All comics by TheWilliamsDefence

 

Arnold + Palmer = Money by TheWilliamsDefence 6-15-03
Ryan's first day at the law firm So basically Ryan, when the economy is good theres a lot of money to be made, mergers, accusitions, big deals etc etc U-huh	and when the economy's bad theres still a lot of work, bankcrupcy litigation, dispute resolution and the like...a lot of money I see	Sometimes when i wake up my mouth hurts from all the smiling. So what your saying is that lawyers are pretty much immune to market forces?

 

Soapy Toes by TheWilliamsDefence 6-15-03
Ryan gets to know his mentor Phil So anyway the Davies case, well I was in the bath yesterday night and suddenly remembered Richards v Collins from an old contract class, negates the whole thing...I told Davies to abandon the action Great! You must of saved the old man a whole lot of money and trouble.	Oh yeah BIG time....I only charged for admin and expenses like the thinking I did in the bath You charged him for just thinking about the case?	Of course, dont you? I try not to think about what I do.

 

Films Lie by TheWilliamsDefence 6-15-03
Ryan does a bit of Pro Bono work Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I believe that the Defendant is a victim of circumstance, a poor indictment of modern society rather then an example of evil. Disassociated from the world that has failed him time and time again throughout his life, the defendant has developed a irrational understanding of external reality.	I am not trying to detract from the seriousness of his crimes... but i submit for the aforementioned reasons the defendant should be entitled the defence of diminished responsibility	This was easier when they kept that mask on you... LECTOR LIED, THEY TASTED OF PORK NOT CHICKEN!

 

A Plan by TheWilliamsDefence 6-15-03
Ryan levels with his client. Brian the case isn't going well, that detectives testimony was damaging and you really must stop smiling at the victim's families	But your white? WHY DONT YOU PLAY THE RACE CARD?	ok... YEAH, BUT I NEVER DISCRIMINATED BETWEEN MY VICTIMS RACES

 

A plan 2 by TheWilliamsDefence 6-15-03
Ryan continues to level... So you want me to argue that because you ate people of every different race you should... ...BE SEEN IN A MORE PREFERABE LIGHT.	I'm not sure it will play well with the Jury. PERRY MASON WOULD OF ARGUED IT.	He's not real. THATS WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID ABOUT THE VOICES I HEAR BUT THEY STILL CONVINCED ME TO DO THINGS.

 

Sometimes I See David Trimble (the plan 3) by TheWilliamsDefence 6-15-03
Ryan discusses the case with Brian 'Thirty Chews' Davidson I'm going to change our plea and argue that your criminally insane, you won't go to prison but will have to be detained in a special hospital. WILL I GET TO DO THOSE RORSCHOCH TESTS? I DO LOVE THEM!	I suppose so, I cant stand them myself. WHY?	All I see in them is this big claustrophobic dampness...filled with dishonour and dishonesty crushing my spirit from within like a dove being smashed by a hammer.. WIERD, I USUALLY SEE BUTTERFLIES!

 

You Look Wonderful 2NITE. (plan 4) by TheWilliamsDefence 6-15-03
Ryan is in crisis. I'm not sure I can square defending you with my conscience. I THINK YOU NEED A HUG.	I mean your a pyschopathic, cold, cannabalistic killer. I've never met anyone else like that let alone tried to help them! I'm not even allowed to stand any closer to you than this! I THINK YOU NEED A HUG.	Thats not going to work you know. I'VE GOT SOME SWEETS IN MY POCKET.

 

The World Must End (part 1) by TheWilliamsDefence 6-21-03
2005, Nuclear War, Mass Fallout, World Quakes... Great! Now us Cockroaches as the only species to survive will rule the Planet! Wahooo, ROACHES RULE!	But problems start to develop in this brave new world... Thats my pile of Dung!! I collected it yesterday! Yeah but from MY patch! Its mine!	The second species to survive makes his appearance... Hi, I'm Phil Vickery and I'm a lawyer. I believe you have a dispute with your neighbour? ??

 

The World Must End (part 2) by TheWilliamsDefence 6-21-03
In a post-apocalyptic world only cockroaches and lawyers survive to forge a new society... I think your case falls squarely within the Le Coqu precedent, you possess a profit de pendre over your neighbours land. Its a very winnable case... Yes but..	...I'm not sure any of that means anything now. I mean theres no judges, no courts, not even books! They dont exist anymore.	Mmmm, quite. Well... I've got a hammer in my bag, I could just go and squish your rival? Wow! You people can adapt!

 

The World Must End (part 3) by TheWilliamsDefence 6-21-03
Phil tackles his first case since THE bomb. Hi, I'm Phil Vickery, Lawyer. I'm here to squish you with a hammer. Are you sure this is due process?	I've been told none of that matters anymore. Its quite liberating... So whats he paying you? Theres no money anymore you know!	Mmmm. Thats another good point. I guess I'll just have to set myself up as ruler of the Planet. I mean I'm six foot tall and in possession of a hammer. bugger.

 

The World Must End (part 4) by TheWilliamsDefence 6-21-03
Lawyer Phil Vickery is now Overlord of a post-apocalyptic Earth by using his 'Hammer of Justice'.	Sometimes I get bored by the lack of human interaction...	but then I just squish another roach.

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