All comics by ceoddyn

 

by ceoddyn
2-18-10
Looking back, I never got the opportunity to fly first class.
I had no food.

 

by ceoddyn
2-18-10
I'm not sure what's creepier:
how many people there are counting down the hours until they can legally take a dump on Miley Cyrus' chest...
or the number of Miley Cyrus jokes I've come up with to deflect my own obsession of her.

 

by ceoddyn
2-18-10
So then you laced it with a lethal dose of PCP!?
He told me nobody in their right mind would waste much more expensive shit on your weed,
I was just affirming his argument.

 

by ceoddyn
2-18-10
Any time I take a glance inside a Pinkberry there's a hoard of teenage girls floating around, and a couple creepy old men leering from the corners.
So let me get this straight, you enlisted your son in the military to whip the faggot out of him,
and enjoy a selection of assorted toppings on your frozen yogurt?

 

by ceoddyn
2-19-10
A lot of people find Capitalism to be a big scary word.
Some say it's a facade to prop up the wealthy elite!
I wasn't too worried about it until a banker shit in my bed.

 

by ceoddyn
2-19-10
Now don't you just adore the Chomsky Zinn Suicide Pact?
Oh they're quite delectable!
I can't decide whether I prefer their song "Too Soon" or "Only One to Go".

 

by ceoddyn
2-19-10
While you were stumbling through the blood-soaked streets of medieval London during the Bubonic Plague, scrounging for uncontaminated food...
...at times you may have deliriously witnessed another set of red footprints beside your own. However, whenever they appeared to be absent, that...
...was when I was carrying you.

 

by ceoddyn
2-23-10
Yo Claus, lemme cop a ten-sack off you real quick
Man fuck that shit, can't you see we got plain-clothes police linin' that bar right there
Aw come on Santa, I haven't smoked all day, I'm dyin' here man!
I got you on my naughty list now, shitbird

 

by ceoddyn
3-06-10
So any time some girl goes 'Wow I really like you',
Her friend is right there, saying 'get the hell away from this creep', but it's sort of coded in normal small talk.
If only half the chicks in the world were dead.

 

by ceoddyn
3-15-10
So you don't believe you'll ever give up on selling pot?
I don't know dude, I really love spreading that shit around.
I guess it's sort of a Johnny Appleseed Complex.

 

by ceoddyn
3-16-10
Alright kid, I'll give you $800 to chug this soda down right now
Dad, I just sat here and watched you pour poison into it. You even joked about what kind of loser it would take to drink it
Welcome to the real world, bitch

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