?
Damn! that shit-fucker's gonna make us wait for MIGAZ.
Uhh, Nied? I think I found him, dude.
Jesus! Dead Ash-bitch! Anything to slow down Craftage! FUCK!
Wot?

 

by Alpha1
9-24-01
Nied, I'm real sorry about Ash, I should've chained up Waiji-zerg. This totally fucks MIGAZ for tonight... hey, what did you do with his bones?
I tossed that assraped, bony motherfucka's ass into a D&D pool of resurection. Should heal his shit up real quick. I also called that bitch, Alpha2 to take his place!
Dudes!
...Anyone else notice this room is upside down?

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