All comics by Oddwalls

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by Oddwalls
8-23-03
The Grim Reaper returns to his luxurious home after a day of long hard work... to deal with Spriggans the cat.
Why must I always go to work to slay people who need it, then come home to deal with you every day, Spriggans?
Because you love me and always want to be nice and courteous to your favorite cat?
AIEEEE!!!!
Sometime i wonder why I try...
Look at that scorch mark. That'll take weeks to get out.

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
Ladies and Getlemen: the Angel Dudes!
What's up, dude?
Not much, dude.
Aren't we supposed to be on guardian angel duty, dude?
Yeah, but who will know if we tip a few back instead?
How about... oh, i don't know, GOD?!
Dude, I think God heard you.
Naw, it can't be God, i said he didn't know we were here!

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
I hate my job.

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
We here at Oddwalls apologise for the lack of any possible meaning for the last comic.
To make it up to you, i will catch fire and have my ashes combust for your enjoyment.
AIEEEEEE!!!
That wasn't so bad. Oh, wait...

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
I'm a BIG PIMP! Yo Yo.
Hi. I am the Microsoft Word paper clip.
And I though *I* was stupid....
I want some cheese. Who has cheese?

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? / Deny thy father and refuse thy name; / Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, / And I'll no longer be a Capulet
uh...
Line...
Why did i ever sing up for this stupid school play? Why, O Lord? Why? Why did i even stay here? I'm out of here...

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
My life is horrible... i wish i would just spontaneously combust or something...
What the hell?
That can be arranged...

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
Who the hell are you?
Oh, let's see...black robes, scythe, has the power to kill people and send them either up or down... yeah, i think i may be the Grim Reaper.
Can you kill me? I hate my life...
Of course i can! Jeez the questins i get asked in the field... Damit, i hate my job...
Where the hell are you taking me?
You said it... to the big man's crib, yo yo.

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
Hello. In order to *attempt to alleviate some boredom on your part, i will strip myself to a skeleton, combust, and sweep up my own ash. Here goes.
................... ......... .............................OWIE!!! PAIN!!!!
And now for the...
See ya later!

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
Do your slayings *EVER* not involve fire of some sort?
No.

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back home and slay my moronic cat again. Enjoy the food.
Food? Has that wierdo completely lost it?
Welcome to Cuthuluburger, may I take your soul...der?
Now is one of those times i wish i carried some mace with me.

 

by Oddwalls
8-23-03
Great, all my dreams are coming true with horrible reality, the Grim Reaper exists, I'm standing in Hell, and Cuthulu is asking me whether or not i want fries with my order.
I'd like to punch a demon upside the face for this.
I am not going to look behind me, i'm not going to do it, no way...
That can be arranged...

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
Hello. I am Spriggans, the tabby cat. I am here to tell you about the horrible way the Grim Reaper treats cats.
You see, he get some sort of perverse pleasure from frying cats with his powers. This is wrong.
Now, all cats and cat lovers must join up against this....
...my god! I'M BURNING ALIVE! AIEEE!!!!
Mmmm... twisted, perverse pleasue.... i can taste the revenge.... and it tastes like chicken!

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
Who the hell are you?
The devil's intern. Do you have some sort of appointment?
All I know is that the Grim Reaper came with me down here, then had to leave to toast a cat.
Ol' Grim sent you? Could i have your name, please?
Julie Kincaid.
Hmm... according to this, you aren't going to die until the Rapture comes along. In 60 years. Or it could be tomorrow, who the hell knows?

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
I hate my job.
I hate my job.
O.K., maybe we're running out of ideas. MAYBE. ...Aww, the hell with this, I'm going to get a Soul Shake at Cuthuluburger.
I hate my job.

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
I'm Grim. I like to turn people into fire.
I'm Spriggans. Grim hates me.
Methinks it's time for the cast to say hello...
I'm Julie. I'm trapped in Hell.
I'm the Lizard. I combust for people's enjoyment.
I'm an angel dude, dude. I goof off constantly, you know, dude?
I AM TEH FLAMEZ! I APPEAR WHENEVAR GRIM TOASTS A PERSON! PH3AR TEH FLAMEZ! PH3AR!

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
I am the dragon! Give me the princess, and i will stop terrorizing your kingdom!
What, is that all? You can have her!
Well, that was easy.
Stupid plot devices... people calling me "princess..." this rocks! ....Oh, sh--
Alright, where's the next princess?
AIEEE!!!!

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
This is bad service!
Who the hell cares what you think? I'll tell you! NO-ONE in Hell cares!
I demand to see the owner of this horrible establishment!
I will not turn around, not... going... to do it!
That can be arranged...

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
Hello, space creature.
Hello, earth creature.
DIE!!
NO, YOU DIE!!
Heh heh, scythe beats ray gun any day.

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
That stupid village still hasn't gotten me another tasty princess. HEY YOU VILLAGERS! WHERE'S MY PRINCESS?!
We got something better! here he comes!
Who are you?
I'm Grim, and i'm your executor.
AIEE!!
Where's the fun of it all?

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
Romo saw Julie get transported to hell, and was too late...
Oh my GOD! I got here to late! She's nothing but ash!
I have no more reason to live! kill me now!
Yet again...
That can be arranged....

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
Hello, Roma. Any calls?
Just one. Some guy said he hated his job and hung up. Then Grimmy and a girl named Julia arrived.
Thank you. I'll make sure to make my jobs more torturing and "fun."
You do that, sir.
Feels like that Soul Shake is starting to kick in...
Cheese! I want some cheese!
!eseehc emos tnaw I !eseehC

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
I didn't HAVE to do it... It was begging to be done.
AIEE!!

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
TOBOR KILL THINGIE!!!
Oh! a shiny penny!
BANZAI!!! OH NO, COMPUTING ERROR. *crash*
Sometimes I amaze even myself.

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
Ahem....
I hate my job.
I hate microphones too, but I hate my job more.

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
A-hah!
A-hah?
You!
Me?
I had to knock a pointy-headed guy out to get in here, but MAN, it sure was worth it to get in to see satan! now WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE THE HELL IS SATAN?!
I'm Satan's intern and you just knoked him out.

 

by Oddwalls
8-24-03
What grim sees
Hey, how's the Soul Shake?
Good.
What Julie sees
Hey, how's the Soul Shake?
Pretty good.
What the Narrator sees
Hey, how's the Soul Shake?
CHEESE! I WANTS MOOORE CHEESE!!!

 

by Oddwalls
8-25-03
Hi. I'm a rich guy. Who are you?
I'm here to kill you.
No.
Can I at least keep my amazing wealth?

 

by Oddwalls
8-25-03
AUGH!!! IT'S A GRIM GUY! RUN AROUND!!!
Boo.

 

by Oddwalls
12-30-03
Is Gondor in the house?
Is Rivendell in the house?
Lay down that funky beat, yeah!
Where the shire at?
Yo Treebeard my brother are you in the house?
What?
Where the elf girls at?

 

by Oddwalls
12-30-03
Hobbiton it’s on!!!
What?
Hobbiton it’s on!!!
Yeah, say it, Elves and hobbits!
Hobbiton it’s on!!!
Hobbiton it’s on!!!

 

by Oddwalls
12-30-03
I’m Quickbeam with the masterplan
I’m Bombadil with the mic in my hand
We’re Lords of the Rhymes from a far off land
And We’ll Rock this joint with our hobbit band
Meanwhile...
Soul Shake?
Soul Shake. This is wierd, but it could be wierder. So... here's your money. Get the damn shake.

 

by Oddwalls
12-30-03
Mirror, mirror on the wall
wha?
Who’s the greatest hobbit of them all?
What the hell is this guy doing?
Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins he’s only 3 feet tall!
This is some messed up shit.

 

by Oddwalls
12-30-03
Julie says: Whoa... a dwarf... cool. Woow... can they say that?
Well my name is Gimli
I’m a f*cking dwarf !
I don't get LotR, but this i f*cking cool!
I been slaying mutherf*ckers
from the south to the north
Whoa... soul shake is starting to kick in...
That ain’t Mirkwood I’m choppin with my battleaxe
I’m on an orc stampede like Shadowfax!

 

by Oddwalls
12-30-03
Now all you Boffins and Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfeet
I’m the skinny hobbit with all the fat beats
My name is Merry and I’m five feet tall
I used to f*ck shit up at Brandybuck hall.
My man Bilbo’s older than Gerontius Took
Yeah you can read about it in a big Red Book.

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