All comics by SunSon

Profile

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Omigawd! You're looking at gay pornography!
Actually, I'm setting up a website to SELL gay pornography.
That's disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Shame can be erased at $5.99 per minute.
$23.96 later...
Are you sure my parents won't see this?
Just drop the boxers, bitch.

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Hey! Nice porn site!
Hey! Nice porn site!
Hey! Haven't I seen you some place before?

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
That can't be comfortable
Can you really do that with a spatula?
I thought he was straight.
I thought you were smarter than that.
Why did we have to watch this at the elementary school?
Better connection speed.

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Chuck, this porn thing is really starting to interfere with my super-hero career.
Here's your first paycheck.
So, how much do you get paid to be a super-hero?
I'm going to go fight evil now.
You do that.

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Excuse me. I'm looking for evil to fight. Seen any?
Thy garb is strange, David.
Dad!! You're not supposed to know who I am! What are you doing in the city, anyway?
Looking for thy mother.
I fear Rumspringa has changed him.

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Hi. I'm Dave. I grew up on an Amish farm. But I'm on Rumspringa, the Rite of Pasage that allows me to go into the modern world.
I travelled around the world and studied superheroing, and became known throughout City, Inc. as...
Darkboy!! Defender of the Night!

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Darkboy vanquished a horde of aliens this afternoon. Here's Betty Drake with a report.
Aliens landed on the top of the City Building and threateningly pointed ray guns at City residents. Darkboy swooped in & though the aliens put up a fight, our hero Darkboy was easily victorious.
It was hot.
In other news... a new porn site is sweeping the nation...

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
One year ago...
David, it is time for your Rumspringa, the Rite of Passage where you journey into the modern world.
Um... sure, Dad.
11 months ago...
Ah, have you come to train as a super-hero?
Actually, I just got lost, but whatever.
8 months, 27 days, 21 hours ago...
Now you will defend the innocent in the darkest night!
Uh... okay.

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
In the city of City, Inc.
Hi, I'm Chuck. Are you here about the room for rent?
Yeah, I need a place to stay while I become a super-hero.
Whatever. As long as you've got a job.
I'm a super-hero.
Rent's $800 a month and you pay for cable. Come on in.
I hope he doesn't have some kinky underground lair.

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Our intrepid cast...
I'm Dave. AKA Darkboy. Amish superhero and internet porn star.
I'm Chuck. Entrepreneur and roommate.
I'm Penny. I'm Darkboy's public relations coordinator. Chuck and I are the only one's who know Darkboy's secret identity.
I'm Dostoevsky. Chuck's best friend.
I'm Jules. Penny's my best friend, and I have a crush on her friend Dave.
I'm Kurt. Chuck's accountant. My identical twin brother Durt is Chuck's lawyer.

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Hi Dave. So, I wanted to talk to you about your new porn career.
What about it?
Well, since you did that thing with the mask, some people are saying that Darkboy is a porn star.
It's not the same mask, Penny. It was rubber.
Just be careful, Dave.
It had a zipper.

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Hi Dave! How's it hanging?
What the hell is that supposed to mean!?!
I was just trying to speak hip-hop.
...
Call me!
Why is there never any evil around when you need it?

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
How's the porn site coming?
That's supposed to be funny?

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
One night in geosynchronous orbit above City, Inc.
Of all the damn luck. I've been abucted by aliens.
Where the hell did you come from?!
Never mind. I am Sub-Commander Homtronipod. You must fulfill your destiny.
Can I keep you in my pocket?
Destiny!! Human Infidel!

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Hey Kurt, have you seen Dostoevsky?
numbers... only numbers...
What's up, Durt. Have you seen Dos?
I can neither confirm nor deny his whereabouts.
I appreciate the money you spend on my site, Jules, but Dos is missing.
He's probably... looking... spatula...

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
More of our cast... Amish...
Hi, Darkboy here. Here's some other people that show up occasionally... or at least once.
I am Jebediah, David's father. I don't know my son anymore.
Teachers...
Ah, I am Grand Master Zook-Zook. I train super-heroes on a mountain... just west of Denver.
My name is Oboe. I teach elementary school. I'm Chuck's brother.
and Bad Guys -
Bow before Sub-Commander Homtronipod, leader of the Psychic Friends Fleet! Earthling fools!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!
You do not know my name. You do not see me... Yet.

 

by SunSon
10-06-04
Can I please take a break, Chuck? I really need to go fight evil!
I need you to do something for me first.
I already told you. The mechanical bull is a terrible idea.
Dostoevsky's gone missing. I can't find him anywhere.
I'm on it.
I thought you said it was a terrible idea.

 

by SunSon
10-07-04
Still in Chuck's Porn Lab...
Um, excuse me... have you seen Dostoevsky Jones?
Gee, I don't think I know the answer to that. Is that him right behind you?
Where?
Stupid Human Infidel.

 

by SunSon
10-08-04
With a zap from the telelportation gun, our hero is suddenly whisked away to the alien mother ship -
What the--?!?
Darkboy? What are you doing here?
Dostoevsky Jones?
Yeah, that's me.
I'm here to rescue you.
Bullshit. You got zapped in here same as me. You suck.

 

by SunSon
10-08-04
On the Psychic Friends Fleet Mother Ship...
Ahh... Darkboy. So glad you could join us! I am Sub-Commander Homtronipod. You've come for the human Dostoevsky Jones?
Wha--?
Go ahead. Take him. We've finished our probes.
Um... yeah. Well. We'll just go then.
psst... where's the door?
Suck.

 

by SunSon
10-08-04
Do not worry, feeble human. We will transport you and Mr. Jones back to the surface of your planet.
Thanks! I, uh... I don't have cash for a tip.
Stupid human.
Hey, I rescued Dostoevsky
Thanks! I, uh... I don't have cash for a tip. There's some donuts on the table.

 

by SunSon
10-16-04
At the elementary school...
So, one could definitely say that Philosophy of Language had definitely reached the Bauhaus. Any questions?
Mr. Oboe, my crayon tastes funny.
Dave, what are you doing here?
I was wondering if maybe we could go out.
Um... I'm trying to teach class, Dave.
But we're the same height.

 

by SunSon
10-16-04
So, how did it go with Oboe?
We're going for coffee tomorrow.
I didn't know he was gay.
He's only recently. He said he recently realized that he was attracted to me.
Probably from when we all watched your porn site.
I really should stick to fighting evil.

 

by SunSon
10-24-04
On Dave and Oboe's date...
I'm glad you wanted to go out with me, Oboe.
Well, to be honest, I'm a big fan of pornography.
Can we go get coffee now?

 

by SunSon
12-03-04
On Dave and Oboe's REALLY LONG date...
This has been a really great evening, Oboe.
Yeah, we should go out again.
It's kind of weird though, with your brother being my porn king.
Well, I don't mind really. At least I know you'll be good in bed.
Um... well, I have to go fight evil now.

 

by SunSon
12-03-04
It's OK
Congratulations, Unseen Boy! You have accomplished your first task... the UTTER DESTRUCTION OF OKLAHOMA CITY!
No problem. Why did you pick Oklahoma City, though?
They were annoying me. Have you seen the asses on the people at Golden Corral?
THAT'S why it smells like bacon. So what is my next mission?
Isn't it obvious??? You must KILL DARKBOY!!!
Can we go to IHOP first?

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