A(n) (un)triumphant return! by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY9-29-03 ............................ Listen, you fuck. I know you're gay. MY DEAR FRIENDS X-MAS IS A TIME OF SHARING GOOD WILL AND BROKEN CONDOMS. SHAAAAAEERR11111111 Stephen King spoke to me. I was fapping yesterday and my nipple fell off. I was fapping to Pet Cemetery, fuck yeah Lun! Lun! Veddy fahst! OMG MAH REGS CANNOT MOVE PLOPELY JOO GOOK!1
FIZZIGHT CLUB by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY9-29-03 FIRST RULE ABOUT FIGHT CLUB: DOnn"T GIVE FELLATIO ON THE TARP OUR LANDLORD SETS OUT THELE ISH NU TARP VEDDY FAHST, FOR ZHEE WANG ISH LAHLLRGe. SECOND RULE ABOUT RUSH LIMB--FIGHT clUB: BOMBING THE PRESIDENT'S HOUSE WILL ANGER THE TRAILER PARK RESIDENTS THAT IS SO CLICHE, DAMN AGGH FUCK THE SUN, FUCK IT! FUCK THE CLINTON HOUSEHOLD, TOO THIRD RULE ABOUT FIGHT CLUB: THERE IS NO FIGHT CLUB
Satan's Folly by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY9-29-03 SATAN MAKES A DEAL SO, IN YOUR PACKAGE YOU OFFER BASIC CABLE AND AN ILLEGAL FILTER TO EXPANDED CABLE AND THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL'S INCEST CORNER? Uhh..yes. Satan realizes the folly in his plans OH GAWD SHE HAZ A TWIN WHERE IS ZEE LICE AND THUS, THE WORLD OF GAMING DESTROYS NEVIN'S HOUSE, FRIENDS, WORLD, AND LIFE. GAMES: GAMES ARE FOR FOOLS LeftistLeftistLeftist
Death Awaits You! by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY9-29-03 Hi. Um..hi? You've noticed now that I'm naked from the waist down. This won't end well. Notice anything odd? A missing appendage? An extra one? A dying bear cub inserted in a comprimising and what appears to be infected orifice?
Ozzy Invades by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY9-30-03 Sweet Jesus! It's the king of biting innocent rodents' heads off! Buy the shirts. They're made of crack cocaine. Wait, why are you in my room?
Satan Trips by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY9-30-03 I'M TELLING YOU, JESUS. THIS MATRIX SHIT IS SOME CRAZY SHIT. .. IT'S JUST LIKE SPEED, MAN. SPEED AND CRANK. SPEED AND CRANK MIXED WITH A BACARDI. A BACRARDI WITH RUM. UNZIP YOUR PANTS TO EXPERIENCE TRUE ENLIGHTENMENT! Jesus isn't home today.
The Real Satan by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY10-02-03 Thursday, October 2nd, 7:42 PM, Hell, AK. Contrary to popular belief, the vacuous demon you've seen in Haugen-san's previous comics was NOT Satan. Hey, kids! It's me, Jesus! So, you know. Stay away from drugs.. uhh.. don't impregnate ocelots until they're legal.. Hey, kids! It's me, Jesus!
Limbaugh Redux by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY10-02-03 Limbaugh goes out for a burger. You fucking suck at chess. Sir, this is a restaurant, and I was not HIRED to take your CONSTANT HARASSMENT. It's funny how EVERY DAY you come in saying the SAME GOD DAMNED THING. Limbaugh goes for a stroll. You fucking suck at policing. They pay me in ecstasy. Limbaugh stays up past curfew. You fucking suck at Microsoft. OH HO HO!
Arnie's Field Day by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY10-08-03 Arnold Schwarzenegger is interviewed after his recent victory. How very profound! I choked on a pretzel once myself. Oh, and Laurie says we can see Harry Potter later. Wanna come? Wednesday shall be zee groping dayee! Back in Austria.. "Many people in the world - and in America - now know where Styria is."
Nevin: A Day in the Life by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY10-09-03 Hey, it's recent in-for-a-week-out-forever pop culture icon, Nevin! Nevin..! Oh God, Nevin! I'm too high to perform tonight! Well, I have to kill myself due to this. Drugs support America. Wow! Suicide isn't the American way! Fuck you. I always end up doing this in my comics. And what the fuck do you know, you pot head?
This is not begging for a lawsuit by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY11-07-03 PolyvinylEllip (1:56:14 PM): FUN ON THE RITZ Ryan, make a new comic. Not only a mother, an enforcer of negro rights and anti-marijuana, though it does nothing Ryan, make a new comic. Here's your new comic, fucking sailor Yes, I know you can see his crotch. Stop bitching There is "none" under the "none" subgroup!!!! *Suck suck*
TEH MATRICKS by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY11-07-03 I found these pills on the playground the other day. Take one. But not the red one. It's mine. *Takes the red one and drinks it.* AHH WTF YOUR MIRROR SI GAY!!! Yeah, that's what happens when you eat the red one. WOW THE MATRICKS IS AWESOME
TEH MATRICKS PART TO by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY11-07-03 Neo finds Nevin's mom shopping in the Matrix's K-Mart. But in the Matrix, K-Mart is Target. WTF ..I know kung fu. That's lovely. PolyvinylEllip (2:01:36 PM): CAPSLOCK MKES ME HIHG LET ME TAKE YOUR SHOPPING BAGS SO THE AGENTS DONT CONFISCATE YOU Lynn hops on the bandwagon Hello, this is Morpheus. I seem to have lost my car keys. Did I by chance leave them in your family room? Oh well. *Suck Suck*
TEH MATRICKS PART THRE by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY11-08-03 Teh Matricks lost another Nevin.. Breaking news: Eqypt Bans 'God' From Theatres Why the fuck are you here? I banned you and black listed you for raiding my cupboard of all the Gardetos. Why the fuck is 'God' banned? My newspaper is full of Nazis. They disagreed with me. That still doesn't explain why the fuck you're-- wait. We're out of aerosol, okay? He was always my favorite actor. TEH MATRICKS HAS U Yeah, it has you up the ass.
TEH MATRICKS PART FOR by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY11-08-03 Welcome to the Matrox, Mr. Haugen. Pretty fucking amazing, isn't it? Matrox? What the hell? Yeah, the Wachowskis stopped selling narcotics, so the budget's pretty low. The Matrix: Gratuitousness well redeem them both, though. That's because it is. It smells like hemp in here.
TEH MATRICKS PART FAIV: TEH BATTUL 4 ZION by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY11-08-03 BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM BADOOM That was pretty fucking pointless. Wait, what happened? I saw some squids. I know I did.
Ston'd by THELEFTISTCONSPIRACY12-14-03 Just tell them you got stoned. They'll understand. Hm.. I'm gonna go advertise capitalism. Hey. I got stoned. Awesome. Nevin Heroin. I'm pretending this beer bottle is your wrinkly phallus.