All comics by PsychoMantis

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by PsychoMantis
1-16-04
The square root of three times the hypotensus is equal to X times...
This class sucks...
...Y is perpendicular to the linear path that is two thirds AB squared...
What the...
...So if you measure the vaginal circumference you'll see that AB and XY are parellel...
Who the hell are you?
I'm the Ghost of Math! Here to help you with your math! WooOoOOo

 

by PsychoMantis
1-16-04
Great...
...
...
So....I like math. How about you?

 

by PsychoMantis
1-16-04
How about you go the fuck away?
HSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

 

by PsychoMantis
1-16-04
OH GOD! MY FACE! AHHHHHHH!!! *Gurgle*
So thats how you solve numers thirty seven through thirty nine-
ALEX! Pay attention in class! Class, tonights homework is pages...

 

by PsychoMantis
1-17-04
I finally updated my virus software yesterday. Ends up I had more viruses on my computer than actual files. I guess that means some files were infected more than once. I wonder how that works...
Inside my computer...
Yo, homey. This be Trojan turf, dawg. Dont be steppin' bringin' yer shit in here! Word! Bust a cap, foo.
Yo, yer trippin' homes, you think you got da mad skills, dawg. You just a poser. We da real gansta's, biatch.
Trojanside! What? What? What? Steppin'. What? Foo.
Wormside! What? What? What? Foo. What? Bust a cap.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-18-04
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
With that his first books were hailed as masterpieces. The media said Dr Suess was a genius.
*Wild Applause*
But little did they know, that it was just the beginning of his descent into madness.
Dr Suess! Could I get your autograph?
Suess and autograph dont rhyme. Your wobbleganger must be broken.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-18-04
It all started when little Suess was still in Catholic school.
Father McArthy, why do bad things happen to good people?
Because you touch yourself at night!!
From that day on, Suess never touched himself again.
*cries*
I love my job.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-18-04
Years of repressing his nature has slowly driven him into insanity.
Hello sir, what can I get you today?
Go dog go! Thing one! Thing two! Dugong! Wakka turtle!
Is he hitting on me?

 

by PsychoMantis
1-18-04
Finally, he snapped.
Rainbow colored masturbation fun!!!
Police are seeking the man known as 'Dr. Suess'. In three days of furious masturbation he has caused over $200,000 in damages, and hospitalized four people.
Ew, gross.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-18-04
He had to be stopped.
Freeze Suess! Hands behind your back, you're going to prison.
I am not a little slut. I will not take it in the butt.
I wont go to jail SamIAm. I dont like green eggs and man-ham.
Shoot to kill!

 

by PsychoMantis
1-21-04
Solid Snake silently picks his way across the room, expertly evading the eyes of the roaming sentries...
Ok. now to just carefully plant the C4 on this guards back...
?? !! ??
Oh no, I've been seen!
Just a box.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-21-04
Next up, American Idol!
30 minutes later.
TV.....good....FOX...good.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-22-04
So as you can see from my chart, productivity is up 31 perc-
Boss! I got those movies you wanted from the video store. Debby Does Dallas, Anal Acrobatics. They didnt have Space Orgy, so I got Jiggly Kitten 4 instea-Ah, fuck, I'm fired.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-24-04
Son, theres something I have to tell you...You're adopted.
NOOOO!!!
Hahahha, I was just kidding!
Oh, thank god-
I actually just beat your parents to death with a dead squirrel I found and stole you to sell into slavery. *whew* You shoulda seen the look on your face.
-

 

by PsychoMantis
1-24-04
This is terrible. My father...isnt really my father. My parents, beaten to death by a dead animal. Now I am to be sold into slavery...
Not even to mention the fact that I got crabs from that 5 goldpiece hooker.
Why didnt someone tell me shaving wouldnt help?! WHHYY?!

 

by PsychoMantis
1-24-04
Ok, hold it right there, you.
!
I am Frothy McKraken, bounty hunter extraordinaire, and now I've caught you Gornob the Troll!
I'm clearly not a troll.
Oh yeah, then how do explain the hair? Huh, trollface?
Uhg.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-24-04
Enough talk! You go dead now!
Like a deadly wasp, dripping with deadly poison, flying a deadly path of death, a blowdart sails through the air, hitting Jeff with much deadliness.
Ow, that stings...kinda.
What was that, some kind of tranquilizer dart? Cherry flavored?
Im not sure, I bought them off some street vendor goldpiece a dozen. I think they're suppoosed to be assorted flavors.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-25-04
Hey, do you wanna come over and make snickerdoodles with me?
Sure! I'll be right over!
Did you bring the supplies?
Yeap! Vacuum, baby oil, umbrella, toilet plunger, industrial strength drilling laser, banana's, and three purple-colored squirt guns filled with tabasco. You wanna go first, or should I?

 

by PsychoMantis
1-25-04
Hey, do you wanna come over and make snickerdoodles with me?
Sure! I'll be right over!
I cant wait, snicker my doodle RIGHT HERE!
Good thing I wore protection.

 

by PsychoMantis
1-25-04
Ok, this has been fun, but now you really need to get the hell out of my way now.
No way, troll scum! You will die by my hand, cut into small-
Punt.
Whoosh!!
Wow, I've heard about flying squirrels, but thats ridiculous!
One more bad joke like that and your banned from the Angel Lounge. I'm serious, Phil, dont test me.

 

by PsychoMantis
2-03-04
Good, the tavern is just ahead. I could use a drink. Ah, so many good times I've had at the Drunken Dragon.
Alright bub, ye've had enough to drink for one night, time to go home.
Youu cant tell me what ta do! I'll take you on, Grenold! All three of you! Where's my war elephant?

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