All comics by Empy

Profile

 

by Empy
6-25-06
Stripcreator: The medium of the lazy.
Shit nigga.
Hello there, chocolate man.
Word.
*rimshot*
Did you bring the punchline?
I brought the punchline to yo momma.

 

by Empy
6-25-06
I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, DESPITE HOW I LOVE EXPLOSIONS, BOMBING MY HOUSE IS NOT THE WAY TO MY HEART.
I brought you a present.
YOUR PRESENT IS GAY AND YOU ARE A FAG.
Yes, I am.
I THINK I LOVE YOU. PLEASE MAKE LOVE TO MY ASS.
I can't tell sarcasm. I'm mentally retarded.

 

by Empy
6-25-06
Hay thar fagot ass i bet ur raping teh baby omg iz that roofies lololoolo
Yes it is. I'm going to use it to draw sarcastic smartass children near me, then I will kill them.
omg i knu u wer a pedo fag lol
Yup. I am. Also, you should look behind you. There are pedo people who will rape you if you do not scare them off.
Huh? O SHT!!!!!!
PREPARE TO DIE. MOTHER FUCKER

 

by Empy
6-25-06
best comic ever
ya i give it 111111/10 lol
omg i kno
i think A++ is in ordr :DDD
wait they cant see the comc ur lookin at rite lol haha ironey
omg i kno

 

by Empy
11-21-06
I'm the old model Gabe, look at me! I have no real reason to be here and nobody will be able to use my character properly, but that's okay!
I'm a bench.
Lol at least you're not a PS3 LOL! ID HAVE TO PAY 600$ TO SIT ON YOU!! LOL!
Lol now i have a squirrel on me.

 

by Empy
11-21-06
Step One: Click "random". Add temporary dialog.
I am rabbit man and I have an axe.
I love the ladies.
Step 2: Change characters to increase humor value, change dialog to fit.
HERE'S JOHNNY.
The Shining has been referenced to death. It's not funny anymore.
Step Three: Make it your bitch.
Hey... Fuck you. Also, happy thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving, you fucking furry.

 

AHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
by Empy, 11-21-06

 

by Empy
11-21-06
We're back.
Only like, 3 people know who we are though.
Yes, and they all kick ass.
You know what I think of that?
poop
turd

 

by Empy
11-21-06
WHY HELLO THERE!
I'm gonna kill you.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I wonder if he'd have played chess with me...

 

by Empy
11-22-06
Welcome to Jimbob's Ranch!
To make your stay all the more enjoyable, we have put together this helpful video to show you how to enjoy Jimbob's Ranch to it's fullest fun potential!
Because you'd probably have a hard time enjoying yourself if people didn't tell you, now would they?

 

by Empy
11-22-06
To begin your personal video tour, we'll be visiting some of the FUN places here at Jimbob's ranch.
This here is the historical Jimbob Bar. I am standing at the very spot on which he's puked more than 13 times!
Visitors are encouraged to add to the discolored vomit stains on the floor.

 

by Empy
11-22-06
Here I am standing in front of Jimbob's Disgusting wall of despair!
It's said to be made of over 300 years of assorted animal feces, as well as whatever we flush down our toilets!
ISNT THAT FUN, MR CRAB MAN?!
I am filled with glee.

 

by Empy
11-22-06
In this portion of your personal video tour, we will show you how not to be seen. Standing behind me is Roger Miller. He cannot be seen.
Mr. Miller, please stand up.
This demonstrates the value of not being seen.

 

by Empy
11-23-06
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
poop
turd

 

by Empy
11-25-06
Politics politics politics politics
What
;
eat plastic

 

by Empy
11-25-06
Yay, we did it, Joe Marlboro!
Remember kids, smoke me, and the air will become so full of crap that it spontaneously ignites your enemies!
If I smoke more, can I kill the president and my father?
You can kill the president, Jimmy, but you must never use my powers to kill your own father.
This message has been brought to you in part by the Marlboro Advertising Corporation (R)
But... daddy beats me...

 

by Empy
11-26-06
Please ejaculate into my mouth.
Aww, fuckmonkeys.
Your penis is hard and tender.
That ain't my penish.

 

by Empy
11-26-06
This beautiful architecture almost makes me forget the fact I was born with the testicles of a fully grown man.
Wait...
Yup. Almost.

 

by Empy
11-26-06
SUP MOMS?
Oh, not much. I'm busy carbon dating this pile of shit I found.
FASCINATION!
;
I STILL THINK BUCKETHEAD HATES YOU, YOUR FAMILY, AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR.
I must kung fu battle.

 

by Empy
11-26-06
You ever notice how in newspaper comics, the last panel has something about it that draws your attention too much, ruining the punchline?
Yeah...
I hate that.
In other news...
I hate you.
AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAA I Win.

 

Oh no my period.
by Empy, 11-26-06

 

by Empy
11-26-06
I making food on the barbecue
Beep bop shee-boo.
If no-torso man sneaking up behind me I will cry forever.
Beep bop shee-boo.

 

by Empy
11-26-06

 

by Empy
11-26-06
Grandmother.
Clitoris.
!!!
So THAT's why they didn't like my story.

 

by Empy
11-26-06
I don't want to take your order.
My hope is that if I avery my eyes for long enough, you will lose patience and go away. Forever.
AH'LL HAHVE A COAKE WITH A PIECE AHVE AHCE CYOOBE IN IT!!
This man is my husband.
AH AHLSO WAHNT A MONKEE WITH A CROWN. A LEETTLE MONKEE.

 

by Empy
11-26-06
I'd like to thank the students of Columbine High School for cooperating with me tonight.
Oh shit... I'm highly offensive!
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER!

 

by Empy
11-30-06
I AM EN AAH FEELD.
ALLEHO THERR LEETERY MAN!
I am the mailman. This envelope is full of terrorism.
OOOOH NOH!!! I AHVE AHNTAKS!!
I am one with the mail. The envelope is my dick and the postbox is the vagina.

 

by Empy
12-01-06
FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!
GOD DAMNED MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE!
GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING SHITHEADED ASSHOLE OF A BITCH FUCKING PANDA BASTARD CARTWHEEL!

 

URINE EXPLOSION!
by Empy, 12-01-06

 

by Empy
12-02-06
Well, Invisible Man, we're in space.
YES INDEEEEED!
I never imagined that both of us would end up the same evacuation ship!
THE EARTH IS SPIRALING INTO THE SUN! LOL!
:(
:(

 

by Empy
12-02-06
Say it.
No.
PLEASE?
Fine.
Oh goodies!
poop

 

by Empy
12-08-06
FIRE IN THE DISCO
FIRE IN THE.. TACO BELL!
FIRE IN THE DISCO
FIRE IN THE... GATES OF HELL!
DONT YOU WANNA KNOW WHY WE KEEP STARTING FIRES?
ITS MY DESIRE!

 

by Empy
12-17-06
There's stuff that you find along the way,
and there's stuff you leave behind
And it all winds up as stuff that you can buy...
on ebaaaaay
DOO DOO
DOOOOOOOOOOO

 

by Empy
1-22-07
One day, Jessie hears a knocking at the door.
Suddenly, Jay bursts in!
I hate you Jessie I hope you die and your stupid and ugly and fat and I wish you were dead.
D:
Then he dies.
D:
^.^

 

by Empy
1-22-07
RAPE TIME!
Boner gong bleem bumfs gonad polyp dick anal bromide.
Sex cum shitter fuck bulls balls bitch bastard.
I hate that dream

 

by Empy
4-20-07
DO YOU GOING WAY?
SORRY NO I MUST GOES
FUCCCCCCCK!
I shit
NIGGER FAGGOT

 

DRACULA IS A FUCKING HOLIDAY!
by Empy, 5-19-07

 

by Empy
5-19-07
nuhhh...
nuhhh...
nuhhh...
nuhhh...
nuhhh...

 

by Empy
5-19-07
Time to get out of here.
Where are you going?
I have to... stuff.
But...
...Turd.

 

by Empy
5-19-07
I dance, but I am dead.
Do not fear.
The Dance done by the dead.

 

by Empy
5-19-07
My incredibly high intelligence lead to social excommunication even from an early age. None will reproduce with me... Is intelligence deemed to be a genetic flaw?
I've won awards. I've become rich. I've done things most people never could do in their wldest dreams. I'm the picture of perfect health... But I can't find love.
I dropped out of school because my bitch wanted me to help with the goddamn kids. Fucking bitch. I'll kill her.
Everything I've ever done in my life is worth nothing. no matter how famous, no matter how much I may do to make the world a better place, in the end, this universe will be gone.
If I forget my pills just once, I'll die. Modern medicine is the only reason I'm alive. Evolution has deemed me unfit to survive.
I'm going to lube up a roast turkey and fuck it like a dog.

 

by Empy
5-20-07

 

by Empy
5-20-07

 

by Empy
5-24-07
lol

 

by Empy
5-28-07
And now... Politics!
George Bush is stupid.
I disagree!
CONSERVATIVE BASTARD!
LIBERAL BASTARD!
poop
turd

 

by Empy
5-28-07
I want you.
Oh... uh... what?
You have beautiful lips. And your thighs are exquisite.
Please, go away.
Your legs are so smooth... And your nipples are so deliciously pointed.
I'm calling the motherfucking cops.

 

by Empy
5-31-07
Drttt.
Drrtt...
DRRRT!

 

HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
by Empy, 5-31-07

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