All comics by Zetura_Dracos

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by Zetura_Dracos
7-05-04
Here we go...
Hi there. I'm Dracos. Due to technical difficulties we will not be having a first comic today. To demonstrate said dificulties, here is Cthulhu.
*Ahem*...
One Apocalypse Later...
BUGGER!
Tune in tommorow for a real comic!
Word.

 

by Zetura_Dracos
7-06-04
Dracos' Dorm Room: Any-College, USA
Well there it is. I've graduated from collegewith a major in film studies and am ready to go forth and make films which will be loved throughout the world. Now all I need is a way to get to Hollywood.
Oh my God! I'm very surprised! Who are you, small person?
I'm the plot fairy. All the exposition you had planned for today was too boring so I'm just going to send you to Hollywood and get the story going. Skada-ka-BAM!
This is some kind of bizarre etherial space. We are now traveling at almost the speed of light! Yes well over 500 miles per hour!
Nin xi huan gen wo tiao wu ma?
Eeeeeeeeeeee.

 

by Zetura_Dracos
7-07-04
Meanwhile in Downtown LA...
Hey, look at me! I'm Brad Pitt! I was in Fight Club you know. And The Mexican!
Bugger you, and your ruddy Fight Club!
Insanity is Everywhere...
Foom.
Ha, ha. Thats classic.
Its just that nobody notices anymore.
Woah! What? Hey, hold on, come back here!
Right, well I'm off. Thanks for that fren'!

 

by Zetura_Dracos
7-08-04
The Office of Thor Callahan; Los Angeles, CA.
I am Thor! Mighty Norse God of Thunder! I will...
Why are you in my office?
Next Time: The Mystery of the Missing Norse Diety.
I hate this town.

 

by Zetura_Dracos
7-10-04
The thing about Hollywood is that it, like history, repeats itself a lot.
Hey, look at me, I'm Brad Pitt's stunt double! I was in Fight Club you know. And The Mexican.
Screw you Brad Pitt's stunt double.
Its not that nobody notices.
Foom.
Ha, ha. Thats great.
Its just that nobody cares.
Woah. Deja-vu. Hey, come back here.
I thank you for that timely intervention.

 

by Zetura_Dracos
9-13-04
Meanwhile: In the Corporate Offices of the Super-Mega-Evil-Production-Company Production Company
Hey Earl.
Hey there Jimmy.
Hows things goin' with you?
Good, good. The Exposition Fairy just brought some new shmuck into town. Think I'm gonna grab 'im.
Yep. Yep. Crush 'em when they're still fresh. That what I always say. Bring him in to see Jack tommorrow, I think he's got an opening.
Poor bastard...

 

by Zetura_Dracos
9-14-04
Dracos has been mysteriously transported to LA by the nefarious Plot Fairy so that his artistic talents may be enslaved by the evil people of "Hollywood."
Okay so according to that sign, I'm Dracos and this is LA but who are you?
John McCain; Screenwriter.
Hey great! I'm a director, you interested in doing a script for me?
Sure, howe'er, I think I'll be goin' before those Evil People show up...
Well this isnt too bad...
Good day, we have something to discuss...

 

by Zetura_Dracos
9-15-04
Okay, Jack's office is on the 900th floor, he's waiting for you there... Dont look him in the eye, oh, and dont call him a souless evil-minded dinosaur in a cravat either.
Wait... Arent you a...
Dracos! Hey, my name is Jack Evil-Guy, I'll be your nemesis today but first, have I got an offer for you!
Don't say anything...
So heres my thinking... I've got a script that need directing, you need a job, but I'm not a gonna tell you about it or let you leave until you accept.
Dude! You're a friggin' dinos- I mean... Yes!

 

by Zetura_Dracos
9-15-04
In the Office of Jack Evil-Guy:
So heres the deal: I've secured the rights to make a movie based on the game Fallout 2. The script is crap, we've picked cast and crew, and you will have no creative control at all. Sound good?
Okay, sure, It's not like I have much of a choice right?
Great! Now I'm going to have an evil gun-toting Kangaroo take you to the apartment we've rented you and have you drive nails into your skull!
Woah! You're what?
A Moment Later:
Ow.
Was I supposed to actually let him do this to himself?

 

by Zetura_Dracos
9-16-04
Dracos' Apartment, A Short While Later...
*Witty Greeting*
Yes it is isn't it? Evil Dinosaurs bought it for me.
Really? I once sold a script to some evil Dinosaurs, they did a horrible re-write though and I ended up quiting.
Hmm... That sounds like them... What was it called?
Fallout 2.
SON OF A BITCH!

 

by Zetura_Dracos
9-21-04
INT, Dracos' Apartment (Night)
I have to get out of this job! But how?
You werent thinking of skipping town were you?
Huh? No! Of course not disembodied voice that is coming from my television which is obviously not a television but a device created by the dinosaurs to moniter my mind!
Good check your mail.
Mr. Dracos. Tommorow you are to begin shooting your film "Fallout 2." However we regret to inform you that your project has already gone over budget and your pay is being docked entirely. -Dinosaurs.
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!

 

by Zetura_Dracos
12-13-04
I've actually had a good number of people ask me lately how slasher films work...
Hello. I am the victim. I will now see the murderer and freak out.
I, as the killer, will now stare at you threateningly. (Usually from my own perspective)
To both appease and mock them at the same time I am posting this comic (with special guest PrimoOoze1138)...
The killer will usually then lunge at me. Not yet dead, I will now flee the house.
Ah, yes. I will now pursue you in a threatening manner into some woods
Furthermore I never want any of you who asked me how slasher films work to ever speak to me again.
At this point I will fall over something and be brutally murdered. If I am very lucky, I may somehow survive. If not, my mutilated corpse will be found later by another character.
I usually try to avoid the first option from happening, but it does ocassionaly. I will now return home and wait for another victim.

 

by Zetura_Dracos
2-13-05
Edward McKay's: A used book, record, and movie store in Greensboro.
Hey, check it out, a copy of the Pulp Fiction screenplay!
Hey, it would be funny if we bought that and remade the film without any action sequences.
Note: Neither Joseph nor I have seen Good Will Hunting in its entirety.
Ooo! A copy of the Good Will Hunting Screnplay!
Somehow I think that it would be funnier if we were to remake that instead.
This is not a pretty idea in retrospect.
No! No, no no no no! We should remake them both! But combine them at the same time! We can get together everyone we know to be involved, and I'll play Robin William's character!
Okay. We'll do it this summer then.

 

by Zetura_Dracos
7-09-05
Zetura Dracos and John MacCain (Screenwriter Extrodinaire) work into the night, searching for a solution.
What if we just went and killed the dinosaurs? But how? Where are they?
I've got it!
*On loan from The Amazing Screw on Head.
Mister Dog*! I need the location of Jack Evilguy the evil cravat wearing dinosaur!
Woof! Three blocks South of here and on the fifteth floor, good sir!
Where the hell did you get a talking dog?
Can you not read? Let us be making of the progress!

 

by Zetura_Dracos
2-01-06
Hark! A Question!
So, like, uh, if you and I were in a shot together. And...
And you, like, kicked me... And I, like, fell off a building...
Like, uh, uhm, what kind of, uh, of camera speed would we be using?

 

by Zetura_Dracos
2-01-06
A Theoretical Example of How the World Sees "The Group."
Just keep walking...
So. How is everyone this evening? Have you noticed I'm walking backwards again?
I am remarkably excited at that prospect. Also, I am next to Watson.
...and that is how I got turned white...
Hee-hee! OMG! Evan!
Dammit.

 

by Zetura_Dracos
2-01-06
Shut up about me being from New York, okay?
Heather, did you say anything about New York?
................Oh. Huh?
The writer doesn't know who I am.
Damn there are a lot of us.
Ditto.
So, where we going? Anything good at Wag tonight? What time is it? Can I have a dollar? Are we watching a movie tonight? What about? Bagels?

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