All comics by Beef

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by Beef
11-01-08
Telling schoolkids jokes again...
...and his t-shirt said "liquer in the front, poker in the rear!"
...
...well, I LAWLd.
Uncomfortably erect.
If I show you my panties, will you leave me the fuck alone?

 

by Beef
11-01-08
Shit, how do I get out my opponent's masterful strategy?
It's time to up the ante - pull down my panties... and use my SPECIAL MOVE!!!
You've got to move the pieces with your hands. WITH YOUR HANDS.
Shit, he's making me question my sexuality again.

 

by Beef
11-01-08
Everybody knew that Bobby had a history as a lecher.
Just take one look.
No.
But I want you to. It will make feel womanly.
...shit, I can't hold out any longer!
Gotcha! I told you that a zombie handjob would be your punishment.
If only he had nice tits this would be worth it.

 

by Beef
11-01-08
Shit shit shit shit shit.
Excuse me, sir!
Please don't look in here!
Excuse me! Sir!
Isn't it hard to go toilet in that thing? I find it hard enough to get my flies down at the best of times. I keep thinking I need to lubricate the zip maybe. What tricks do you use to...
If anything, I want him to notice the blood sooner.

 

by Beef
11-01-08
Almost... at... summit...
Almost!!!
NOW YOU HAVE REACHED THE PINNACLE YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS WISH WILL BE GRANTED
Time to make that wish, motherfuckers!
I WISH THAT...!
YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS WISH IS GRANTED
SHIIIIT.

 

by Beef
11-01-08
Man, they just keep staring at me.
Can't they move? Are they unfeeling devil children, automatons sent by Satan to pickle my soul with their incriminating eyes?
Answer: yes.

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