All comics by FranceSucks

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by FranceSucks
12-29-02
DIE CANADIAN
Oh shit, eh...
That's great
And this is why you should never, ever make a comic when you're stoned off your ass. It always seems funny at the time...
I am sooooo Sean Connery...
If he's Sean Connery, then I'm John Holmes!

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
Come, my son. Sit with me and confess your sins.
Well, last night I raped a woman, shot two niggers, and smoked six joints rolled in bible pages. After that, I-
Okay okay, spiritual healing is all done. Now it's time for some... SEEEEXUAL HEAAAALIN!

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
Wasn't I black just like, two seconds ago?
This is funny if you've smoked a couple grams of really good bud, I promise.
Oh well... Let's dance!

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
Look...
I said look!
They're asian! Isn't that hilarious?

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
You're fat and white!
You're a fucking chicken!
Well, I'll be damned... I am a chicken!
You know what we have to do now, right?
You can dance if you want to... You can leave your friends behind...
Dance, white boy! DANCE!!!
You know it!

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
Can't figure it out? Look harder, fucker.

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
Racism is a terrible, terrible thing... But holy shit, it makes for the best jokes. For instance, what would you call Fred Flintstone if he was black?
Four score and seven years ago...
Dude, you ain't Abraham Lincoln, you're a cat.
Well, uh...
You'd call him a nigger! Get it? He's black, so you call him nigger! (I get the feeling somebody is gonna take this the wrong way and kick my fat white ass.)
You're black!
You got me there...

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
I'm John Holmes!
Yes, yes you are.
Holy shit, his wang can talk.
Who the fuck said that?
Your penis, of course!

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
President Reagan can shove it!

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
Jas142 - You'll find him killing a Canadian on the right side of this frame while dressed in ninja battle gear.
EvilAngel911 - She's a pirate. Ninjas own pirates. That's okay though, cause she makes fun of Mr Levin. He's such a bastard.
MrDestructo - He's a nina kangaroo with a gun. After he shoots the priest, he plans to stab him in the face. Repeatedly.

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
MrDestructo is a NINJA kangaroo, not a nina kangaroo. I just made a fucking typo. I fucking hate typos. You know what else I hate? You.

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
Little Johnny comes over to play at Mr Levin's house...
Wanna see my wang?
No.
Can I see yours?
...I'm leaving.
Mr Levin really wanted to "play", huh? (God, I'm so funny I bet you just pissed yourself.)
Why?
Cause you're gay.

 

by FranceSucks
12-29-02
Hey, what do you stoners want for Christmas?
Huh huh huh. I want a big wang. Huh huh huh.
Heh heh heh heh. You said wang. Heh heh heh heh.
Huh huh huh huh.
Heh heh heh heh.
Hey! Do you bitches realize you don't even look like Beavis and Butthead?
Shut the fuck up, narrator.
Heh heh heh heh. You said fuck. Heh heh. And up. Heh heh heh heh.

 

by FranceSucks
12-30-02
Erectile Disfunction

 

by FranceSucks
12-30-02
The little asian dyke on the left is Anna. The fat white flamer on your right is Josh. They pretend to be dating to cover up the fact that they're both homosexuals.
Observe how they communicate on a higher level.
You're so fat and white.
You're so asian.
And the conversation runs dry...
That so? I happen to have a rather large penis.
...You know, I have a small penis.

 

by FranceSucks
12-30-02
I've really got to apologize for that last comic...
I told a terrible lie. In reality, Anna doesn't have a large penis. In fact, as far as I know, she doesn't have a penis at all.
But it really is true that Josh is fat and white. I am so glad I'm not fat or white.

 

by FranceSucks
12-30-02
Yup, I told another lie in that last comic... (If you wanna call it a comic, that is. If you do wanna call it a comic, you're probably a dumbass anyways.)
The truth is, I'm actually fat. I'm definately not white though.
Below is a picture of me. It was taken during my vacation last summer.
I am so black.

 

by FranceSucks
12-31-02
Happy new year, asian kids.
Hunan...
Kung Po...
Chow mein!
Teriyaki!
...get a room you horny little bastards.
CHOP SUEY!!!
BOK CHOI!!!

 

by FranceSucks
1-04-03
The horse to your left represents a pimped out jetta. It's got all that mad tight shit that homies love to stick on their car.
I'm pimpin it in the mean streets of Boca Raton...
Grrr... I'm out of donuts. I'll go arrest somebody!
The homie to your left was driving the Jetta, which just got pulled over.
Yo dawg that is not mad tight pimpin to the shizzle my nizzle jizzle wizzle I have a small wang
Well sir, I'm gonna have to write you a ticket for drunk driving.
I'm sure a bit of sweet lovin can clear this off my record, eh?
Mr President, that only worked in the Clinton days.

 

by FranceSucks
1-04-03
I'm a motherfucking bird!
I'm an asian lesbian.
Bake me a pie, bitch.
Sexual Healing!
You know the funny part? I'm totally sober right now.
You know, Mars doesn't have a lot of porn.
Consider my penis, young padawon.

 

by FranceSucks
1-06-03
Monday, the sixth day of the first month. 'Tis on this much loved "teacher work day" that the cult of something or other meets to do... stuff
You know, Truman, nobody's around. There's plenty of time for a bit of lovin...
Mr Levin's love session with his baby/dog/lover Truman is interrupted by a visit from that guy who played Ralph in "Happy Days" and his pet cat "Mr Erection".
Mr Levin! I've come for you!
Yeah, that was like four hours ago, and it only took you half a god damned minute. You'll never satisfy a man like that!
Seeing as Mr Levin has now creamed his pants, I'm leaving. Finish the story in your head, fag.
God dammit, you know that's not what I meant. When I said come for you, I meant come as in walk in the door. See how the door's open? See?
That cat in his arms... so sexy... for once I desire the pussy... oh yes...

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