All comics by PlatformerMastah

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This is an introduction of a comic called "The Gaming Alley". It's about gaming, but also about the life of some other guys. Let me introduce them.
Hey, I'm Dex. I am obsessed with Tetris, and not very bright...but hey, at least I'm obsessed with Tetris. Oh, and this is not a kilt.
Uh huh. Well, I'm Jake. Stupid...I mean Dex's best friend. I kinda...okay really find him annoying, but he's pretty cool.
I'm Kate, Dex's girlfriend. Yes, he is kind of stupid sometimes, but I don't care...Also, I am not as attractive as I should've been, but oh well.
I'm Ugga, some random idiot who has an IQ lower than the times Dex went out on a date. (3)
There are more...but you'll find out about them later.
And I'm the ugly asian girl who won't be in the comic at all!

 

Excuse the crappiness of the introduction. It will get better, I swear. Anyway, at Dex's house...
Tetris, Tetris, gonna play some Tetris.
On what system, exactly?
NES, Of course...
Why NES?...Why the hell do you even play Tetris?! It has no plot, and is repetitive...
It's just the bricks...they have some sort of story to tell...They have such a complex past...
That's it, I'm outta here.

 

(Once again, sorry for the slashes. They just...appear.) At school...
Wicked!
I am your new teacher...TeachBot5000. Let us begin, students...
But...I don't have a text book. I don't even have a desk or classmates!
Open out your test books to page 1337...
Must be made by Microsoft, or something...
DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE. ERROR! WILL BE SHUT DOWN WITH NO WARNING! *BZZZZZZZZZT*

 

At school still...
Peh...
And now, we introduce our new teacher, Mr. C.
HOLY POOP!!
Okay, open out your books as we begin lesson...
2 b contud lol!1!
Why do I have this strange feeling that this is a dream?

 

That's right folks! Jesus Christ is Dex's new teacher!
Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, think happy thoughts.
On page number 101, you will notice...
Tetris, Cheez Puffs, Kate nude...
...Dexter, are you listening to me?
THOSE MAGAZINES ARE JAKE'S NOT MINE, I SWEAR!!!
Pardon?

 

Dex's house.
Yeah, Jesus H Christ was my teacher!
Uh huh. Right. Jesus.
No really! He was all like...normal, and stuff! Until I wasn't paying attention...
...Well, what did he do then.
He said I need to see Satan after school tomorrow.
Why do I even bother hanging out with this idiot?

 

At an alley...
Free used spoons! Get yer free used spoons here. Ugggh...
Hmm....I am interested in buying one of the free used spoons that you are selling to people like me.
Here you go. Now GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YA BASTARD! BWAHHHH!!!
HOLY CRAP! THIS GUY'S INSANE!
Ahh...Free spoon salesman that chases customers away...My kind of business.

 

Hello fine sir or ma'am. I can restore your color for a small price of...
Hmm...Sounds good. Go on.
YOUR SOUL! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
My soul, eh?...Hmm...Okay! ...Wait a minute, don't I, like...need that or something?
Well in the economy of today, no...I mean, with the internet and all.
Deal! I'd be a sucker not to sell my soul!

 

So, what do you think of that Dave Mirra game that's coming out, Dave Mirra XXX?
Huh?
Dave Mirra XXX. It's an M rated Dave Mirra game with nudity, toilet humor, uncensored language.
What the? How come everything needs to be mature these days? They never turn out good anyway.
Heh, yeah. I bet soon they will do the same with Tetris....(Oops, what have I done?!)
HOLD THAT THOUGHT, I'M GOING TO GET MY MACHETE.

 

Hey Dex...How come you never let go of that coffee cup? I've never seen it leave your hand.
Hmm...You're right! I'll put it down right now.
*Grunt grunt*..Ugh..
...Well, that's odd. At least I can uncross my arms...*Grunt*...Dammit.
...Oh my god! My hand is glued to the cup somehow!

 

Remember, Jake can only see the back of the guy.
Hey there, honey. Are those pants from Mars? 'Cause baby, your ass is out of this world.
I want to take you to the place where things go bump in the night. My bed.
HOLY FRIED CRAP ON A STICK!!!
Oooh baby, you turn me on.

 

That's right folks, Jake was flirting with a gay guy he thought was a woman.
I'm...I'm...sorry, I didn't know you were a man.
Nonsense. I am just dripping with masculine beauty.
Aaaagh! I gotta get out of here!
OH GOD, TAKE ME WITH YOU, YOU SEXY MAN!
Sorry if this comic offended you.
HELP ME!!
Wait! Are you leaving me?! Come back, my sweet!

 

...
COME BACK! I still love you!!
No way, am I going to your sick twisted house/dumpster.
Come to my place.
...Is that supposed to be sweetening the deal?
I have all the Julia Roberts movies on DVD!

 

...I'm Jake.
Hehe...I'm Brian.
Let me assure you, there is no way that we can be involved in a sexual relationship...If I want sex, I would need women.
Oh, so your one of THEM..*Grumble*
Alright, if you stop freakin' SMILING at me like that, maybe we can be friends...or aquantances...
I can't help it.

 

Hello everybody. I'm Mr. Bob. I'm the critic guy you'll sometimes see in this comic. I review things.
For my first review, I'll be reviewing the comic, Penny Arcade. It's funny sometimes, But to be honest, other times it's just dumb. I mean, I don't get most of it.
And what's with the excessive language?...GOD DAMMIT! THIS SUCKS ASS!
YOU FOOL!! HOW CAN YOU HATE PENNY ARCADE!?! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

 

This is supposedly Jake's house.
Brian, I was wrong about you...
How so?
I thought you were just some weirdo creep homosexual pervert. But you turned out to be pretty cool.
Yeah, well...
Though, I could be wrong...
DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL DO ME NOW?!?!

 

Hey everyone! It's been a while. I bet you are all wondering where Dex is...Well...he's not here...because...he sucks.
Anyway, it's been over ten comics, and no sign of Kate!...So, here she is!
Hi everyone. I'm Kate.
... That was different.
Bah! Get the hell a way from me, Ugga, you creep! ...Uh...Hi everyone.

 

Time for a GameFAQs experiment. Combine a RIer...
w007! 1 4r3 ub3r 1337! 101 5up3r ch3353!11!
With an LUEer... and a Couch...er...
I MASTURBATE! I'M HORNY! THERE IS NO GOD! GIVE ME SEX!
Dude, my day sucked...
And you get... THE RANDOM UNIVERSE COUCH BED! DUH DUH DUH NUH NUH! SHIGGITY NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH!
w007! my m45turb471ng d4y sux0r3d!

 

Alright, due to the undeniable suckage of The Gaming Alley, that will never continue again. Each of my comics from now on will be random.
Hey, you wanna piece of gum?
Sure!
HAHAHAHA!! That was joke gum!
Huh?
MENTOS: THE FRESHMAKER
You'll now become a freak of nature
OMG LOLOLOL U FUNY

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