All comics by Conster1974

 

by Conster1974
9-26-08
A politically correct Jesus...
Santa, you need to lose weight, you're too fat and your setting a bad example for children everywhere!
I cant help it if your mad because they are now calling Christmas "Winter Break"..... I get stressed out alot and I pig out on milk and cookies....
Father Mike, how many times do I have to spell it out? My name is Jesus Christ...
Sorry, but chaplains are not legally allowed to talk about you in public anymore.... it offends people.
Let me guess... I must have misplaced the birth certificate?
I think it's time for an 11th commandment...

 

by Conster1974
9-26-08
Down on the Planet Stupid
Oh its just a harmless little squirrel...
AAAAAH!!!!! GOD!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! SOMETHING IS HAPPENING TO ME!!!!!!AAAAAAH!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Squirrel power. MUHAHAHA!

 

by Conster1974
9-26-08
What happens in Oswego Hospital?
I'm here to suck your blood! BLA BLA BLA!!!!!!!!!!
Oh puhLEASE, It's time for my lunch break, the cops ticketed my car and I'm in a lousy mood!
Did someone mention LUNCH????
Give me a break! I told you to BEAT IT!!!! Don't MAKE me do this!
AHHHH GOD!!! YOU LOUSY WH*RE!
Yep. Works EVERY TIME!!!

 

by Conster1974
9-26-08
Just another day at the office...
I'm about ready to fire that guy... he's just no good.. I'm under so much stress...
You wanted to see me Lucifer?
Yes, I wanted to know why the $@($ing air conditioning isn't fixed yet!!!!! Can't you see its boiling in here? How am I supposed to be productive and sell cigarettes to minors like this?
AND MAKE ME A BOILING POT OF COFFEE!!!!

 

by Conster1974
9-26-08
What a woman says...
Tom! You and I need to get busy. There's clothes we need to get off the bedroom floor. We need to accomplish this RIGHT NOW!
Selective deafness at work as the man interprets what the woman says...
What a man HEARS...
TOM!!! You and I... Clothes Off.... Bedroom Floor.... RIGHT NOW!!!!!
YES MA'AM!!!!!

 

by Conster1974
9-26-08
DEAR HOMEOWNER, YOU OWE US $23,000 IN BACK PROPERTY TAXES TO BE PAID IMMEDIATELY
Housing crisis? How's this for housing crisis. We're about to be OUT ON THE STREET.
I wonder if we can refinance our mortgage and pay off what we owe??? It might help....
How can I live like this? Things couldn't POSSIBLY get any worse!!!
P.S. PAY UP NOW OR DIE, RAT BASTARDS
Fuck.

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