All comics by GobeeLorac

Profile

 

by GobeeLorac
1-30-03
True story:South Florida 1972
Hi, My name is Jim Kiick, I'd like to pay for these steaks and beer with a check
oh no!
Not a problem...I'm a Dolphin
MANAGER TO AISLE #3 FOR CHECK APPROVAL!!!

 

by GobeeLorac
1-30-03
Th-Th-that was Jim Kiick!!!
yeah?....so....?
you DO live here don't yo?
What's a "Dolphin"?

 

by GobeeLorac
1-30-03
True (almost) story continues...
Oh No not this checker again!!
sorry about the confusion Mr. Kiick
No problem,Sweetie, my pal Larry Csonka is buying this time....
Can I write a check for this?
MANAGER TO AISLE #3 FOR CHECK APPROVAL!!

 

by GobeeLorac
1-30-03
I am such a small part of our capitaliatic society...
No Blood for Oil

 

by GobeeLorac
1-30-03
I am soooo lonely.....
What would I be if legs bent the other way

 

by GobeeLorac
1-30-03
The Day-school Dilema
I don't think the persident made a compelling reason for going to Iraq,Do you?
I only like yellow M&Ms,coz that's my favorite color

 

by GobeeLorac
1-30-03
A HeadStart ?
Abortion is the inalieinable right of a woman to control her body!!
If your Mommy believed that;you couldn't say that.

 

by GobeeLorac
2-01-03
Al-Jezera Nightly News
In Kuwait today an American and his Zionist lackey were attacked by a brave soldier of Allah
The attack was caught on a traffic survelience camera
That aught to teach those bastards to flaunt our traffic laws

 

by GobeeLorac
2-01-03
Al-Jezera Nightly News
Continuing our coverage of the attack on two Americans...
They were apparently stopped at a red light when the Jeep they were ricing in was sprayed with bullets
Stupid Americans...driving in SUV's supports terrorism

 

by GobeeLorac
2-01-03
Al-Jezera Nightly News
In more recent news...
a postal vehicle was commandeered by a lone gunman...
after a lengthy stand-off involving great many police,Mr Hussein was released after promising never to do that again

 

by GobeeLorac
2-01-03
It's a dog's life...
sleeping on the couch,eating,crapping on the rug...
but you're a goat!
are you trying to blow my cover?

 

by GobeeLorac
2-01-03
Did you know our dog was a goat?
No. That explains why he got so testy when I tried to milk him

 

by GobeeLorac
2-01-03
Why do I have to cover ALL the traffic stories?
You are a chicken,you cross the road
That is so lame....
but cheaper than a hitman

 

by GobeeLorac
2-01-03
Be it ever so humble...
Be it ever so humble...
...there's no place like home
...there's no place like home
MOM! The dog crapped on my sleeping pile again!
I slept in it last night, now it's your turn

 

by GobeeLorac
2-01-03
I live in a war-torn land with my sister....
don't wake up
But we have a nice house and Daddy has a great job...
don't wake up
What happened?
I told you not to wake up

 

by GobeeLorac
2-03-03
A Question for OGG...
OH GREAT GURU,does EVERYBODY have the right to say bad things about the president?
Yes my child everyone in the world!...
Do they have the right to say nice things too?

 

by GobeeLorac
2-03-03
What's there to eat?!
Steak and french fries
What about a vegetable?
I'll see what we have
You could qualify if you didn't move around so much
I HEARD THAT!!!

 

by GobeeLorac
2-03-03
TRAGEDY IN THE SKY
In the name of all the world's people...
we silently say a prayer
that those lost to us are not lost at all
Their spirit and hopes live on
in freedom loving people throughout the world
no blood for oil

 

by GobeeLorac
2-03-03
I have a bad feeling about this...
Dude, what can be so bad about summer camp?
I heard a lot of weird stuff be happening here...
You don't HAVE to say "stuff" you can say shit here
This introduction is taking too long;I'm getting a rash
Welcome, campers to Camp Perdu. I'm your senior counsellor,Julie . Did you know "perdu" is French for lost?

 

by GobeeLorac
2-06-03
Baa Ruff
The same to you
l told you don't sleal the goat-dog
?
Let's go home
Fine Ahhhhhhh

 

by GobeeLorac
2-07-03
remember the song WOODSTOCK "and I dreamed I saw jet planes and bombers riding shotgun in the sky turning into butterflies above our nation"
Do you really want that to happen man!
Yes, the day after everyone else does.

 

by GobeeLorac
2-07-03
The Sex Life of Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein carried on a tottid affair with a cousin
Relatively speaking...
"Physics is Phun!!"

 

by GobeeLorac
2-07-03
The Sex Life of Albert Einstein
My mistake! change "torrid" to "torrid" to get the joke
Well gedowtahere already!!!

 

by GobeeLorac
2-11-03
I really don't like this background. Do you?
To tell you the truth I don't really care,but this one SUCKS!
How about this one?
Sucks even more!
How about this one?
PERFECT,PERFECT,PERFECT!!!

 

by GobeeLorac
2-15-03
It's just a matter of inflection...
Bin Laden and Hussein
Foes o' ME.
Chirac and Schroeder
Faux amis

 

by GobeeLorac
2-16-03
Texas Justice...
We're here with a juror from the Clara Harris trial
Some say that 20 years is too harsh a penalty for running her husband over a few times
Wht did the jury make such an extreme decision?
Sudden passion

 

by GobeeLorac
2-16-03
I've heard a lot of this crap that I'm a total pacifist.Untrue
Tell them the truth about the money-changers
I chased the money-changers from the temple because they defiled the house of my Father
Capitalism wasn't the cause...
I love the Grand Canyon....
Some of our finest work

 

by GobeeLorac
2-19-03
From our Allies the French
I see no reason for an 18th...oops,I meant second, UN resolution
One we French would be forced to oppose
From our Allies the Germans
Ve oonterstahnt der necessity ov var as a last resort
but ve vill not contribute to zee var effort
Tranlation:
The French and the Germans ar ar Allies

 

by GobeeLorac
2-19-03
I want two Bush burgers...
two Cheney chickens
and three orders of Freedom Fries
any Scud shakes with that?

 

by GobeeLorac
2-19-03
I'm supporting the boycott of French products...
but all good rolling papers are made in France...what should I do?
use a bong,man
thery're all made in China

 

by GobeeLorac
2-19-03
Harley Wanken: Owner of Camp Perdu:
Camp Perdu is a lovely escape for young people of all ages
That we occupy a Space-Time anomoly proves it
Perdu used to be spelled Perdue, which meant woods;
until we learned it was redundant
Think of it as "Brigadoon" meets Daniel Boone
except there's no Buddy Ebsen

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