All comics by colbyloftesnessless

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Thinks about making a comic.....
.....better not, I'm not funny anyway

 

Everyone knows Scott, why fucking introduce him?
There's Mike, who doesn't know him?
Here's Colby, what a surprise
This is god damn repeditive.

 

Here's Tyler....
Yay, everything's about me.
One of the few characters left unnamed...
I get this one all to myself.
HE'S A GEEK BECAUSE HE HAS GLASSES!!!
That joke wasn't even funny, dumbass.

 

But all these people aren't who you've been waiting for....
Now it's time to reveal: the one, the only....
Puffy!
JESUS CHRIST! I'm a fucking dog!

 
God I love my red shoes

 

Scott in front of a mirror
Scott getting pumped for the fight.
What're you looking at?

 

The day of the big fight
You wanna take this outside?
umm.... ok
...
You wanna take this MORE outside?
What the hell is wrong with you?

 

Not here, it's too scary
let's just get this over with
He senses my weakness
Being punched his weakness is
Gayest punch ever
ow fucker

 

Puffy... I need your wisdom and council
See, there's this girl that I like.
Uh oh, what am I going to say?
2 hours later
So what do you think I should do buddy?
ARF

 

*giggles*
...Do I have to ask?
Oh nothing, it just tickels from the inside.
I'm fucking leaving.

 

What? Was it something I said?
It's everyfucking thing you've ever said...
When will I see you again?
I don't need you, you're a fag and a queer.
Don't let him see you cry...

 

Meanwhile.
I guess I'll just check my email... maybe he wrote.
OH MY GOD! HE DID!
Tyler is gay.
*Sigh* He has such a way with words.

 

Just to let you all know
A lot of people see me in this comic, and they see someone I'm not.
I just want to let you all know the truth.
I'm not REALLY british, that's fucking gross.

 

A simple disagreement.
do it
do it
Do it.
Do it.
FUCKING DO IT YOU COCKBITE
...God damnit

 
Can I do it?
TJ is in this comic, but you can't see him: he's black

 

I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking this comic will be the funniest fucking thing you've ever seen.
How are you so stupid and still alive?
Whoever read this is a total douche.
Yeah, we didn't even do anything. FAG!

 

'Sup ladies? My name's Slim Shady, I'm the lead singer of D12 baby.
OH MY GOD IT'S HIM!!!
BECKY OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S EMINEM!
I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD DUDE, YOU FUCKING ROCK
PLEASE MARSHALL PLEASE LET ME SUCK YOUR COCK!

 

Hello and welcome to Subway, may I take your order?
Heh, you douche!
Damn, another burn. I've gotta get him back.
5 minutes later
YOU'RE the douche, douche.
I think I'll eat in the non-gay section

 

Hello and welcome to Subway. May I take your order?
I'd love to give you orders.
Why is everything a gay joke to you?
I'll have the foot long

 

Hello and wel... You what? fuck it. What do you want puffy?
I don't want anything, I'm just gonna hang out and eat my bone.
I'm sorry sir, you can't eat food from outside of Subway in here.
.......
I'm going to get fired if I don't kick you out.
You're gonna get the fuck chewed out of your leg if you do.

 

It was inevitable.
Oh shit.
Mike... I've noticed a steady decline in the quality of everyone's life here since you started working.
Now I'm not going to say whether or not this involves you not wearing your pants all the time.
At least it's the truth.
Are you firing me? On my very first day?
Only because you're the single most worthless human I've ever been forced to be in contact with.

 

Hey look, it's the fag!
...Hey Scott...
WTF? No insult?
I got fired...
BURN IN HELL you jobless queer!
....I need to be alone now.

 

Hey Scott.
Obviously no one around, who else would you be talking to?
So Scott, how's it going?
OH, it's going well COLBY! Why don't you just go fucking die COLBY!
You alright Scott? You're looking pale.
Not a jury in the land would fucking convict me.

 

Only fags like sports games.
Only queers like Everquest.
Only I like Lunar.

 

Knock Knock silly.
OH MY FUCKING GOD... What do you want now?
I've got a *special delivery* for a Mr. Browne
Is that an innuendo, or do you really have something for me?
Let's settle that over a glass of wine in the bedroom.

 

These comics started from me... I made the original....
Everyone thought mine were so funny, that they'd try making their own...
I just feel so forgotten, I could break down at any moment...
Someone needs a hug...

 

Wanna hang out with our wangs out?
God you are so gay, get away from me.
Wanna rock out with our cocks out?
...God damnit.
Wanna...
Does it look like I 'wanna' play you're little fag games?

 

...Sometimes, I think I'm different.
Too bad you can't wear a different shirt.
That's not what I meant, I mean I think I'm gay sometimes.
Oh.... Um.... Well... Remember that girl you thought was so hot?
Hey, you're right! Let's go celebrate, in the bedroom!
Uh, What I meant to say is that she was a man.

 

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oh, have you heard this one already?
....Is that the joke?
I made it up myself!
That joke was gayer than you

 

Knock Knock
Who is it?
Schfifty
What the fuck? Schfifty who?
SCHFIFTY FIVE!
God damnit

 

I'm engaged
Aren't gay marriages illegal?

 

Hey Mike
What now?
I'm engaged
WTF? To who?
Well, it's a long story
Don't even fucking tell me it's puffy

 

Well now that Colby's engaged, I guess you're the queer now
Wait... How am I the gay one?
Because I fucking say so.
Look around, find me 8 people who care.
No can do faggy
God damnit. I'm not the gay one

 

You're not very good at being the gay one
I fucking told you
You're still a raging fag

 

Do you know anything about Colby's fiancee?
Nothing at all
Think it's a man?
Definately

 

When do I get to meet your fiancee?
Anytime you want. She's going to be at my house tonight.
Later that day
I'll bet she's a ugly ho. Who else would marry Colby?
Oh hi. You must be Mike. I'm Karyn. It's good to finally meet you.
Holy fucking shit

 

Wanna spoon?
You know what?
Nope, what?
I don't ever want to fucking spoon with you
If you don't spoon with me, I'll fork you
I'm leaving

 

I've made a decision
What's that?
You and your friends can have a stripper at your bachelor party, under one condition
Which is?
No touching and no nudity
ok....So she'll come in and take off her coat and we'll all play some scrabble then

 

So are you guys coming to my bachelor party?
...
...
Wait... He's really getting married?
I thought it was a fucking joke

 

Hey baby, you want some of this?
Let's just see what we can fit in there
Oh yeah, that sounds hot
Here it comes
What a nightmare!
Come back to bed

 

Wait a minute... What made us think Colby was gay in the first place?
...You know know that I think about it I don't really know
Oh fizzlesticks, I broke a nail. I guess it's back to the salon for this silly-bottom boy
wow that rang a few fucking bells
I totally remember now

 

Man Colby sure is gay
HA! You got that right, eh faggy?
...Wait, where the hell is he?
Beats me
World of Warcraft
Ding
Grats!

 

By sweetheart, I love you
Man I need to get a burger or something I'm fucking starving.
oh my god, he's either been married for a year or she's been kidnapped...OR BOTH!
That's hot

 

Seriously, we've got to break her out of there
I knew he was sick, but this is too far
Let's march over there and break that poor woman out
I'll get a bat or something to break in the window
Hey guys

 
...
What the fuck?

 

You fucking said she was a hostage or something
She's probably been brainwashed or something
Or she's a mooching whore, taking advantage of him
Or she's a slutty homeless chick who...
I'm RIGHT FUCKING HERE you douchebags!

 

So... Was she kidnapped by him, or is she holding him hostage
Either way it's totally wrong
We're married you dick fucks! We've been married for a year!
Maybe they take turns holding each other hostage or something
I think that makes the most sense
I'm outta here fudgepackers. Eat a bag of dicks.

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