All comics by alfs

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by alfs
12-18-03
This is Mike, as some of you who have read the comics by scooter4 may well know.
This is Colby, still big European... and gay?
This is Scott, I bet you wish you finished your damn strip now don't you? Bitch!
Crap!

 

by alfs
12-18-03
There are reasons I don't attend raves.
So there I was just me and three guys....
God damn why am I here.
and the four of us were just poundin' away like no ones business....
I bet Colby wishes he was here.
You don't happen to know a guy named Colby do you?
If anyone ever asks me why I hate my life can I give them your number?

 

by alfs
12-18-03
Knock knock.
Who's there?
KNOCK KNOCK!
Knock Knock who?
What the hell are you talking about?
God damnit Colby.

 

by alfs
12-18-03
So you're Colby's new girlfriend huh?
Thats right.
So......
So what?
You do realize you're a guy right?
ummmm.......

 

by alfs
12-19-03
So what did you get me for christmas?
I'm not telling you.
Please tell me.
I'm not going to tell you.
Please please please!
God damnit no!

 

by alfs
12-19-03
Please!
Fine I'll tell you, I got you a kick in the ass you big jerkoff.
.....
Happy now?
I'm always happy when something happens to my ass!
God damnit Colby.

 

by alfs
12-19-03
So Scott what are you doing for christmas.
Your hot sexy mom!
.........
In her hot and steamy ass!
Why the hell do I hang out with you guys?
'Cause you're wet and horny mom likes it so much

 

by alfs
12-19-03
My favorite thing to eat is a giant piece of 'beef', with alot of white 'mayo' all over it.
Wow, me too lover!
That has to be the gayest couple I've ever seen.
I just wish I was wearing pants when Colby starts talking about 'beef'.
I swear the graphics off the game cube are less gay then that.
I'm just glad he isn't calling me puffy.

 

by alfs
12-19-03
My favorite thing to eat is a giant piece of 'beef', with alot of white 'mayo' all over it.
Wow, me too lover!
That has to be the gayest couple I've ever seen.
I just wish I was wearing pants when Colby starts talking about 'beef'.
I swear the graphics off the game cube are less gay then that.
I'm just glad he isn't calling me puffy.

 

by alfs
12-19-03
My favorite thing to eat is a giant piece of 'beef', with alot of white 'mayo' all over it.
Wow, me too lover!
That has to be the gayest couple I've ever seen.
I just wish I was wearing pants when Colby starts talking about 'beef'.
I swear the graphics off the game cube are less gay then that.
I'm just glad he isn't calling me puffy.

 

by alfs
12-19-03
Yay! It's Santa
Why hello there Colby! Have you been a good boy this year?
Well I might have been a bit naughty.
....um... I'm sure it's ok
Perhaps I need a spanking!
Um.... I don't really believe in physical punishment.

 

by alfs
12-19-03
But other then that I want a train, and a car, and a plane, and a zebra, and an octopus.
Um.... I really think I should be going
But you have to spank me first Santa!
Yay!
I'll spank you.

 

by alfs
12-19-03
Ha! I did it, I have finally created my army of robots!
No you didn't faggot!
Crush all humans!
Crush all humans!
Crush all humans!
Hey Tyler sorry I'm late your mom let me..... oh fuck. Robots.

 

by alfs
1-21-04
Well Mr. Fluffypoopoo wasn't feeling very well so I took him to the hospital.
So soft looking, I want to touch Mr. Fluffypoopoo.
But they wouldn't take Mr. Fluffypoopoo because they said they where a people hospital.... Colby, what are those?
Can I touch Mr. Fluffypoopoo?
KILL ALL HUMANS!
KILL ALL HUMANS!

 

by alfs
1-21-04
Now my robots shall control the world.
You're such a faggot Tyler.
Through my robots I shall rule almighty!
Tyler, have you noticed how they keep chanting kill all humans? You're a human too fag-boy.
I.... uh.. never thought of that.
Faggot.

 

by alfs
1-21-04
I have called you all here to help me destroy my invincible robot hordes.
Yo fag-boy, if they're so invincible how are we going to destroy them?
Quite simple, we form a large resistance and fight them like the guys in terminator.
Faggot, why the hell don't we just shoot them with all your lasers or something like that?
Hey have you guys notice they all have off switches on their backs?
KILL ALL HUM......

 

by alfs
1-21-04
Well it's a good thing we took care of all those robots.
I just hope Tyler has learned his lesson about invincible hordes.
Doubtful, the fag-boy likes his hordes.
He's probably not going to go through that again, just watch you'll see.
I just need to get the thought processes right and I'll have perfected my robot design.
Have you seen Mr. Fluffypoopoo?

 

by alfs
1-21-04
How have you been Colby? Mr. Fluffypoopoo has missed you, yes you have oh a googoobooboo.
Can I hold Mr. Fluffypoopoo?
Mr. Fluffypoopoo can only be held by me. I'm special and chosen by god to keep Mr. Fluffypoopoo.
Come here you silly little thang.
Mr. Fluffypoopoo! NOOOO!
MMMMEEEEOOOOWWW!!!!!!!!!!

 

by alfs
1-21-04
Mr. Fluffypoopoo get back here you silly little thang!
Um... Colby what the hell are you doing?
MMMMEEEEEOOOOWWWW

 

by alfs
1-21-04
So whats a girl like you doing on a ship like this?
Just sailing like everyone else.
So whats your name hot stuff?
I'm Sadie, um... do you realize you're not wearing pants?
Um.... Yes I am.
Whatever...

 

by alfs
1-21-04
Come here Mr. Fluffypoopoo!
MEEEOOWWW
Almost got you Fluffypoopoo!
COME TO MY AID JESUS!
Who are you?
*Sigh* I am Jesus. The son of the lord almighty, and I have come to help Mr. Fluffypoopoo.

 

by alfs
1-21-04
So how did you get your retarded cat back again?
Well, Jesus came down and smited Colby and returned Mr. Fluffypoopoo to his divine protector.
You realize you're a flaming homo right?
What do you mean?
You know he's kinda right.

 

by alfs
1-21-04
Hahahahah! You shall be my greatest creation yet.
Obey thy Master.
Good good good. I shall rule the world.
I shall Obey thy master!
Told you the fag-boy would do it again.
God damnit.

 

by alfs
1-22-04
Did you see Mr. Fluffypoopoo run? He was fast but I almost had him.
Colby I think we should see other people.
I see other people all the time. Thats what eyes are for.
No, I mean we should date other people and stop being a couple.
Ohhh.... can I keep your dress?
I'm going to leave now.

 

by alfs
1-22-04
So... you're Jesus huh?
Indeed I am my child.
So, whats it like to be nailed to a cross?
The pain and suffering can only be tolerated through the dedication of the faithful.
Dude it's the 21st century there's no such thing as faith anymore.
I'm melting.... MELTING!

 

by alfs
1-22-04
Why are you in my room?
I thought you invited me.
No, thats why I sprayed you with the pepper spray.
But you missed and only got it on my pants so I thought you were hinting at something.
Not quite.... and you're still not wearing pants.
Um..... yes I am.

 

by alfs
1-22-04
That'll be fifty bucks straight up.

 

by alfs
1-22-04
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Wanna see my banana?

 

by alfs
1-22-04
So how long have you been an obsessive homo?
Actually Mr. Fluffypoopoo doesn't like the dry cat food he says it's too crunchy.
It a fucking cat douche bag.
So I try to keep with Mr. Fluffypoopoo's wishes.
Gay?
Oh yeah!

 

by alfs
1-22-04
Yeah so it's my birthday next weekend.
Oh yeah what do you have planned?
Nothin' much just hanging out with my friends.
You don't have friends you pantless douche.
Oh yeah...... you wanna
Don't even finish that dingle-berry.

 

by alfs
1-22-04
Ha! My robots shall destroy you all!
Fag-boy do you really have nothing better to do?
Hey, you shouldn't make fun of me I'm about to become supreme overlord.
No you're not faggot.
Hey Tyler, why do they still all have off switches on their backs?
OBEY THY MASTE......

 

by alfs
1-22-04
Dude....
Serously dude...
Maybe you don't belong here.
I hast thought thine naive would nay shown thine face here.
Good sir, you should leave.
NOOOO, I forgot my costume!

 

by alfs
1-22-04
My name is Chilton.
I like to make bad jokes that only I laugh at.
Grave the Chilton.
God damnit Colby.

 

by alfs
1-22-04
I am the ranger.
I am the king.
I'm the darkelf.
I'm the monk.
I am the noble sir knight.
NOOOO! I forgot my costume again!

 

by alfs
1-26-04
Hello Sir and welcome to Arbys. How may I help you?
Yeah, I've heard you guys cook babies here.
Thats completely untrue! Where have you heard such a lie.
I figured it out when that roast beef sandwich I ate was wearing a diaper.
Gift Card?
Faggot.

 

by alfs
1-27-04
So you're moving huh?
Thats right puffy, I'm moving on up! To a deluxe apartment.
No really where are you going, and don't use anymore lines from the Jeffersons.
What are you talking about Puffy, I'm moving on up to a deluxe apartment on the east side!
I told you to stop with the Jeffersons lines!
No reason to get snippy there Puffs.

 

by alfs
1-27-04
Ok, I gotta keep it cool at the party tonight.
It's all about you man.
Nothing can bring you down.
Just go out there and blow them all away.
You're the man. YOU THE MAN!
Alright..... now where was the party at again?

 

by alfs
1-27-04
Ok, now I gotta act surprized when I go in there. After all it's a surprize party and my birthday only comes around once a year.
Alright I'm here, lets party everyone.
Douche bag you have a week until your birthday.
Well.... do you think we can celebrate earlier since I'm here?
Get out of my room faggot.

 

by alfs
1-29-04
So what do you have planned for me Mr. Alien?
Anal probe.
........
Bend over.
Yay!

 

by alfs
5-30-04
It has come to me that I haven't made a comic in a long time.
And I bet you all are wondering where I am. So from now on I will try to make more comics more often.
Mike makes comics?
God that douche.

 

by alfs
5-30-04
Ding lvl 52!
Hey I'm a pathfinder now!
Man I need a life.

 

by alfs
5-30-04
So this is everquest.
God this is gay.

 

by alfs
6-03-04
Bing, New Email
Guess I should check that.
Bing, New Email
Another?
Bing, Two New Emails
Holy Christ.

 

by alfs
6-03-04
Bing New Email
My god
Bing New Email
NoooOoOOooo!!!!
Bing New Email

 

by alfs
6-03-04
So you want me to light your candle?
Yeah at my wedding it's part of the ceremony.
Part of the ceremony is for me to light your candle?
Yeah it's a really special event!
You realize that sounds really gay right?
What!?! I just want you to light my freakin' candle!

 

by alfs
6-03-04
Man this chick sounds hot!
And I want to rub it all over you.
And she knows what I want too.
I'm so horny, I can't wait.
So when do you want to hook up baby?
How does Saturday sound my big hunka man?

 

by alfs
6-03-04
Well Scott i was reading through your comics and I read the one about us swearing too much.
Yeah i think the guy that wrote that is a faggot.
So I thought on behalf of all our readers... well you and I, we could give a loud shout out.
Sounds good to me.
Everyone who doesn't read this comic, or the ones by Scooter4 and a lesser extent Colbyloftesnessless are complete....
FAGGOTS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by alfs
6-07-04
Hey Mike you remember that time we both called Colby retarded at the same time?
Yeah i remember.
Hey Mike you remember that time we both called Colby retarded at the same time?
YES!
Hey Mike you remember that time we both called Colby retarded at the same time?

 

by alfs
6-07-04
YES I DO!!
Ok but do you remember the time we called him gay at the same time?
oh jesus christ.
Ok but do you remember the time we called him retarded at the same time?
God damnit
Ok but do you remember the time we called him Gay at the same time?

 

by alfs
3-28-05
colby on a normal day
oh if just for one day I could live my dream
Oh if just for one day I could.....
um......
God your gay!
Im not gay.
Whatever..........

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