All comics by Janapada

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by Janapada
5-18-13
One day, Jesus was watching TV.
Ha ha ha! Oh, hip TV comedian Dennis Leary, you never fail to amuse!
I am SUCH a jackass!
Suddenly, the TV died.
DEAR GOD NO!
To escape the fire, Jesus fled to the sea, where he met an exciting new friend!
Will you be my friend?
raech 4 teh skiez, @$$hole!

 

by Janapada
5-18-13
I enjoy the mountains, Witchfriend.
fuk u jesus give me a dollar!
Villains lurk nearby!
We are bandits!
We shall steal from that witch!
KRAKOW!
You have felt the wrath of Jesus, my friend!
Jesus is a deadly adversary to behold. I speak only the truth.

 

by Janapada
5-18-13
We are flying to heaven. We shall meet my friend, Man Artist!
omgwtfbbq
It has been a long time, Man Artist!
HEY!
Three days later...
AND THEN I STOLE HIS LOIN CLOTH!
RIGHT ON!

 

by Janapada
5-18-13
Name yourself, villain!
I am popular musician, Ghost of Weird Al Yankovich.
hi weird al will u autograph my br00m?
Not a problem! Anything for a fan!
Back home...
Stupid girl, have I not I told you the ocean is no place for a lady? Prepare yourself for punishment!
shut up, ur not my real dad!!!

 

by Janapada
5-18-13
Hello, Spankycowboy! What did you need to discuss with me late at night in the cemetery?
Nothing personal Jesus, but I've been hired to kill you. Any last requests?
Don't kill me!
Alright. Anything else?
Pretend you're a chicken!
Cluck cluck!

 

by Janapada
5-18-13
At the Kaiser's estate:
He has some nerve, killing my ugliest lieutenant! You must teach this Jesus a lesson!
Yes, my liege.
He said "No dessert!"
Woe is me!
Back to our heroes...
hi u look hot want 2 sexxorz?
No.

 

by Janapada
5-18-13
Hello, Ghost of Weird Al Yankovich! What's up?
Hey, Jesus. Meet my archnemesis, Omnideus.
A pleasure to meet you, Omnideus!
Yo, Jesus! Meet my beautiful daughter Wendy!
Three weeks later...
That's it! We are officially broken up!
I never loved you anyway!

 

by Janapada
5-18-13
Hey baby, ready to go?
Yes, deer.
They agree to eat at Cruisin' Christ's Burger Joint.
Wendy! Man Artist, how could you?
Don't try to stop me, Jesus! This is true love!
Six weeks later...
I said no! You may not marry him!
I hate you, Daddy! Waah!

 

by Janapada
5-18-13
o no jesus, i just got a email, weve been drafted 4 war!!!
On the Southern Front:
commander, NO, how cud u sell out ur own comrades?!?
We are comrades no longer, Witchfriend! The enemy has promised me plenty for my cooperation! Don't get in my way!
Behind enemy lines:
What do you mean the field marshal smoked all the cigarettes?! We had a deal, Jesus!
Deception is the art of war!

 

by Janapada
5-19-13
We have your friends, Jesus! If you ever want to see them again, you must storm Kaiser Sanchez's lair, alone and unarmed!
Jesus does not negotiate with terrorists! Away with you!
Oh no! What would Storm Shadow do in this situation?
Oh no! What would Jesus do in this situation?
A friendship of centuries is born!
!
!

 

by Janapada
5-19-13
Hooray for Jesus! You destroyed Kaiser Sanchez's palace and saved us all!
It is not over yet, Jesus! I shall deal with you myself!

 

by Janapada
5-19-13
It's over, Sanchez!
Ha ha ha! My powers are immense!
The world shall tremble in fear!
Can anyone stop Jesus?

 

by Janapada
5-19-13
happy b-day jesus
ill kick ur fukken @$$, gafag
Surprise! You've been transported to Hell!
WHEN IS CAKE?!?!!

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