All comics by RyanMac10

Profile

 

by RyanMac10
4-16-01
I enjoy making people I care alot about cry because I'm super cool like that.
But don't worry, I'm even cooler when I force them to do things they don't want to do.
As much as I hate my father, I am just like him.

 

by RyanMac10
4-16-01
Due to my belief that I am totally dumped it appears that some changes are about to come.
How So?
Well, basically I plan on punching walls a lot and doing heavy amounts of crying
That's how a real man handles things
You make me sick.
I make myself sick.

 

by RyanMac10
4-16-01
So today I . . .
I don't wanna hear it.
Quoting Minor Threat are we?
No I'm breaking up with you.
So lonely.

 

by RyanMac10
4-18-01
I love you!
Never talk to me again.

 

by RyanMac10
4-23-01
You make me feel all funny . . .
awww
. . . like when my cock bleeds and I realize what's going on.
Wow. That's an interesting analogy. I'm glad talking to me is painful.

 

by RyanMac10
4-24-01
All the creepy cosplay people who have sites I visit regularly were at that damn convention I went to but I missed seeing them.
Damn you.
I know, I could have called them dumb sluts in person and Alyssa would have laughed as they mercilessly beat me senseless.

 

by RyanMac10
4-25-01
So I once spent an entire summer playing a video game because I wanted to have sex with one of the characters.
Why?
Because I was so deprived of human contact I went crazy and thought it was a good idea.
So who was it?
Lilith Aenslan.
Will you please excuse me? I have to run away very fast.

 

by RyanMac10
4-26-01
Sorry I wasn't around earlier, I was out drinking with your mom.
Bah, she's been passed out drunk upstairs all day and anyway we all know you were totally off masturbating to Helenas image.
I wish . . .
I do the same thing but I substitute Helena for orange juice and Dr. Pepper.
Wait. that's a very lecherous thing to do.
If they're inanimate they don't care.

 

by RyanMac10
4-27-01
chown -r us /yourbase
No, excuse me.
chown -R us /yourbase
If you'll excuse me I have some paint that needs drinking

 

by RyanMac10
4-27-01
So what have you been up to?
Well . . . I've been cheating on you.
What !?!?
Yeah, I did it six times.
Your realize that masturbating doesn't count, right?
Damn.

 

by RyanMac10
5-14-01
Use your imagination, it's the start of a fun phone conversation.
Are you still busy?
Yeah, just like earlier today.
Or don't and try to figure out why Evil Bears are everywhere.
Do you want me to just stop calling?
Nah, if you did that I'd forget about you inside a week.
After this exchange the conversation promptly ended.
You'd forget about me that quick?
Yes.

 

by RyanMac10
5-16-01
So are you busy?
Yes, just like all the other days now go away!
You know I've been feeling really shitty lately and all I've wanted to do is talk to you.
And?
You don't care at all, do you?
Nope.

 

by RyanMac10
5-22-01
So I learned another horrible thing about my mom today, she uses heavy flow tampons.
How did you find this out?
They were all over the bathroom when I went in earlier.
What do you mean all over? Like, used all over?
As in the box was out in plain sight.
Oh, okay . . . I think it's pus.

 

by RyanMac10
5-23-01
Fucking Netplex was full so I couldn't get my game on, very upsetting.
That's why Vic should hurry up with our ser ver.
Oh yeah so much like our website only we will go there.
Huh? No, I know other people to hand the IP to, I'm a superstar at Netplex
Well I'm a superstar down at the cracker factory, at least I was until they fired me for getting divorced. But now I sleep in a race car, do you?
No I don't. but I also know that you don't either and that you're actually passing Kirk Van Houten's life as your own.

 

by RyanMac10
1-21-02
I'm in love with an alternative girl.
I thought you were still obsessed with you ex?
So did I but ever since she told me to go away I said "HEY SELF MAKE WITH THE SEX!"
So you just want some skank on your wang?
Surprisingly no.
Kudos.

 

by RyanMac10
1-21-02
So do you often get creepy older guys bothering you like I am?
I usually dont get guys in general but whatever.
Why so whatever?
I don't care that much.
Well this is obviously another poor decision I've made, I cannot say I'm surprised.
You'll get over it.

 

by RyanMac10
1-21-02
Talkin' 'bout John Lucas
I was in his house once with Frank and Dan Gold so they spent the whole time trying to get into Marias room to sniff her panties.
Ha ha.
They got back into there another time and stole one of her thongs which makes the panty collection include hers and Matt Lipperts moms granny panties.
Wow, what?!
The granny panties had a blood stain.
They got Matt Lipperts moms when we forced our way into matts house because I was hungry.
Wow, I'm so impressed.

 

by RyanMac10
1-22-02
Doug knows what to expect when we hang out, it's not like I was doing "hey hot momma way to give me an errection" tonight.
Those nights are when I get really bad and usually provoke confrontation with said hot mommas.
They're not really hot, that's why it's funny.
Stop talking.

 

by RyanMac10
1-22-02
In 7th grade I had steel toe boots and got into the habit of punting glass bottles to see them explode . . .
. . . and I kicked one in the direction of a group of people and managed to get glass inside their pockets.
And?
(cry)
I'd rather be sleeping.

 

by RyanMac10
1-22-02
Nothing makes me sadder than realizing the only thing I enjoy is masturbation.
Who doesnt though?
Are you into crying afterwards too?
Of course.
We're totally crying twins, you've gone up a notch in my book.
Yes!

 

by RyanMac10
1-22-02
Are we in a militant christain death metal band yet?
What?
Think of it, we wear black, we go to church, when they talk about damnation of the sinners we stand up and go "YEAH!!!"
. . .
When we play shows we tell them all they're going to burn in the lake of fire. It'll be the greatest thing we can EVER hope to do EVER.
No.

 

by RyanMac10
1-22-02
My the internet is terrible again.
You're saying that as if it ever isn't terrible.
It usually allows me to view websites with the ease and to play Team Fortress.
You confuse me with someone who DOESN'T have hobgoblins in his anus.
What are you talking about?
I repeat, you confuse me with someone who DOESN'T have hobgoblins in his anus.

 

by RyanMac10
1-22-02
EVERYDAY I GET MORE PISSEDSLIT MY WRIST,SLIT MY WRIST!!!
I HATE TO CARE,I HATE RELATIONSA PILE STACKED HIGH OF COMPLICATIONS
EVERYDAY I GET MORE PISSEDSLIT MY WRIST,SLIT MY WRIST!!!

 

by RyanMac10
1-23-02
Note to self: learn to detect sarcasm in females.
Note to self: learn to stop talking to females.

 

by RyanMac10
1-23-02
My plan was to use the hanging out to lure you to 7-11 for payment of the Spazz cd.
That's not happeneing.
I curse you and your ability to destroy my poorly constructed plots.
Die.
Crap I've doubly screwed up this time, I stick to straight up kidnapping from here on out.
I repeat, die.

 

by RyanMac10
1-23-02
Keep me up 'till I retire and while I could be out bar hopping meat market, rocker-chick shopping . . .
. . . out there chasing my dick in it's never-ending search for chicks.
Girls make me cry so easily.
BUT I'D RATHER BE SLEEPING!!!

 

by RyanMac10
1-23-02
So what are the odds of my procuring the slurpee this weekend? Nil?
Hmm i dunno . . .
What if I were to wear my "I fuck marines" shirt?
That'd be a good idea . . .
I curse you and my inability to detect when you're using sarcasm. You're totally throwing off all conventional knowledge of sarcasm I have.
Sorry . . .

 

by RyanMac10
1-23-02
Ryan sends the wrong person a link to a strip and midsentence realizes what he sent.
I don't get it.
You're so not mark . . . FUCKING CUNT BITCH CUNT WHORE!!!
wait a second
RYAN WANTS JEN!
(cry)

 

by RyanMac10
1-23-02
You want Jen so bad!
. . .
Well?
I have no idea of the meanings of these words you seem to be speaking.
HA!
Another failed save.

 

by RyanMac10
1-24-02
I can't not put my foot in my mouth when we chat.
. . .
Crap.

 

by RyanMac10
1-24-02
So if you had to let dan get some or get raped by a tree what would you pick? And not just any tree, an evil tree from the first Evil Dead.
It's a simple question: sex with Dan or tree rape?
Dan, of course.
But trees are made of wood and give splinters; and speaking as someone who has had splinters in a sexual organ I must say it's a fun experience.

 

by RyanMac10
1-24-02
Why I can't tell you how many times I've fallen asleep with a dogs knot in my ass and a horse wang down my throat.
Uuh huh.
That's totally the sound I make when they're fucking me.
Really? That's so cute.
Well you have to be cute when fucking animals, they don't fuck non-cute. It's kinda like how you enjoy it when I blow a load in your eye rather than your mouth.
Yep.....

 

by RyanMac10
1-26-02
TRUE
????
TILL
NO!!!
DEATH!!!

 

by RyanMac10
1-29-02
I miss you!
We're NEVER getting back together!

 

by RyanMac10
1-31-02
I've decided I don't want to have sex with you, just give me some panties so I can jack off.
I've got needs . . . hook a brother up!
That's the greatest use of that phrase I've ever heard!
So I'll be getting some panties?
No.

 

by RyanMac10
2-01-02
Punk rock girl please look at me.
Punk rock girl what do you see?
Let's travel 'round the world, just you and me punk rock girl.

 

by RyanMac10
2-01-02
I had a very large crush on you at one point.
(sigh)
Why can't I ever learn these things when girls ARE interested in me?

 

by RyanMac10
2-01-02
Well, fuck you. You never spoke to me.
Punk Rock Girl I have the uncanny ability to make females afraid of me when I talk to them, I didn't want you in that category.
It's not a hate thing, it's a DEAR GOD I'M RETARDED thing.
But so am I.
rock!

 

by RyanMac10
2-01-02
My favorite was when I used to have tourrettes syndrome.
I didn't have the cool cursing version, I just made noises, it made fourth grade rad beyond belief.
You're interesting.

 

by RyanMac10
2-01-02
To read and drink coffee and be anti social.
To read Tolkien and drink water and be anti social.
Shit, we're gonna get married.
yay!

 

by RyanMac10
2-06-02
If my car weren't a giant vibrator I'd come up tonight to see you.
I'm only working until 7:30, then I have plans.
I'm just gonna pry my foot out of my mouth now if you don't mind.
What are you talking about? You make me laugh super lots.
I'll take super lots as a victory of sorts.
Indeed.

 

by RyanMac10
2-28-02
Let's hear it for repression!
You know it. God damn you and your articulation.
Agreed, if I couldn't move I couldn't get myself into another relationship where I have no idea what I'm doing.
True enough.
Equally enough, if you were dead you wouldn't have to worry about anything at all.

 

by RyanMac10
2-28-02
GOSH! You just have to be difficult!
Pff, if you go out with me you have to hear about Black Flag and Rickenbacker all the time. It's not fun.
And you have to hear me ramble about EVERYTHING!
I'd only be able to see you months at a time until I'm in Indiana, you could easily get bored. If you can rock long distance I have no more objections.
I CAN ROCK IT!
Then we'll be a hot couple.

 

by RyanMac10
3-19-02
Hello is Becca there?
This is Becca.
Hi Becca this is Ryan and I just wanted to let you know that I want to do you hard.
. . .
And then I hung up on her.

 

by RyanMac10
3-19-02
I've been listening to this damn song on a loop since 7:52 tonight when I downloaded it.
I'm going to have to put on Hot for Teacher to wash the taste of Kylie Minogue out of my eyes.
(cry) I can't help myself, I'm still rocking it and loving it (cry) it has powers over me.
It's frightening to no end.

 

by RyanMac10
3-19-02
I JUST CAN'T GET THIS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD BOY IT'S MORE THAN I THINK YOU THINK ABOUT!
It's more than I think you think about doesn't even make sense.
I'll never get over this song, it's going to be the death of me. Just give it 10 listens in a row, then you'll be in the cool kids club.
If I go insane because you told me to do this, I don't know what I'll do.
If I'm not listening to Can't Get You Out of My Head then I'm not wanting to listen to anything.
(cry)

 

by RyanMac10
3-19-02
Dear god I'm still rocking the song! (cry)
I have it playing still but it's not growing on me in any way.
You're not rocking hard enough then, not nearly hard enough.
Set me free, Ryan.
Only because there's a dark secret in me, don't leave me left in your heart!

 

by RyanMac10
3-27-02
If I weren't having such a good day I might let that bother me, so BITCH BETTER NOT STEP TO THIS!
o man
I have to go back to Hillsdale area all this week, I'll be all WAY TO BE A CRAZY BITCH if she crosses my path. If she gives me any guff . . .
. . . I'll punch her in the teeth and throat and teeth and throat and teeth and throat and teeth and be all THAT'S FOR TAKING DICK!
o man

 

by RyanMac10
5-24-02
dear jen, stop breaking boys hearts, also my throat has the consistancy of duct tape, not fun. - ryan
............
?!

 

by RyanMac10
5-24-02
She says she's small but will blow your mind.
JESUS CHRIST! She likes going to the mall!
Fat bitches love the mall.
I bet she likes eaing the mall.
Can I work out in your basement tomorrow?
NO!

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