All comics by Xal

Profile

 

by Xal
8-10-03
One day, Jesus was watching TV.
Ha ha ha! Oh, hip TV comedian Dennis Leary, you never fail to amuse!
I am SUCH a jackass!
Suddenly, the TV died.
DEAR GOD GNO!
To escape the fire, Jesus went to the ocean, where he met an exciting new friend.
Will you be my friend?
Raech 4 teh skiez, @$$hole!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
I enjoy the mountains, Witchfriend.
FUK U JESUS! GIVE ME A DOLLAR!
Villains lurk nearby!
We are bandits!
We shall steal from that witch!
KRA-KOW!
You have felt the wrath of Jesus, my friend!
Jesus is a deadly adversary to behold. I speak only the truth.

 

by Xal
8-10-03
We are flying to heaven. We shall meet my friend, Man Artist!
OMGWTFBBQ
It has been a long time, Man Artist!
HEY!
Three days later...
AND THEN I STOLE HIS LOIN CLOTH!
RIGHT ON!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
Name yourself, villain!
I am popular musician, Ghost of Weird Al Yankovich.
hi w3ird al will u autograph my br00m?
Not a problem! Anything for a fan!
Elsewhere...
The battle is over! The winner is: the Blitz Team!
How shocking!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
Hello, spankyc0wboy! What did you need to discuss with me late at night in the cemetary?
Nothing personal Jesus, but I've been hired to kill you. Any last requests?
Don't kill me!
Alright. Anything else?
Pretend you're a chicken!
Cluck cluck!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
At Emperor Figaro Sanchez's Palace:
I don't believe he killed my ugly lieutenant! You must destroy Jesus!
Yes, my lord.
He said "No dessert!"
Dagnabbit!
Back to our heroes...
hi u look hot want2 sexx0r?
No.

 

by Xal
8-10-03
Hello, Ghost of Weird Al Yankovich. What's up?
Hey, Jesus. Meet my archnemesis, Omnideus.
A pleasure to meet you, Omnideus!
Yo, Jesus! Meet my beautiful daughter Wendy!
Three weeks later...
That's it! We are officially broken up!
I never loved you anyway!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
Hey baby, ready to go?
Yes, deer.
They agree to eat at Jesus's Stylin Burger Joint.
Wendy! Man Artist, how could you?
Don't try to stop me! This is true love!
Six weeks later...
I said no! You may not marry him!
I hate you, Daddy! Waaah!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
omg windows xp is soooo kewl!!!!!
omg aol is teh roxx0r!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
You've got mail.
time 2 get a new patuter!!!!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
We have your friends, Jesus! If you ever want to see them again, you must defeat Emperor Sanchez in a duel!
Oh no! What would James Bond do?
My name is James Bond.
I love you! Now die!
FUJIKO IZ HOT.
What would Lupin do?

 

by Xal
8-10-03
Hooray for Jesus! You destroyed Sanchez's headquarters and saved us all!
It's not over yet, Jesus! You must face me!
FWAA!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
It's over, Sanchez!
Ha ha ha! My powers are immense!
Hey kids! Xal's feeling a little tired and has no idea what's going on!
The world shall tremble in fear!
Can anyone stop Jesus?

 

by Xal
8-10-03
happy b-day, jesus
ill kick ur fukkin @$$, gafag
Surprise! You've been transported to Hell!
do i smell "all-u-can-eat" buffet?!!!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
Hi, Man Artist.
Hey, Jesus! You ready for some high-flyin' adventures? Then you'll love my pal Ugluk.
Hi, Ugluk.
Hi, can you give me a hand with this?
Later that day...
What went wrong?
I'll never forgive you, Jesus! Never!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
Hello what are you reading?
A note from my wife.
Can I meet your wife?
No.
What is her name?
Shut up! I hate my wife!

 

by Xal
8-10-03
Hi, I'm spankyc0wboy's wife, Trixie!
Hi.
Hi, I'm Ugluk's wife, Monique!
Hi.
Jesus, you saved my marriage!
You're welcome.

 

by Xal
8-10-03
We'll race to the top of this hill!
Agreed!
Whee! I can fly!
We'll race to the top of this hill!
Shut up, Jesus.

 

by Xal
8-10-03
Same place tomorrow, Trixie?
Of course!
Man Artist! So you're the one!
Hey, don't interfere, man! This's true love you're messing with!
Later that night...
Hey, wanna go steady?
...

 

by Xal
8-10-03
I've organized a scavenger hunt. The first prize is something really great! Tell your friends.
Did you hear about the scavenger hunt, Ugluk?
What scavenger hunt? I know of no scavenger hunt!
Ugluk has escaped to outer space!
I shall win the scavenger hunt Jesus! Mark my words!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
The scavenger hunt is to begin when I say the secret word!
What is the secret word?
The secret word is ZING!
ZING!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
The first thing on the list was to find something very erotic.
But what is erotic?
Jesus shall save you, child.
Priests are very erotic!
Back at the secret laboratory...
Get in the box!
No.

 

by Xal
8-11-03
I will find something very erotic if it's the last thing I do!
Hey, Man Artist.
Victoly!
Elsewhere...
Hi can I use you for my scavenger hunt?
Yes.

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Jesus struggles to find something erotic.
Something erotic is nuking that little girl's home town!
Success!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Hey, Ugluk, did you find something?

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Jesus you have destroyed my village!
No I didn't.

 

by Xal
8-11-03
You are the only one to return. You have won the scavenger hunt!
Yay!
Wait!
Oh ho! I suppose the results are indecisive this year!
They glare at one another with aggressive intentions!
I shall not settle for this!
We are rivals forever!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Hello...Man Artist!
Jesus, let me tell you a story.
What is the story?
There once was a little girl who hated her parents. So she ran away to the circus, where she lived happily ever after. The end. Do you know what the moral of the story is?
No. What is it?
The moral is I won the scavenger hunt.

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Hey, so, what's my prize?
The only prize you need is the satisfaction of knowing you won.
You're fired!
You're fired!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
We are on vacation in a ski resort!
k
They become seperated!
I've discovered the yeti! Witchfriend, where are you?
Surprise!
It wasn't the yeti! It was only Weird Al!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Emperor Sanchez! So you've returned!
From beyond the grave, that is!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
It's the end of the line, Witchfriend! You've got nowhere to run!
They are transported to a stand-up comedy stage!
HA HA HA HA HA!
So then I said "ain't no white man never talk like that!"

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Yes, caller?
Jesus, I'm going to sue you for sexual harassment!
Is this Weird Al?
No.
You lie!
I'll see you in court!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
The time has come to destroy Jesus!
Yes.
*FART!*
*FART!*

 

by Xal
8-11-03
The Melonator
Copotron 5X
Squawky Robinson
Siptung BaGung
Using these as your henchmen, Jesus shall fall!
It shall be done.

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Jesus! I thought you said you did not destroy my village!
My reasons are divine and beyond comprehension.
Goodbye, little girl, and never forget what you learned!
He has gone to a better place, just as fast as he arrived!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Jesus storms the castle of his enemies!
Halt, Jesus!
Why, if it isn't Copotron 5X!
We both knew it would come to this eventually!
Let's go get some curry rice!
Later at the restaurant...
Jesus, I'm dying!
Curry rice is deadly poison to officers of the law!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Jesus storms the castle of his enemies!
Your quest ends here, Jesus!
A battle ensues!
The battle is quite epic!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
The battle is quite epic in the bedroom!
Victoly!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Jesus storms the castle of his enemies!
SQUAWK! LET'S BE FRIENDS! SQUAAAWK!
Okay!
Oh no! It's the end of the world!
IT'S A GOOD THING JESUS WAS HERE TO STOP THE END OF THE WORLD! SQUAAAAWK!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
SQUAAAAWK! JESUS! YOU HAVE ONE MORE FOE TO FACE BEFORE YOU FIGHT YOUR FINAL OPPONENT! THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT! SQUAAAWK!
Nooooo!
Jesus! I am your last opponent! And I'm having a stomach ulcer!
Yay!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
So you made it this far!
You're going up in flames!
Jesus saves the day again!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
You are next up to defeat Jesus!
And my NAME is Steve.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
Here is our hero, Little Tyrone, speaking with his father.
Here's a list of things I want for my birthday.
Going to the store.
The list was rigged with bombs!

 

by Xal
8-11-03
His only father dead, Tyrone moved off to live in the slums.
Yo! I'm Tyrone! Word up in the treehouse, Home-Log?
Name's Jerrae. Ya'll best be not steppin' on MY blue suede shoes, if ya know what I mean!
Let's be friends!
Okay!
OOGA BOOGA WHERE DA WHITE WOMEN AT!
OOGA BOOGA WHERE DA WHITE WOMEN AT!

 

by Xal
8-12-03
Hello, Witchfriend.
hi im not h3re rite now l34\/e a message
Hi, is your refridgerator running?
No.

 

by Xal
8-12-03
Time to settle the score, Jesus!
I know.
BANG!
I have won the duel! I've decided we shall go to France!
Ouch.
In France...
Jesus, I never knew the White House was in France!
There is much you do not know.

 

by Xal
8-12-03
Ugluk! Do you work on this luxurious cruise ship?
No, Jesus. I'm hijacking it.
But why, Ugluk?
To fulfill my dreams and sail to the moon!
Later, on the moon...
This is the greatest party ever!
Now we set sail for the sun!

 

by Xal
8-12-03
We gonna fuck that cop up, right Jerrae?
Dont make me slap ya'll round Tyrone!
Fuck u! Im gonna cap yo @$$ w/ma' FINGER CANNON! SHA-BANG, BITCH!
TYRONE IM GONNA SMACK YOU WITH MY +6 UGLY STICK! YA'LL BE PUSHIN DAISIES FOR A WEEK!

 

by Xal
8-12-03
Witchfriend! Why are you in Omnideus's house?
quiet jesus im br34king+3nt3ring
WOOP WOOP! (this is the alarm going off)
We're in a burglary competition! There's the alarm! Cheese it, Witchfriend!
I was not breaking in!
Then help yourself! I have free cake!

 

by Xal
8-12-03
Yo! I'm Donnell! Dont make me bust out my little smokeys on your ass cracker!
Bitch I grew up on "the streets" in "my house" on "16th avenue", if ya'll be knowin what i mean!
Oh I know whatcha mean!

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