All comics by WhitePawn

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by WhitePawn
10-26-09
Look Marcus a whole new comic.
It's still just us being mostly unfunny.
Maybe this is a good time to explain that WhitePawn is a reference to Through The Looking Glass.
What happened to the old comic anyway?
Password problems.
I guess that's kind of funny.

 

by WhitePawn
10-26-09
I did warn you that you don't have any more funny ideas.
Are you still a nun?
When did we last have sex?
And she says I'm not funny.
You're really not.
You can read my thoughts? O' wait it's a comic.

 

by WhitePawn
10-26-09
Where are you going?
To find the funny and I won't find it here with you.
But I'm the only joke this comic has.

 

by WhitePawn
10-26-09
no not funny
What's up doc?
Skippy is a glove puppet operated by a homeless black guy? I guess that's kind of funny.
Mostly just surreal but it does explain my inability to spell.

 

by WhitePawn
10-26-09
Hi Alice.
I feel silly talking to a glove puppet.
If only you knew what my other hand is doing.
Wanna make out?

 

by WhitePawn
10-26-09
Hi Alice.
I feel silly talking to a glove puppet.
If only you knew what my other hand is doing.
Wanna make out?

 

by WhitePawn
10-26-09
Ha Ha! You made that last comic twice.
That's better.
Ow you burnt my hand off you bitch!
It's pronounced Witch. Who are you anyway?

 

Hmm maybe if we made comics about something other than trying to be funny, we would actually be funny.
If I had action poses, I'd hit you with this broom.
by WhitePawn, 10-26-09

 

by WhitePawn
11-16-09
On Alice's way to work.
Fuck you, you racist! All you white people are racist, slave trading, pedophiles!
I only asked him to exuse me.
Thanks. Would you like a picture of a naked 10yr old girl?

 

by WhitePawn
11-16-09
I'm learning to drive.
That's scary! How are you going to change gear with no action poses?
You can't even fly that old broom of yours because you lack the relevant action pose.
O' stop hitting yourself.
Of course you do have full control of MY action poses.

 

by WhitePawn
5-21-10
This yogurt I'm eating is more cultured than you.
You're not eating a yogurt.
It's still more cultured than you.

 

by WhitePawn
12-10-12
This wasn't funny at the time.
I keep giving all my money to some guy with a bullshit story who asks me for it, so I can only pay you my half of the rent by borrowing off of my parents.
Plus I gave the beggar conman our address.
It's lucky I have this broom to sweep up your mess with.
So after getting the Police involved Ashleigh and I moved out to somewhere we could afford without Marcus and Marcus went home to live at his parents aged 34.
Goodbye Marcus.

 

by WhitePawn
12-10-12
So with Marcus gone you want me to be your new side-kick?
Um yes? I spend more time with you than with anyone else. I did the Maths.
But you know I hate you talking about me.
Never mind.
Luke is my little brother and also my boss. As I'm his Care Team Leader.
Luke you're my new side-kick.
Why am I the side-kick? I pay you remember.

 

by WhitePawn
12-10-12
Well I can't be the side-kick, it's my comic. Besides you are my LITTLE brother.
*sighs* Fine.
Yeah Marcus that stops being funny when you say it to someone in a wheelchair.
You're trying to replace me? You don't even have action poses.
And you don't have a brain.
FIN

 

by WhitePawn
12-10-12
So how does this work then?
Well I find it works best if we forget we're in a comic and try to act natural.
I would whistle, in a I'm acting natural way but I can't whistle.
I choose my side-kicks well.
Do you have to refer to me as your side-kick? It's not natural. You wouldn't do it in real life.
You reading my thought bubble is even less natural... you can't read!

 
by WhitePawn, 12-10-12

 

I don't know who you are but it's odd that we're the same height when I'm sitting in a chair.
by WhitePawn, 12-10-12

 

by WhitePawn
12-10-12
I could host tediouspath.
What are you talking to me for?
Who turned the light off?
I could host tediouspath.
Maybe if Alice asks nicely.
Just get on with it!
Natsy likes this

 

by WhitePawn
1-04-13
Summarise early in the meeting
Summarise early in the meeting
Then we can all fuck off down the pub.

 

by WhitePawn
1-04-13
I'm in Mourning.
Is that why you're wearing black?
I always wear black.
People die every day.
Like I care about "people".

 

Nope I'm going cold turkey.
Yes but why are you wearing it?
by WhitePawn, 1-04-13

 

by WhitePawn
1-07-17
You saw him here first Joel Brackenbury oh yeah and Alice.
So Joel, I hear you're famous now.
Yeah I'm still in shock.
Yeah it's a book store, I couldn't find a supermarket.
So what's next for the Defender of the Slovenly?
With great power comes great responsibility.
More likely just this shitty comic that nobody reads.
I guess I wait and see, maybe another radio appearance.

 

by WhitePawn
1-07-17
Donald Trump!? What the fuck are you doing in my comic?!
Can't you see, I'm building a wall to keep out them damn Mexicans!
No-one said he was good at Geography.
But this is England!
And when did you last see a Mexican?
Well in the spirit of ethnic cleansing!
Aaaagghhhh!!! Aren't we s'posed to burn you Witches? Ow this is really hot!

 

by WhitePawn
1-07-17
So it's been nearly 4 years. Can I be your side-kick again?
Are you going to go on and on about action poses?
Probably.
Welcome back Marcus.
Yay.

 

by WhitePawn
1-07-17
This is the perfect opportunity, if I can just find someone to photograph this man without trousers
and complain about him to the store online
then I can rush to his defense and maintain my fame.

 

by WhitePawn
1-07-17
Marcus, you know how I said you could be my side-kick again. Well I think I'm going to have to ditch you in favour of Joel because he's famous now.
Don't be ridiculous, I'm far too famous to be your side-kick.
Don't anger the Witch, minion!
Ha ha, you just got burnt! Oh bum.

 

by WhitePawn
3-31-20
You're magical, can't you do something about this pandemic?
I think I might've caused it.
You caused this?!
Well I didn't cast for a pandemic per se but I think it's proving useful for some of my spells.
It's at times like these I'm glad I'm not a Witch.
If he doesn't back the fuck up, I'm gonna burn him.

 

by WhitePawn
3-31-20
That looks fun but social distancing.

 

by WhitePawn
3-31-20
I see you finally found the funny again.
Yeah it only took thousands of people dying from Corona.
So now what do we do?
Remain indoors, of course.

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