All comics by Snuts

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by Snuts
3-23-07
Bob!
What Pedro?
The Black Sheep IS a club no matter how you look at it!
It's not! I hate that word! The bikers won't like it!
Well...you look pretty hard-ass biker-like for our club which is not a club then!
Grrr! How come I can never win with you?

 

by Snuts
3-23-07
Hey, do you ride with the Black Sheep?
Err, aah, nope!
O, how come?
I think I'm the wrong colour.
Yeah, me too. I guess we're just stuck being Shithawks!
I sure wish I was black.

 

by Snuts
3-23-07
Hey you liitle piece of shit! I said a double-double Tim Horton's coffee!
No, you said double cream, one sugar.
What! You got shit in your ears you little fuck!
O, ok. I'll get you another one.
Be fucking quick about it and quit crying like a little schoolgirl at her first rock concert!
You Black Sheep are not nice sometimes you know!

 

by Snuts
3-23-07
O, there once was a man from Nantuckett!...
O here we go again. A little lizard spit and you turn into Shakespeare!
Let's give us some tonight dear!
Not bloody likely!
But love...I feel really big for you right now!
I am too tired from working on Pete's cross-stitch!

 

by Snuts
3-23-07
Bah-ah!
Meh-eh!
Hey! You ride with the Black Sheep?
Nope!
Do ya think maybe we're from the wrong side of the fence?
Yeah, probably. I think we're just sheep of a different colour.

 

by Snuts
3-23-07
Hey Pedro!
Bob!
No matter how you look at it the Black Sheep are still a club.
Grrr! I hate that word club! The bikers don't like it! We're NOT a club!
Well that's funny 'cause everything about YOU says hard-ass biker...you know...your tattoos, cutoff t-shirts, Harley gear and especially 'cause we're not a club and all.
Arg! I can never win with you eh!?!

 

by Snuts
3-23-07
Hey Hans!
Helo Pete. How are you doing?
I have been taking some new pills today.
I thought so Lederhosen 'cause your hair is really starting to sprout like a camel's tail!
O, no, no, not for the hair. I had some very hot vindaloo today and my stomach is upset.
O, sorry. The best thing for that is drinking 3 canteens full of yak milk. Nonetheless, you still look good to me Hans!

 

by Snuts
3-23-07
...and so Amish I got the turkey baster out because I have this big hard poop problem sometimes.
Vat do you do vis der turkey baster Doctor Fill?
I put some warm Mazola Oil in it and lube up the hershey highway to help me pass a stool with less difficulty and pain.
Ach you crazy doctor! You should eat more strudel undt drink more Louwenbrau!
Looks to me like der pulsating poopster has gone for a schitt ya?
Go milk a cow or something! Mitten der schitt or mittout der schitt I am still going to take out your daughter!

 

by Snuts
3-23-07
Ok Derwood. I'm citing you for a TWOT infraction. That's a talking without thinking ticket. We like to call it a twot! Hehe...a twot for a twit!
Err, aah, I understand 'cause I are priddy smart.
Next time Dagwood, try not to be so twotless! Haha! Take some linguistics classes.
Hay wate a minut! I are a manajment person you no!
People cownt on me to do stuff and I ride a Harley too!
Ok Dingelbert...I would like you to report to our precinct within 24 hours and show us your newly purchased descriptionary.

 

by Snuts
10-15-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
I feel like crap today!
Ya, you do look a little lousy!
No! I mean I feel like having some crap today!
That's what we ate yesterday!

 

by Snuts
10-15-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
Have you met Debbie yet?
I saw her at the beetle ball last week.
So what did you think of her?
She's got way too much crap on her face!

 

by Snuts
10-15-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
I'm real tired of taking crap from that dung beetle bully, Bob!
You know there's a law against taking dung balls from other dung beetles!
No! I meant his verbal diarrhea!
Ya, he's forever talking crap, eh!?

 

by Snuts
10-16-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
What are ya doing today?
Aw, I gotta clean some crap up around the house.
But your house is made of crap!
I know but the toilet backed up and I got crap all over the place!

 

by Snuts
10-16-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
Did you see Debbie again?
Ya, but she wasn't feeling good today because had some crap stuck to her butt!
Probably from sitting on that crappy furniture you got!
Everything we own is made from crap though!

 

by Snuts
10-16-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
Did you see Debbie again?
Ya, but I don't know if I'm gonna keep dating her because her breath always smells like crap!
So then what?
I've been thinking about dating some click beetles instead of dung beetles.

 

by Snuts
10-16-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
I got some crap stuck in my eye!
What happened?
I gave Donna a kiss last night!
Man she's got crappy hygeine eh?

 

by Snuts
10-16-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
CRAPPP!
Christmas sucks!
Same crappy gifts each year! Santa is full of crap!

 

by Snuts
10-16-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
I thought the food at that diner last night was CRAPTACULAR!
CRAPTASTIC!
A veritable kaleidoscope of crap from all over the globe!
A potpourri of poop! A feast of fecal proportions! A cornucopia of ka-ka! A staggering selection of shit...

 

by Snuts
10-16-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
I really enjoyed the science center with you yesterday!
Me too! I picked up some crapographical maps of the area.
Ya, the crapography here is craptacular!
Lets go paint some crapscapes...

 

by Snuts
10-16-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
What do you think of that CRAP music all those black dung beetle kids are playing today?
Its called RAP music not CRAP music!
RAP is CRAP! I still like the BEETLES! Let's go eat some CRAPS for breakfast.
Its BEATLES not BEETLES and its CREPES not CRAPS! Geez...

 

by Snuts
10-19-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
No shit!
Crap!
Wanted to build an additon to the house but there's no good crap around.
No shit!?

 

by Snuts
10-19-09
Hey Doug!
Dan!
Debbie and I got shit-faced last night!
What? You guys went out drinking and dancing again?
Nope! We got to messing around a little and you know what dung beetle french kissing ends up looking like!
That's why I'm dating click beetle Cathy although her incessant clicking drives me up a wall!

 

by Snuts
10-23-09
MAN, you're getting real crappy reception on your tv, Doug!
Ya, Dan...I haven't been real happy with the satellite dish so far. Crappy stations and crappy programs!
Maybe there's some crap obstructing your dish!?
Could be and we've been having real crap weather as well.
Wait a minute! I got it! You have to clean the crap off of your tv screen once in a while Doug!
...Shit!

 

by Snuts
10-23-09
Man I hate going shopping with Doug!
I wonder why Dan is always following me so close!
I'm forever smelling crap from his butt!
Maybe Dan likes the way I look and smell!
Why can't I ever be in front?!
I know what you're thinking Dan and...NO!

 

by Snuts
10-23-09
I hate this annual prostrate exam Doc!
And just how do you think I feel about it Doug!?
Well...did ya find anything unusual Doc?
Nope! Same old crap as last year!
So I'm good for another year then?
Yep but I wish you dung beetles would start eating some different crap for once!

 

by Snuts
10-23-09
The crapmeister!
The crap man! The crapatollah!
Crapaholic! The king of crap! The casino crapshooter!
The crapster! The craptacular, crapatonic, crapnabbing catnapper!
Catnapper? Okaaayyy. How's it going anyway, Doug?
Like crap as usual, Dan!

 

God told me to tell you that He wants YOU to give me your 10% tithe and He will give you health, wealth and prosperity!
Umm...okay pastor. I tried to find the 10% tithe in the New Testament and I couldn't locate it but I trust you so I'll do it anyway. I feel so blessed already.
by Snuts, 4-06-11

 

I've learned never to fry bacon in the nude.
by Snuts, 3-04-12

 

by Snuts, 3-04-12

 

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