All comics by Tahbay

 

by Tahbay
8-28-11
Hey Bill.....I've been thinking.....
My name's not Bill.
Oh, sorry.....is it Stan?
Who the fuck are you?
.....So Carl, like I was saying.....
Fuck my life.

 

by Tahbay
8-28-11
I bet you've never heard of my favourite band.....or my favourite movie.....they are really really "indie".
Basically, I'm really "indie"
Your fuckin' skinny jeans are lame.

 

by Tahbay
8-28-11
Hey Big J.....What's up with the outfit.....it's not even casual day?
Payback is a motherfucker Bill.....
Hey boss.....Not trying to play office politics..... but.....Since when does Big J get to wear casual clothes on a Tuesday?

 

by Tahbay
8-28-11
Uhhh yeah, so I kind of have to quit,,,,,I mean lighting the candles and ringing the bells was cool and all but.....I have to quit.
.....The constant boners just creep me out.

 

by Tahbay
8-28-11
Yeah, basically I've been flossin' and poppin' bottles all night.....bitches, bitches, bitches lovin' me my bitches.....you feel me playah?
Still living in your mom's basement Karl?

 

by Tahbay
8-30-11
Big J.....Looking sharp.
They will all feel my pain.....
Right back at ya J Man. Anyways I was hoping you could do me a "solid" and slap on a tie or throw a jacket over top of that Blood Stained, make shift, revenge, commando uniform you got going on there?
Good talk J.....clear up that sore throat, unless you were intentionally growling at me. Next time let's talk about that growing stack of Soldier of Fortune magazines you have on your desk.....

 

by Tahbay
8-30-11
Wow.....What a huge day, the boss actually listened to me and had a talk with Big J about his inappropriate attire - I really have an eye for insubordinate work behaviour.....
Holy Christ! Big J just hijacked the lunch room.....By the way, what is chloroform?
Not now Jenny, can't you see that I'm moving up the corporate ladder.....
Soon I'll get promoted to Jesus.....Then I'll buy a convertible.....

 

by Tahbay
8-30-11
Hey boss man.....Now that I'm your right hand man, I was thinking we could have some scotch and talk about corporate strategy and stuff.....You know how we can be more pro active and get traction.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Big J has hijacked the lunch room and is threatening to waterboard staff with juice boxes..... and you want to talk about "strategy"?
He will respect me even more if I form a committee.

 

by Tahbay
8-30-11
So.....looks like the big cheese wants me to form a committee regarding important corporate stuff....Want to be a member? You know buy low, sell high......keep your stick on the ice, protocol.....
What the fuck does that mean?
It's true.....With power comes envy.....I need to buy a power tie.

 

by Tahbay
8-30-11
Hey boss.....Now that I am Head of committees, I was wondering what the ol' corporate policy is for me expensing a gym membership, and getting some motivational posters for my work space?
....Can someone please bring a mop and some night vision goggles to the lunch room.....I repeat, a mop and night vision goggles.....
My first stand off with the boss.....I saw this on The Apprentice.....He is probably threatened by my meteor like rise.....I need a nick name.....

 

by Tahbay
8-30-11
Hey Tom....."Rocket Man" here. Yah, that's what they're calling me.....good ol' "Rocket man".....Guess it's 'cause of my fast rise to the top.....I mean I'm only guessing.....
.....You like committees Tom?????

 

by Tahbay
8-30-11
Hey fucked up Carl.....I hear you are part of some risque, grass roots "committee".....Now that I'm a corporate big wig, I need to expand my cultural proximity.....can I join?
.......................Later that night..............................
Wow, fucked up Carl, already I feel more worldly.....I'll have to get the name of this "committee" for my resume.
You should probably tell the guys that I go by "Rocket Man".....

 

by Tahbay
8-30-11
".....Arrggghhhhh, where did he get a hand sander from????"
Hey Bill....."Rocket Man" here.....Anyways, did you hear about this Big J thing going on?
It's all over CNN.....and I can hear the periodic screams from the lunch room.....so Yeah......Fuck Yeah.
OK.....Well I've taken on some new responsibilities around here and I think we need to up the security measures and I mean pronto.....So, "Rocket Man" is calling the shots now.....
Later that Day........................
I think we will all sleep better tonight.....

 

by Tahbay
4-27-13
So.....big boss man.....Been a while since you've seen good ol' Rocket Man.....Hope my fast lane rise to the top hasn't got you worried about your job security.
I always thought you were the janitor.....Besides Big J has just put Louise from payroll in the staff cafeteria's deep fryer and he is chanting Gaelic death rituals.
Well if I was in charge you can bet that I'd be making sure that Big J wasn't doing any of this during work hours, or else the Rocket Man would be docking his pay.....I play hard ball.
Are you legally retarded?
Looks like Big J's antics are frustrating the boss.....This could mean downsizing. No way anyone is taking away my position as Comittee big wig.

 

by Tahbay
4-27-13
Ok Rocket Man is on the scene.Time to roll up my sleeves and show the Corporate Brass how to deal with Big J. I am more than just traction and synergy and keeping my stick on the ice......
Big J.....Rocket Man here. I can look past you putting half of the back office in the deep fryer because they were a cost centre. However, Rocket Man has to give a big No No to the wardrobe violation.
Snort, snort.....The tears of Satan will litter your soul.....Snort, snort.
Aloha Boss man. Before taking action against Big J, I want to make sure I have crossed the t's and dotted the I's.....So do we have any videos for senior mgt/committee heads on internal conflict?

 

by Tahbay
4-27-13
Now that Big J has gone rogue, CNN will be here - Their first impression will surely be- This place doesn't take their dress code seriously. I must find a tie. A bold one.
Chen. Good to see you are keeping up staff morale by wearing a tie. don't let Big J persuade you with his deep fryer and taser. Anyways, do you have a red tie? CNN is coming..
Did I mention that in Grade school I had a Chinese babysitter.....

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