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You don't want to read these.

Seriously.

 

Introductions abound. by Ying 3-06-02
I am Ying. This is my strip. I'm Geoff, his long-time best friend. I have a really stupid graphic as Ying couldn't find a decent one for me.	I'm Christo, Ying's short-time best friend and probably long lost twin. I AM DEATH	I'm Travis. VIDEO GAMES! Actually, the Grim Reaper guy's name is really Will. And yes, I am so important, I get to show up in an intro strip twice.

 

Intros for the less regular characters. by Ying 3-06-02
I'm Steve. Bolton. Jacon. No, those aren't my names. I just have an unhealthy obesession with those words. I'm Nate. I'm really stupid and am bent on killing Ying.	I'm Doug. I watch more mafia movies than you have pubic hairs. I'm Tanner. I'm a loser because I like rap, am short, and actually do work.	I'm Nick! I'm loud, annoying, and am a plauge upon Ying's life! That's about it for characters for now. Rest of the guys will be intro'd as needed. Now, onto the strips.

 

The first real strip. I'll think of real titles soon. by Ying 3-06-02
Ying and Co. are gathered around their usual Caf table... What the hell? I thought there were supposed to be 5 of us... Don't yell at me. This program thingy only allows 2 characters to a panel. And I'm not nearly talented or devoted enough to draw my own stuff.	And so they talk... DEATH. Why are we in a prison? I'd make a lame joke about equating school to prison, but....Nyeh.	And I finish with a completely unfunny strip... I get the sense this comic is gonna suck. DON'T PICK UP THE SOAP!!!

 

I still hate EQ. by Ying 3-06-02
A typical conversation between Will and Travis... EVERQUEST EVERQUEST EVERQUEST EVERQUEST EVERQUEST EVERQUEST EVERQUEST EVERQUEST	And I foolishly interrupt... Man, Everquest is stupid. YOU DARE DEFY HOLY EVERQUEST?!?! SIC HIM, WILL.	You don't really value your kidneys, do you? Then...... TIME TO DIE I just don't learn, do I?

 

Sadly, this happens more often than I'd like to admit. by Ying 3-06-02
Time to meet your maker, EQ HATER!!!! Hey, that rhymes. Wait, aren't I supposed to be fearing for my life?	The ensuing violence has been censored for all your virgin eyes... DIE DIE DIE

 

Ignore that last comic and stick its title onto this one. by Ying 3-06-02
After Ying accidentally saved his last comic while it was half-finished, he slapped himself on the forehead and tried it again... TIME TO MEET YOUR MAKER, EQ HATER! Hey, that rhymes. Wait, aren't I supposed to be fearing for my life?	The ensuing violence has been censored for your virgin eyes. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE Oh god! My kidney! My arm! My leg! My appendage that I didn't know I had!	Meanwhile, Christo plots deviously... Sweet. While Will's kicking the crap out of Ying, I can insult EQ all I want. EQ SUCKS. Damn. I'm too wussy to be able to hurt anyone.

 

Yes, this can go on for hours.... by Ying 3-07-02
Shut up. No.	Okay. Why?	I think you see the pattern... Shut up. No.

 

Geoff's Obsession: Part 1 by Ying 3-07-02
Whoa, that girl is so hot! I'd do her in a second... What? You wanna RAPE her?	What are you talking about? I just meant I'd kill to have sex with her... You sick bastard! You want to murder her, then fuck her dead body?	NOTE: Will ACTUALLY does this.... NO! I'm just saying she's a babe... YOU RAPE DEAD BABIES!?!? OH MY GOD! GUYS, YOU GOTTA HEAR THIS!!!

 

Geoff's Obsession: Part 2 by Ying 3-07-02
A minute later... Guys, Geoff just told me that he rapes dead babies. Sounds like him. I mean, he claims he can dunk full court, shoot lasers out of his eyes, and his boogers work as plastic explosives.	What a sicko. Oooh. Hot chick passing by.	Yeah, she's got a nice ass. Wonder how she looks naked?

 

Yeah, this is one of those "never happened" strips... by Ying 3-07-02
A slow X-period where no one has anything to do... Dammit, this is all boring and stuff. Don't worry. I can change all that.	Come here, lover boy... Why the hell am I in prison? And what's that...OH MY GOD! IT'S GOING FOR MY ANUS!!!	What's all that loud noise? I suddenly went blind for no reason. Trust me, you'd thank me if you could see. Hey, hot girl walking by. Too bad you can't see it.

 

Tanner swears to God. by Ying 3-07-02
Ha ha, you suck, Tanner. Ying, I swear to God...	You swear to God...what? I dunno. I just say that a lot to sound intimidating.	Oh, okay. Well then, um....I like cookies. Yeah. Cookies are good.

 

Tanner "gets jiggy wit' it." by Ying 3-07-02
I can only wonder when you'll realize that your rap sucks, Tanner. Rap doesn't suck! I can dance to it. Watch.	Oh, dear lord. This can't be good. Ooo...adopting the basic dance-masta stance....	To be continued... Gettin' down... Crotch-grabbing, break-dancing goodness!

 

You knew it wouldn't end pretty. by Ying 3-07-02
Is he still going? I dunno. I'm too lazy to turn around and check.	Turns out Tanner's still groovin' on... Uhn! Come on! Get down with tha beats!	And I use this to intro a new character... You jerks just can't appreciate the dance value of rap! I'm Trav. I've been hired by Ying to stop this god-awful crap...

 

Nate gets gypped: Part 1 by Ying 3-07-02
NOTE: Due to the limits of the templates, Nate is not shown in this panel. But pretend he's just 5 feet away. ...and you know how I was offering him 75 earlier? I was talking in cents... Really? Geez, I bet Nate would fall for that anyway.	So then guys, how much will you pay me to run around the MS halls? Hmmm....a dollar?	And so, Ying explains his diabolical plan to Will, Christo, and others... Hold on there a second....*whisper, whisper* Uh-huh...

 

Nate gets gypped: Part 2 by Ying 3-07-02
And the plan is in motion... Well then, I'll pay 5. I'll chip in 3.	I'll put in 2. Hell, I'll give you 10.	And Nate runs off to carry out his bet... You can expect 10 from me too. Really? Sweet! 30 dollars!!!!

 

Nate gets gypped: Part 3 by Ying 3-07-02
Phew...almost got caught. That was quite the show Nate. Now here's the 30 CENTS we owe you.	WHAT?!?!?! Did we ever mention it was going to be in dollars?	ARGH!!! I hate you guys! I'm so sad now... This has got to be the proudest moment of my life.

 

Nate get gypped: The Aftermath. by Ying 3-07-02
And we all recall the event 5 minutes later... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA	. . . . HA HA H - Oh wait, he's still here. Oh well. HA HA HA HA.	Yes, we're so nice to our "friends." HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 

GF: The intro. by Ying 3-07-02
I am Inthesto, your narrator. I am Madrox. And I am Haunter120.	I am sitting on a bench. I am not.	The other half of this bench is missing. I can turn around.

 

GF: Intros for the minor characters. by Ying 3-07-02
And here are the more minor characters... I'm Person. I'm really generic. I'm ChickenBoy, aka CB. Duh.	And I am Annihilator. I > j00 I get to appear again, because Inthesto doesn't have any more minor characters. I changed my clothes.	And as a surprise, here's FTW as the 4th minor character, just because he bitched at me and I felt guilty. Oh well. In response, I'll give him a funny graphic.

 

Intros, round 3. by Ying 3-07-02
I'm Miles. I try to be artistic and know martial arts, but I fail desparately at it. I'm Jamie. I'm the epitome of bum-ness. I look like a heroin addict.	I'm Tim. I live to get hit by Will and Ying. I'm Jackson. I'm big and strong, but about as smart as a brick, despite the fact that I'm in all Honors classes.	I'm Jacon. No further explanation needed. Okay, hopefully this will be the last time I have to do this. But it probably won't be.

 

GF: I don't have any decent ideas. Can you tell? by Ying 3-07-02
And now that all the characters have been introduced, they embark on a wonderous adventure... Hey, I'm not sitting on a bench anymore. Man, my graphic is lame. Why don't I get a bench? Floating around all day gets tiring.	*ahem* . . . Like I said, THEY ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON A WONDEROUS JOURNEY THAT WILL ATTRACT ATTENTION, GAIN THE STRIP POPULARITY, AND NOT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A FAILURE. My feet hurt. I wanna sit on the bench again. Why the hell did you make me this brain ghost thingy? And are you sure it doesn't come with a bench?	Okay, ENOUGH ABOUT THE FREAKING BENCHES!!! Hey, I got palette swaped. Benches > j00

 

Stop dying get yer arse back in here, dammit. by Ying 3-07-02
We discuss the condition of a friend... Hey, do you have any idea when the hell Miles is coming back to school? Bah. He's just using "being sick" as an excuse to skip school. Hey, who's that guy sitting behind you and listening in on our conversation?	Dammit guys, I DO FRICKIN' GO TO SCHOOL. Just in the basement, for 2 hours a day. Who the hell are you?	And so, the mystery was never solved... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm Miles, dammit. That's not possible. Miles doesn't go to school.

 

Anal violations abound. by Ying 3-07-02
Okay Madrox, you can have your damned bench back. Ha. I win. But don't capitalize my name. Dammit, I'm still this lame ghost thing.	I'll capitalize your name if I want to Madrox. And you're a ghost because "Haunter" is a ghost Pokemon. Dammit. I hate you. I'm DPL. This is my cameo. I'm probably gonna be bitching later about how it's a total rip-off.	Waitta minnut...aren't we supposed to be doing something exciting? Here, Madrox. I'll put you in a prison. Look! There's some soap! Why don't you pick it up? You know what? I think I will. Jerk.

 

GF: Madrox is gonna kill me. I know it. by Ying 3-07-02
One anal violation later... Ha ha. Madrox got raped up the ass. Hey guys, go easy on him. He's probably still sensitive about it.	Of course he's sensitive! That was his first time, and the tentacle didn't even use lube! Man, good thing I taped it. These things will sell like hot cakes on CE.	Meanwhile, in the anal surgery room... Well, at least I'm safe in this hospital room. Wait...this isn't a hospital... Hey honey, ready for round 2?

 

I said "burning cow death," dammit. by Ying 3-07-02
Come on, you know you said it... I did not! I said...	Meanwhile, in Hell... What the...? AHHH!!! IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!!	The audience just missed that joke, didn't they? Maybe they'll figure it out from the title.

 

GF: No, Madrox, you aren't. by Ying 3-07-02
How do fads start anyway? I'm the user that started this mess. I'll rate you. LOL!!! I'm a random n00b! I think that's cool! I'll imitate it!	Fads are stupid and annoying. What the hell. I'll rate too. Why not? Post, and I'll rate.	Yes, even the clever mocking variants get stupid after a while too. Post here and I WON'T rate you! Ha ha! Aren't I clever? [insert object here] > j00

 

GF: Haunter gets what he wanted. Sort of. by Ying 3-07-02
So, why has Haunter disappeared for the last few comics if he's supposed to be a main character? Let's find out... Oh yeah...that's just what I needed, baby. Geez, he's terrible in the sack!	After that round, I'll do anything for more of you... So then, how about a nice cup of coffee? It's just what I need to fuel myself for more of your hot man-flesh...	Maybe it's the fate of all the characters... So, do I get to see your hot natural alien form this time around? Humans get a bit boring after a while. Oh, you're getting something new alright.

 

My P.E. Class: Fantasy Version. by Ying 3-07-02
You are so damn going down in bowling, Jamie. Yeah right. Watch me waste you.	10 frames later... Check it out. Perfect 300. I rule. Oh....I only got a total of 3, and that was just because Matt J can't tell that I got gutterballs every time.	I admit my inferiority. Sweet. Here come the legions of hot chicks to worship me for my awesomely high bowling score.

 

My P.E. Class: Reality Version. by Ying 3-07-02
You are so going down in bowling, Jamie. Yeah right. Watch me waste you.	10 frames later... Holy shit. Un-fucking-believeable. I got a 50. Dammit, I only got a 61 myself...at least I did better than you.	And....no hot chicks. Damn. At least I don't look like a herion-addicted bum. Shut up.

 

GF: I'll have fun at your expense if I want to, dammit. by Ying 3-07-02
And so, Haunter joins Madrox in the anal hospital... Stupid freakin' Inthesto... Yeah. I can't sit on my bench because of that bastard.	Hey, when you're the main character of my comic, I get to torture for no apparent reason. What? That's stupid. I quit. Yeah, me too.	Actually, you can't. Even if you guys bitch at me on the boards, I can keep on putting you in here. Oh yeah. Crap. Ow.

 

THIS is what happens if you whine to me, Jackson. by Ying 3-07-02
Put me in a comic, damn it! No. You're lame.	I demand to be in a non-intro comic! No...hey, what's that behind you?	What? I don't see anything. . . . . . Too easy.

 

Non-sequitur > you by Ying 3-07-02
JACON! JACON!	NOTE: That random guy is Lee...he may re-occur too... JACON! JACON!	I don get it. Wanna play the question game? No.

 

Another one of Tanner's overused phrases... by Ying 3-07-02
...and that's why that band is greater than BOLTON. Amen...amen.	. . . . . What, is there something behind me?	Quit looking at me like I'm stupid, Steve. Didn't I do this before?

 

I -think- that's how it started... by Ying 3-07-02
After being friends with Geoff for a couple of years... I'm Geoff! I rule! I'm a genius! No, you don't. You suck. Shut up.	After Christo is friends with Geoff for a few months... I'm Geoff! I rule! I'm a genius! No, you don't. You suck. Shut up.	After a damned long time of insulting Geoff... Why does Geoff suck again? Who knows? Who cares? Geoff sucks.

 

Predictable, I know...but it had to be done. by Ying 3-07-02
I am Xsquader!I am so awesome.I can bench 300 lbs. I am so cool.Why does everyone think I'm patz?	I don't lie.You guys at CE should learn to believe me. I'm also great at basketball.My dad sends me $35 a week, and I'm not spoiled!	Dammit, you guys should respect me.I tell the truth. Xsquader

 

GF: That other one got screwed up in the last panel... by Ying 3-07-02
I am Xsquader!I am so awesome.I can bench 300 lbs. I am so cool.Why does everyone think I'm patz?	I don't lie.You guys at CE should learn to believe me. I'm also great at basketball.My dad sends me $35 a week, and I'm not spoiled!	Dammit, you guys should respect me.I tell the truth. Xsquader

 

GF: Madrox gets the better of the tentacle this time... by Ying 3-07-02
Hey Madrox, what's that behind you? Hee hee... Okay! Wait! Stop!	What do you think you're doing, Madrox? What? I'm just having some fun... I'm SICK AND ****ING TIRED OF BEING TENTACLED!!!! Besides, I've got a better plan...	Hey, FTW....what's that behind you? Where? I don't see anything...

 

GF: Recap. Sorta. by Ying 3-07-02
And now for a plot recap... My anus is still sore. Hi.	So...umm...stuff happened...Madrox got tentacled... Hey, the bench reversed on me. Damn alien tricked me. There was no hole in the tentacle for me to stick my wang.	So, since there is no plot to recap, we'll let damn posting limit get tentacled by his own request! Mmm...never had robots before... Shut up and get on with it...I don't have all day to get off.

 

Yes, that microphone IS talking. by Ying 3-07-02
Hey Will. What's up? I'LL KILL YOU.	I just asked you how you are... PREPARE FOR DEATH.	And while you're dying to see the off-screen violence, here's a public service announcement brought to you by JACON. JACON. Preach it, brotha.

 

Hey, it sounded funnier when we TALKED about it. by Ying 3-07-02
What if Will had the body of Jackson? GRAHHH!!! MUST KILL!!!! Holy shit. I'm outta here.	GRRRR...MUST KILL MORE. BLOODLUST IS NOT SATISFIED!!!!	Yeah...see that sizzling stuff? That's what's left of the Earth after 4 days of the hypothetical situation. Moral of the story? Hell, don't look at me.

 

Halftime at Hanover vs. Fall Mountain by Ying 3-08-02
NOTE: Baldy = Coach Ken Okay guys, we need to win tonight. We're only down by 3 and they're not as good as us. LET'S TAKE 'EM TO SCHOOL!!! But we're already in school.	GRRRRR!!!!! NOOO!!!! God, Ying! Perish, now!	Minutes after, Ying was brutally massacred... What? Not like I said something stupid.

 

Geoff 2: The arrival! by Ying 3-08-02
A new kid comes to school... Dude, have you seen the new kid? He looks just like Geoff. BS. I gotta see this for myself.	Holy crap. He looks just like Geoff. No, I don't.	You look like Geoff. You suck by association. My name's not Jimmy.

 

Hey, who needs originals? by Ying 3-08-02
And so, the news of a clone reached Geoff himself.. Dammit, this kid looks nothing like me. Yeah. We look nothing alike.	Dammit, this kid is stupid too! I'm nothing like him! My name's not Jimmy!	Hey, we're calling you Zack2 and him Geoff2 from now on. I hate you.

 

Last period P.E. has nothing to do with Jacon. by Ying 3-08-02
NOTE: Pretend there's a bowling ball hitting Alexander in the ankles. Damned templates. Alexander, watch out for that bowling ball I rolled HEADED RIGHT FOR YOUR ANKLES. Bolton. What? OWWW!!!! Who did that?	Umm...wasn't me. Blame Jacon. Argh! I'll never forgive you Jacon!	Meanwhile.... I didn't do anything. Anyone wanna play the question game? Yes. I lose. Now go away.

 

GF: It's starting to suck... by Ying 3-08-02
And so, after only 5 or so GF comics, I'm already out of ideas. What? Already? You suck. More toilet humor...MORE TOILET HUMOR.	Sorry, I'm not exactly sure what "toilet humor" means, Haunter. And there isn't a toilet graphic in this extremely limited template. Luckily, I don't need to crap at the moment. I'm a ghost. I never need to take a dump.	And so I end, completely unfunny... Quiet, ghost. And where'd my bench go? Hey, no tentacle.

 

GF: I make a lame attempt to start something... by Ying 3-08-02
Okay, okay...In a desparate attempt to save this strip, I'm sending you monkey asses on a mission to find CJayC. Why would we want to do that? Stalking him is for losers and n00bs. Besides, we can just look him up on the 'Net's White Pages.	Shut up. You didn't think of that. Yeah, but wouldn't looking him up on some service save us a lot of time? Lots of people have done it already. They all know where he lives, and even his phone number.	You realize no matter how uncooperative you are, I can just force you to do this anyway? Dammit. Foiled again. Why'd I agree to this? Well, it's better than being tentacled.

 

GF: Um...yeah. by Ying 3-08-02
Okay, so this is the part where you guys journey around, right? Umm...I guess so., but that's going to be diffucult since there's no way for us to move. I can turn around.	Umm...hey, look! The background changed! That means you're in a different place! That's just a cheap trick. You can easily change the background from frame to frame. Watch me turn.	Quiet Madrox. Maybe the readers won't figure it out. Ha. Yeah, whatever. 3y3 |2 1337 7|_||2|\|z0|2

 

GF: Just letting you guys know I haven't forgotten you... by Ying 3-08-02
Man, what a rip-off. I'm supposed to be a minor main character, yet I've only appeared in one strip prior to this one. I just got tentacled once.	I've only appeared in 2 strips, saying something > j00 every time. I've only appeared once too, dammit. And why do I have to have the shitty wigger graphic?	Being a minor character sucks. Agreed.

 

GF: Pity the enemy isn't more well drawn... by Ying 3-08-02
Hah! I am a random generic schoolgirl with a short skirt that reveals my panties! I block your path for no real reason!	Okay, looks like this schoolgirl's our first obstacle in finding CJayC. What the hell in the author smoking? I want some of it. Regardless, I think I know how we can get past this thing...	Hey, I don't smoke. . . Come on, let's here it... *whisper*

 

GF: You thought it was gonna be a tentacle, didn't you? by Ying 3-08-02
So, what do you think? Not a bad idea. Wish I thought of it myself.	Hah! Do you dare fight me! No....BUT I SUMMON THE UNHOLY OF DEMONS OF GAMEFAQS HELL TO FIGHT IN MY PLACE!!!!	And our valiant heros sneak by as Terran puts his redneck moves on the schoogirl... How's about some hot redneck lovin', baby? I can feel my panties dampening already.

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