All comics by CaptainLoser

Profile

 

by CaptainLoser
3-15-05
This is part 2 of Twan's comic strip.
If you have any complaints or difficulties with this comic strip..
please dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT, extension FUCK...

 

by CaptainLoser
3-15-05
What's the idea with the space suit?
Well, sex is such a risky prospect nowdays.
Uh Huh.
And you know, it's so nasty and disgusting lately.
Jerking off's gotten to be a hazard?
You're the one that hasn't had sex in 8 months...

 

by CaptainLoser
3-15-05
What the hell...
I'm you, 10 months ago
You don't look like it.
Well, it's hard to maintain this figure!
But you don't look anything like me!
That's because you're a hog,Jethro.

 

by CaptainLoser
3-15-05
Allen, do you know why I've brought you out here?
To show me what chastity looks like?
No, I brought you out here to teach you the way of the samurai.
That's not anything like giving blowjobs, is it?
No, but if you don't stop with the wisecracks, I'll be forced to whip you.
Leave me out of your perverted games. I saw what you did to Josh.

 

by CaptainLoser
3-15-05
The Way of the Samurai is simple.
Renounce all material goods and live by the sword.
I live by a sword already..want to see it?
Why me, Lord?
Don't get any funny ideas...I'm not that Spanish drag queen.

 

by CaptainLoser
3-24-05
So, what'll it be?
A date.
I'm sorry, are you talking to someone behind me?
No, I'm talking to you.
Okay, where's the camera, and where's Ashton?
If this was a joke, I'd be wearing a clown suit...wait a second..

 

by CaptainLoser
3-24-05
And she said...
She'd go out with me.
And you said...
Awesome
And then...
I tripped over an old lady as I was jumping up and down and did a full face plant to the floor.

 

by CaptainLoser
3-24-05
So,Allen, what's your plan for the date with Sarah?
Well, it's going to be simple...
Such as...?
Go to a drive-in movie, and try to get to third base.
Are you still living in the 50's?
No, third base is anal sex....

 

by CaptainLoser
3-24-05
Damn, she's pretty...
I wonder if I can get my hand on one of her breasts...
...and then she pulled my lip up over my head.
Third Base, huh?

 

by CaptainLoser
3-28-05
I'm still working on pickup lines.
Good god, not this again.
How's this for a good pickup line: "I saw you and realized you look like my third girlfriend."
How many have you had?
Well...uh....None.
That's the worst one I've ever heard.

 

by CaptainLoser
3-28-05
Hello, I'm SweetTropicalTee, and this is Mop.
Why am I here?
Simple. I brought you here because this is a talent show.
And my talent would be?
Pissing people off by breathing.
That's actually Twan's talent. Mine is spending money.

 

by CaptainLoser
3-28-05
...so Allen's going to Hunters with us. Three is better than two.
Bullshit. I thought we were going to leave Allen and his lame pickup lines at home.
Lame pickup lines. Wouldn't it just be easier to burn the notebook?
I tried that. Anyway, what are we going to do about Allen? Remember what happened when we took him to Berlin?
Yeah, her voice was kinda deep.
Her voice? What about the hair on her ass???

 

by CaptainLoser
3-28-05
So I went to work today at the art gallery...
Excuse me, I'll be right back...
Hey, did you see my date? He went to the rest room.
That guy in the matador costume?
He's a waiter here?
No, that's Tommy. He just went by me yelling something about being with some boring chick...zzzzzzzzzzz

 

by CaptainLoser
3-28-05
This is Justin
This is Justin
I don't get paid to provide a description of Justin...
Twan, up yours!

 

by CaptainLoser
3-28-05
I've been sitting here flexing for 20 minutes and nothing's happened
Any of you punks wanna fight me?
Yar, ye rang, ya lily-livered crusty-faced scurvy dog?
So that's what Hulk Hogan looks like without the steroids...

 

by CaptainLoser
3-28-05
So my Cowboys got eliminated in the NCAA tournament.
So the Sooners got eliminated in the NIT.
So I can't get laid in Tulsa...because Oklahoma City is a grease pit

 

by CaptainLoser
3-28-05
Well, are we going to Hunters or not?
Yeah, let's go.
So what should I expect at Hunters?
This time you won't get your lip pulled over your head.
Yeah?
No...you'll probably get bent over and fucked.

 

by CaptainLoser
3-29-05
Wait, I thought I saw you already.
No, this is still you from 10 months ago, when you were thin and got laid all the time.
Are you on drugs?
Possibly.

 

by CaptainLoser
3-29-05
So what you're saying is you're a younger, sexier smarter version of me?
Exactly.
And what you're saying is I'm an old, dried up piece of hog crap?
Exactly..
And what you're saying is you sleep with boys?
Exact...hey, wait a second!

 

by CaptainLoser
3-30-05
Wait, I know you.
Yeah, I'm JB.
So what happens now?
Vote Republican!

 

by CaptainLoser
3-30-05
So what do you bring to the table.?
Uh...
So what do you bring to the table?
Uh...
Look, if you move in here you gotta bring something to the table!
uh...Tough Actin' Tinactin?.

 

by CaptainLoser
3-30-05
Sho whenn yah lishten ta thise ghys ohn tha rhadia, uhndashtahnd thath teay ahint tellihn ya tha trhuth
Ihts khanda lak wha my dochta shays
Ah'd thank tha exacht shame whay iften mah brahin whashnet rheplached bah a mhonkey's bhalls.
Who lets this guy give lectures??

Showing page 1.