All comics by Italiano

 

by Italiano
11-04-09
Dude, how the hell did we got here?
I dont know Stumpy, maybe it's a nightmare!
It looks like Heaven, are we dead or something?
I'll ask God.
Stumpy wanna know if we're dead.
Dude, I really don't know!

 

by Italiano
11-04-09
I am a mad serialkiller and i'm going to slap you real hard with this hammer!
Does that hammer has an explosion mettamorganor on it's original brainsystem?
Fuck, it loos like i've got the wrong opponent!
Oh no, my meat is very teastfull!
It's a sad story!

 

Why do all people see me as a monster?
He will go away when he thinks i'm dead!
by Italiano, 11-05-09

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Santa, I wanna say something I allways wanted to tell you, but I could not, but now I feel like I can do it!
I fucked up my life, my new girlfriend left me five minutes after i've met her, and my mom doesn't wanna see me anymore.
Yeah, I know you're a doll!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Today I wanna tell you a strange story about a person who just've go out of hi's place in the darkest corner of the world!
Hi, i'm Reaper!
My story begins here, in the land of Nothing!
By the way, i'm homoseksual.

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Before Reaper went to the land of Nothing...
Reaper! You are not longer welcome in the Hell, you will be baned to the horriblest place in the Universe: the land of Nothing!
Oh dear!
Make sure you allways wear a condom!
Allways, dad!
So, here I am!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
In the land of Nothing...
I think i'll just prey.
Jesus, can you here me?
Fuck you!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Reaper doesn't give up...
Why is this button placed over here?
???
What the...

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
What is this place?
Man, where the Hell am I?
Yo bunny, can you tell me where I am?
You're in the horriblest place in the whole f*cking universe!
Damn it!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
There's a place! Let's go in there!
YIKESSSS!!!
Gees, never see a Hellian before?

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Would there be some food in here?
Weird food.
SAYS YOU, MORON!
That weird food thinks i'm food.

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Still at the house...
There's a man over there!
Wassup, i'm Reaper!
Hi, i'm John!
Your kinda cute.
Oh God!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Stil at the house...
There's a man over there!
Wassup, i'm Reaper!
Hi, i'm John!
Your kinda cute.
Oh God!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Back in Hell...
Hi dad, I want you to meet my new boyfriend!
What a moron!
Hi, i'm John.
I liked that cigarette-man better!
Isn't he just the cutiest person you've ever seen?

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
So, what do you do for work?
I'm a porn actor.
A porn actor in homosexual porn movies?
No, I only do blonde office-chicks with small breasts and a big ass.
What kind of moron Reaper met on that forgotten dark place?

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
A letter for you, Mr. Jones!
Thanks, Rick!
Dear Kevin, I'm totally in love with you, and I think you feel the same, loves, your secret love, R.
Aint gonna happen!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
So John, let's get back to your place!
It's called Earth.
Welcome to the land of Nothing.
How did you do that?

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Reaper went to the land of Nothing together with hi's boyfriend John...
Can't we stay here, I like this place more than Earth.
Are we gonna make love here, then?

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Back on Earth...
Wanna have sex?
I think not.
Why not?
Listen Reaper, your okay, but I'm not really homosexual.
Wanna have sex after we played Scrabble?
You naughty boy!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Dad, can you hear me?
Yes, Reaper!
I think John doesn't love me anymore!
Why?
Hi there, hotty! Having a nice ass today, huh?

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Reaper does'nt feel so good about hi's relation with John...
So John, let's talk about our relationship.
I gotta feeling that you date other men.
Really?
You did'nt came to bed last night.
I was talking with the mailman.

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Reaper went down to hi's father...
Thank Satan!
That's right dad, I think I'm gonna break up with John!
I almost know he doesn't love me anymore, so I'm going out for a new, even cutier boyfriend!
Why do I have to have a son who's homosexual!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Later, in Reaper and John's house...
John, I'm breakig up with you.
Great.
GREAT??!!
Yes.
Yes! Mailman, here I come!
SCREW YOU, DIPSHIT!!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Later, in Hell...
What're you goin' to do now?
It's over between me and John, dad!
Oh no!
I found a new, very cute boyfriend! Yo DJ, come over here!
Dear Satan, please kill me!
Yagayo, dude!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
On the office...
Hey Reaper, what's goin' on?
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE JERK! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU ANYMORE!!
Listen Reaper, I really want you back!
WHY?!
The mailman is very annoying! Please take me back, I love you!
John, I have annother boyfriend!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Still in conversation...
I would love to take you back, but what am I goin' to tell DJ?
I have a plan!
What?
I'm gonna kill DJ!

 

by Italiano
11-05-09
Dude, if you had the change to shine one night, what would you do?
I would put on a comedy show!
You like comedy?
Kind of.
Damn, I can eat some fried CHICKEN now! Haha, get em? Fried? Chicken? I'm a chicken, hehe... Oh screw comedy!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
Once upon a time in the west...
Hope that carrot eating jury doesn't run away!
I'm gonna win this race, Buck!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
Ooh, aah! Yeah! Come on baby!
What the hell are you watching?
I'm watching an epic battle of the big fight at Hellard Platson when 300 dirty whores, 800 overjoying homosexuals and 53 crapping cows died!
Jesus!
Don't blame me!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
I'm gonna shoot you till you fucking die!
I'm already dead!
Oh crap! Can I get a moment?

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
John made a plan to kill DJ...
Are you sure you wanna do this, we also can talk it out.
Reaper, if this is all over, we're gonna have sex like you never imagined!
Man, he knows how to handle me!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
Honopalupicus ratarius pipisolus kavatorius dipiipidopatomoa li bakanabanana devacuro tullie!
Kosomnosos ricarvadisipopulossuu kamahukiun kadvadddagkikka li pasabri bassunmosdekala vadcutmaod deipeipepipuilupei!
Just like you say, dude! Your the man!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
I'm Zulumahunuhunu Dunumaludidi couri camouri mouri ouri moruiouri mori tori moritoritatiuni zuni.
I'm Bob.
What a weird name.
Screw you!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
John's plan did work...
So John, did you killed him?
Absolutely!
I'm afraid I'll have to tell you that you're a heartless bastard, John!
I'll make a place free in Hell for you!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
How was your comedy show?
It sucks! I'm the worst comedian ever! Comedy is likely nothing for me!
What about theater?
I'll give it a try!
"Oh Juliet, your eyes are as dark as your heart, your hear as ugly as your face, I've never seen a monster like you before!..." OH SCREW THEATER!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
I hate mondays!
Ah well, it's almost over and I survived!
This book says that lasagna will give you warts!
I wish I was dead!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
I love to enjoy the playful nature of a cat!
Hey Blackcat, lets make some fun!
Do you have an appointment?

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
Blackcat, when I think about how much money I'm paying for you, do you actually now what I must do?
Feed me!
Just give me food, we can talk later about your stupid problems!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
Hello, John Didrick speaking! The police? According to you the plantation died? The harvest is lost? People are dieing on the street?
#!?*&^$%!
Yeah, that's right! Okey sir, immideatley sir!
~##$%@!
I'll have to put my shoes on, again!
No wonder the wallpaper is falling down!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
What do you prefer want, Blackcat, goin' to the farm or go camping?
Can I also choose for an amputation?

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
Blackcat, you should be more careful about your body!
I do! My body is like a temple!
With a garage for two cars!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
A picture of my dad!
"A good farmer has good humor" he always sad.
That's why he has a corncob in he's ear!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
Here I am, wasting my time by watching television, wile other people are working hard and perform something!
I like it!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
"SIGH!"
On this moment of the day i've got the less energy!
The moment I'm awake!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
I'm a lonely man, Blackcat!
What do you thaught I was, a fried sausage?
I need to go outside, some more times!
Go stamp a happy sticker on the mailbox!
I wanna know some nice chicks!
You're ready for the ninety's, John!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
"Welcome to our Horror-Theater!"
"Tonight's movie: The curse of the vampiregoldfish!"
"Ralph, there's a fish in your neck!"
I love classicals!

 

by Italiano
11-06-09
What's in my lucky-box today?
"A big, blonde beauty is gonna change your life!"
Gees!
John, there's a 7 feet tall woman with a chainsaw by the door!

 

by Italiano
11-08-09
Dear God, i've come up here to ask U something I always wanted to ask U.
Go ahead, sonny!
Will I ever be as powerfull as U are?
Forget about it, boy! Can I ask you something?
Sure!
Why do you've become a loser, second son?

 

by Italiano
11-08-09
The Death takes much souls of innocent people!
Why he doesn't he take my soul, so long I'm a bad human?
Imagine he stands next to me, ready to take my soul and eat it on a silver plate and after he says: "Aah, the taste of a forgotten soul!"
Aah, that's just makin' me sick!
Ha! Got yah!

 

by Italiano
11-11-09
I've got a suprise for you, Blackcat! Guess what?
BOE! BOEHOE! KNOR! KNOR! KNOR! TOK! TOK! TOK!
We're going to the farm!
I thought you have a date!

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