All comics by DrT

Profile

 

by DrT
1-07-02
Gimme some money or I'll slash you up
Fuck off
Stupid little pikey
Watch yer maaaaff or I'll slash you up
Shit, it's a pikey!
Oh, god, not another one

 

by DrT
1-07-02
Prat.
Knock, knock
Who's there
Your mum.
Your mum what?
What was that for? I didn't say that much about her!
Fk off

 

by DrT
1-07-02
Got nutz?
Shit, a talking pig.
I'm not a fucking pig. Don't call me a fucking pig. Or you'll regret it. Really.
I didn't think pigs liked nuts, haw, haw
Dick.
WTF was that?

 

by DrT
1-07-02
lo
grunt
Like, what happened to your left eye?
Grunt
What's wrong with this picture?
Me name Thicky, grunt

 

by DrT
1-07-02
Na, na, na, naa, na na naaa naaaa naaa - BOY KISSER!
Yeah, every week I come here and...
Is he always like this?
Na, na, na, naa, na na naaa naaaa naaa - PUNK ROCKER!
Somebody shoot me in the head

 

by DrT
1-07-02
Did you bring your computer?
Yeah, I hooked it up with yours.
Hi
Hi. I like your eyes.
a/s/l?

 

by DrT
1-07-02
let's cyber
yeah baby
unnh....
Can't reach
Damn.

 

by DrT
1-09-02
#lounge: Topic - bollox
I saw Spiry's ballz early this morning
DrT joins #lounge
They tasted good
evening all
Anyway, as I was saying, Spiry's ballz taste fuckin brilliant. You know the South Park ep with Chef's chocolate salty balls? It was like that...
An ordinary evening in #lounge...

 

by DrT
1-09-02
It's mean...
Fatal Exception Error in IEXPLORE.EXE: Reason - Shit happens, get used to it.
You fucking useless hunk of shit! Work, you bastard or I'll rip you peripheral from peripheral!
It's funny...
Emailing incriminating pictures to parents...crashing...eat shit and die...
Noooooooooo!
It's all you need.
Bwahahahahahaha

 

by DrT
1-09-02
This is gonna take a while.
You muppet
You slag
You muppet
You slag
AAAAAAAGSAHAGH GOD IT BURNS j00 sux0r c0x
You slag

 

by DrT
1-09-02
Another day, another morning with Psycho Squirrel Called Darren
I think it'd be funny to stick pidgins to the wings of cyborg eagles and fly them into jet engines, wouldn't that be cool, I mean ppl might think that it's another big attack and that'd be funny why-
bye
AAAH FUCK AAAH FUCK IT BURNS
That's better.
m0h

 

by DrT
1-09-02
Oh shit
Hi! I thought I'd light one of my farts to see what'll happen
This should be good
Sounds good.
Any moment now...
Did someone bring marshmallows?
ooyah

 

by DrT
1-09-02
Act One
Hi.
Hi.
Act Two
So...do you fish?
Act Three
Look, out everybody! NUCLEAR WAR!

 

by DrT
1-11-02
There are certain 12 year old losers who have gratuitously used the word 'antidisestablishmentarianism' on this server.
You are pussies. You know who you are.
These people are ignorant and must be stopped.
These people know who they are. If you are one of them, please jump off a tall cliff right now.
Everyone knows that the longest English word is pneumoultramicroscopicasilicavolcanoisis.
I will shoot anyone who mentions dis********************* again with an AK-47.

 

by DrT
1-11-02
I heard Bush started some shit with Russia about a US missile defence system.
Yup. Stupid prick.
Couldn't this turn out to be horribly, horribly wrong?
I think so.
But you still owe me a tenner.

 

by DrT
1-11-02
Why are you sitting with someone? You have no friends.
Your point being?
YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS, DAMNIT!
...

 

by DrT
1-11-02
Darren is chatting with Left Bench Gabe
Would you like me to abstain from making a joke about how yourself and Right Bench Gabe are gay bumchums?
Yes.

 

by DrT
1-11-02
They should update the Bible for Generation Y-ers.
Who are Generation Y-ers?
1337ers.
W0u7dn't th4t m4k3 1t h4rd 2 r34d th0?

 

by DrT
1-11-02
And lo, Jesus was nailed to the cross
0uch! Th4t fuck1ng hurt c0xx 5uxx0r5!
ph33r m3, 4 4h w|77 5m|t3 j00!
Hey, it could happen.
Fucking hell.

 

by DrT
1-11-02
Gabe is in deep shit
Uh oh
I have come to take your eternal soul! Mwahahahahahaha!
What a prick! How can I get out of this one?
Well, now, hurry up, don't dawdle.
Uh...I like Pink Floyd!
What? Nooooo! I'm fucking outta here!

 

by DrT
1-11-02
Run...
Gabe loves men, who love boys, who love men, who love boys, who love men, who loves boys, who love men, who love boys, who love men, who love boys...
don't walk...
So ma wife says "I'm really just a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman...
from open-comedy readings.
So then dog-on-a-ball told me a really lame joke...hey, why are you booing me? Ungrateful bints.

 

by DrT
1-11-02
RUN AWAY!
And then he says "All hail, mighty elephant king!" Hur hur hur hur hur!
BOO! YOU SUCK! GET OFF THE STAGE! SOMETIMES I MASTURBATE IN THE SHOWER!
I mean it! RUN AWAY!
Right, you miserable ingrates, I'm outta here!
Fuck you! You're shit! Go on, fuck off, you goatfucker! Fuck off to where you fucking well fucked from, you fucking fucker fucker!
OR YOU'LL REGRET IT! REALLY!
Have you ever tried buying a GeForce if you're agnostic? Damn that ticks me off.
HEARD IT!

 

by DrT
1-11-02
Neutrons themselves are inherently unstable. After 12 minutes, they break down to make a proton, electron and neutrino.
Neutrinos kick ass.
Yup. They sure do.

 

by DrT
3-27-02
Indy Rock Pete checks his E2 account
??
Ack! You lost 19 experience points!
When, disaster!
My opinions on indie music I put in the Indie Music node musta been popular!
Reputation: -60 (+0/-60)
Wow! I've been cooled 7 times! Huh, what's this in my message box?
GRR YOU SUCK YOU FAGOT THOSE ARE CHINGS OF DEATH YOU POSEING PEICE OF SHIT.

 

by DrT
3-30-02
What is Indy Pete to do?
Hmmm...I'll just ask around in the chatterbox.
(IndyPete) Why the hell have my Indie Music writeups been voted down? I used to write a column for The Mimsies Fan Club, y'know!
That should sort it out.
*click*
I appear to have some insulting msgs and my writeups got nuked. Hm.
HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF XP STOICISM YOU LOSER?

 

by DrT
3-30-02
A clerical error means that Phil gets a shot at obtaining a master's degree in psychology at his local university.
This is gonna be so cool, just like College Roomies From Hell!
Man, this campus rocks! They're gonna have chicks, and beer!
I hope the prof lets me dump my pudding down on the lab bench. My arms are getting tired.
Hello, possible student! Who the fuck are you?

 

by DrT
3-30-02
Psychology 201
Man, I can't believe the professor wants us to learn about homeostasis!
Philip, may I have a sip of your beer?
No.
In that case, the entire class has to hand in by the Saturday after a 2,000 word essay on animal behaviour. Thank Philip.
The class is not impressed.
Ow! Hey, stop hitting me with that chair!
This, class, is a case of negative reinforcement. Hehe.

 

by DrT
3-30-02
Man, this sucks. I got beat up, have to do an essay, AND I almost lost my beer. What's university good for, anyway?
And those bastards in the room next door keep trying to steal my shit.
But I think I just got an idea on how to kill two birds with one stone.
Ooh, a penny!

 

by DrT
3-30-02
Philip sneaks into his neighbours' room.
Great, they're gone. And I've got my pudding, CD and hidden X10 camera. Hopefully that'll be enough to stop 'em starving.
I rigged up the camera and hidden the CD player in the roof tiles. They'll never find it. Ooh, almost forgot to pull the phone out of the socket.
But I think I'll keep the pudding.

 

by DrT
3-30-02
Two hours later
Great, the door's superglued shut. And that handy dandy Flood CD should be kicking in any time...
MINIMUM WAGE! HEYAH! *whip crack*
NOW!
What the hell?
Success.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Episode #6 - The Saga Continues!
MINIMUM WAGE! HEYAH!
Hmm, no reaction yet.
Hey, Phil. What diabolical scheme are you running now?
It's simple. I'm studying what the neighbours do if I force them to listen to They Might Be Giants' Minimum Wage on repeat.
Dare I ask why or should I back away slowly?
I'm doing a 2,000 word essay on this, fool.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Philip goes to get some more pudding.
MINIMUM WAGE! HEYAH!
I wonder where Bradley went.
Um, Dave, the door's stuck.
AAAAH! FUCK NO! GOD, MAKE IT STOP!
This gets better and better.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
After the 8th repetition...
PHILIP, IS THAT YOU?!?!
Um.........no........
PHILIP, LET US OUT, YOU SADISTIC RATFUCKING BASTARD!
This is Bradley.
WE'RE GONNA KICK YOUR FUCKING PUSSY ASS WHEN WE GET OUT!
Uh oh, here comes Brad.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
After the 10th repetition...
Hi, Philip. I could've sworn that I just heard my name being abused. That wasn't you, was it?
Um, no.
Liar.
You got me.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
After the 12th repetition...
Hello? Is anyone out there? Please let us out. Please. Please.
YOU SON OF A BITCH, PHILIP!
Meanwhile, inside the neighbour's room...
I knew we shoulda got a room with a window. At least I could've JUMPED OUT OF IT.
It doesn't sound like we're getting out any time soon.
Do you think we should...
Not if you were the last dipshit on Gaia.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Oh, come on. It'll take your mind off that GODDAMN SONG!
You're starting to scare me now.
How come?
You keep yelling at the end of your sentences.
BULLSHIT! Oops.
You're right; I am starting to wish I could jump out of a window.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Right. I've gotta calm down. We'll get through this.
Yeah, right. We've been trapped in here for a quarter of an hour already.
Your Daria like bluntness is not helping.
I'm a newsreader, what do you expect?
Repetitive music makes you STONED.
I'm starting to hallucinate.
Yeah, that song's making my head fall off too.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
What the fuck?
You weren't kidding about the hallucination thing.
My tongue just burrowed into my arm.
There's a leprechaun over there who wants to eat my brains.
Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Meanwhile, inside Phil and Brad's room...
So, what's happenin' in Dan and Zoe's room?
It's hard to see.
Hang on...
...I think they're trying to chew their way out.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
So what's going on now?
Aaauuauagh! They're heading for the roof!
Is that bad?
That's where I hid the CD player!
They look too stoned to notice.
I don't think they can get into the roofspace like that...

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Holy cow! They look like their getting it on!
Whew! I'm so glad I'm taping this.
You pervert.
Can I watch it too?
No.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Weird. Did we just fuck?
Whatever it was, it certainly made my head feel a lot clearer.
So, yeah, I guess we did.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
D'you think we should let them go now?
Nah, it's only been an hour. They've already snapped once. I wanna see it again.
But I'm bored. They're just banging their heads against the wall over and over again.
Yeah? Well, I came to see blood. BLOOOOD!
I thought you just needed something to write your essay about?
Yeah, that too.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Hey, I've got an idea!
What?
If I throw some of my aftershave on the wall and set it on fire, it might burn a hole big enough for us to escape through!
Or it might burn us.
Or it might burn us, yeah. But at least we'd escape!
Eventually.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
What are they doing now?
Ramming the bed against the wall.
Haven't you seen enough stuff to write your essay now?
No, it'll take another couple of hours.
In that case, I'm gonna get some beer.
Mmmmm...beer.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Brad visits Perm to buy some beer
Hey, Perm. Got beer?
I smuggle that stuff into the country, what do you expect?
Erm...
You're not a customs officer, are you?

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Bradley walks away, happy with the six pack he purchased from Perm for $20
Bye, Perm! Thanks again!
No problem!
Wow! Twenty bucks! I gotta get down to the record store and buy me some Pink Floyd!
And some proper underwear, too.

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Brad returns.
Have another beer, Phil.
Are you trying to get me drunk?
Um, yes.
As long as you're not coming onto me, that's OK.
While he's drunk I'll be able to get a look into their room.
Hey, stop eyeing me like that!

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Desperate times...
I CAN'T STAND IT ANY MORE!
Jeez, calm down. It's just stupid music. The same piece of stupid music being played over and over again...
What are you doing?
...call for desperate measures.
HEY! STOP SETTING THE WALLS ON FIRE!

 

by DrT
3-31-02
Um, Philip...there's smoke covering up the view from your hidden camera.
SMOKE?! NOOO, I PAID SO MUCH FOR THAT THING!
You stole it from a dumpster, Philip.
Yeah, that cop was really nice about it.

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