Mr_Kass  

You found my secret account! Now then, what are you going to do? I mean, there's no hints here, are there? ARE THERE? NO THERE AREN'T!

Actually, I set up this account for a very good reason: I HAVE VIDEOTAPES OF ALCYONAE, KITTY_KAT, AND WENISINFURS HAVING LESBIAN SEX! If you want a copy, go to http://www.goatse.cx then create a comic using the word "dirtclod" somewhere in it. I'll search for it weekly then give you your damn lesbos. Please do not tell anyone about this account. It is secret for a reason. A pretty crappy reason, I admit, but if you do then bad things will happen. Bad, bad things.

(and they'll happen to you.)