All comics by GrandPappySmash

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
Whatcha doin'?
I'm learning black magic. I got this book on it at Barnes and Noble.
Black magic, huh? And you bought it at a CHAIN book store? Come on...you DO realize that stuff is a crock of shit, right?
"KORTAP OD FELAN INFERNUS SOL TERR WAV'NEA."
BAMPF!!!
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!
Told you.

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
Hey, how's it going?
Huh? Leave me alone, disgusting rodent.
You're all filthy and probably have rabies or something infectious that could kill me.
"Well, nothing infectious, anyway...dumbass..."

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
What the hell?! Didn't I tell you that was a bad idea?
Yes you did.
But you wouldn't listen...NO, you just had to do things your way. I bet it won't even come out now, will it?
*sigh* No, it won't.
So what are you going to do now, dipshit?
I'm just going to pound it the rest of the way in...

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
Wha--- A dear John letter?
I...I can't believe she's leaving me...
My life is over...there's only one thing left to do...
...and that's put myself out with the trash.
Now let's see...today's Friday, and garbage day is Thursday...
Damn that bitch has got bad timing. This week's going to suck.

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
Damn, these things itch.
Hey there, Rube. How's everything...
God in heaven...
Uh....Rube?
Heh...finally caught one of the little buggers...look at the size of him!
Oh, Christ....

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
Hey, how's it going?
Not so hot.
You definitely don't look happy. What's wrong?
Let's just call it a "zipper problem".
"Zipper problem"? I...oh...OH...
Yeah. It stings like a motherfucker.

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
So...is it...stuck?
Yeah, pretty much.
Geez...have you tried unzipping...yourself...?
Nope. Don't intend to, either. The last thing I need is more groin-related discomfort.
You're just going to wait it out? Shit! Well, best of luck to you, man.
I won't need luck until I have to pee again.

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
Monday...
What are you doing up there in your room, Bobby?!
Nothing, mother.
Wednesday...
You'd better not be looking at porn on the internet, Bobby!
I'm NOT, mother!
Friday...
Come down for dinner RIGHT NOW, Bobby!!!
Coming, mother...

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
M-M-MUH-MUH-MISS-ISS-ISS-ISS
ISS-ISS-ISS-ISS-ISS-ISS-ISS-IPP-IPP-IPP-PP-P-
One of the cruelest jokes of my childhood was developing a stutter while living in Mississippi...
F-F-F-FUCK TH-TH-THIS...

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
Just got this memo from the head of the Roman Guard...looks like you've got nail duty up on Golgotha today, Cledus.
Okie Dokie.
Um...I have to tack you up now...sorry.
Let's just get this over with...I don't want to be hanging around for too long. *hyuck hyuck, snort*
Shit...I missed...
Oh, come ON!!!

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
Give me a minute...
Hey, you okay in there, man?
Shut up.
I just want to make sure you're...getting out okay. Everything all right?
I piss like a showerhead now, and my dick looks like a hot dog that's been in the microwave too long.
That's gotta suck.

 

by GrandPappySmash
9-06-02
Owie....owie...owie...
Geez, can't you Romans do anything right?
MEDIC!
Pathetic...truly pathetic...
I'm the understudy. Booyah!
Let's see what you've got, bitch.

 

by GrandPappySmash
2-21-05
These two little girls torment me. Their smug, self-satisfied expressions hint at something ominous, as if perhaps they hold some knowledge that we cannot attain.
They stare at me, as if staring into the depths of my soul, seeing my darkest desires, and I shudder in fear at what they may say to me should they ever open their mouths to speak.
Put on some pants.
Pervert.

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