Check it Bleed by alabamamudflap5-12-13 What cha got there, Bleed? Looks like my kid failed out of college. Wasn't she a Women's Studies major? Yeah...
Check it Bleed by alabamamudflap5-12-13 You tried to show Coral your anus again, didn't you? Some things you just can't force. Watch me.
Check it Bleed by alabamamudflap5-12-13 Why so glum, Bleed? Operation Kickstart has hit a snag. Is that the one where you're trying to rejuvinate dead hookers? My Improvised Aggressive CPR techniques will revolutionize medicine. So... the sledgehammer was a failure? It went better than the hatchet.
Check it Bleed by alabamamudflap5-12-13 Coral is breaking up with me. Gee, that's cold. She couldn't do it in person? She did. This letter is from Gary. Apparently his pee still smells like potato chips.
Check it Bleed by alabamamudflap5-12-13 If fate is real, then there are no accidents... Are we still going to lunch? And if there are no accidents, then everything is done for a reason. I can wait. So that means I didn't flush on purpose.
Check it Bleed by alabamamudflap5-12-13 You've been acting awful strange lately, Bleed. Everything okay? Nothing I can't handle. You're passing blood again, aren't you? No. And that worries me.
Check it Bleed by alabamamudflap5-13-13 You don't always have to make the first move, Bleed. Women expect it. Not round-house kicks to the head, they don't. That's why they work so well. When are you going to realize that dating isn't a combat sport? When women start leaving their pepper spray at home.
Check it Bleed by alabamamudflap5-14-13 So then you ate it? There was no other choice. That's not a logical progression, Bleed. What do you mean? You find a sandwich, you eat it. Simple. But not egg salad. And not from the trunk of an abandoned car. I'll never understand your world.
Check it Bleed by alabamamudflap5-14-13 Uh-oh. What did Coral say? She said no. Apparently I'm too 'aggressive.' Whatever that means. You took the knife with you again, huh? Women sure are mysterious creatures.